Chapter 1205: Chapter 1205: Is It Really You?

The room was very dark.

Xia Ruqing, suppressing her fear and anxiety, walked in with trembling cold limbs.

She didn’t pay attention to the door frame.

With a bang, she tripped and almost fell.

"Slow down!"

Zhao Junqi grabbed her just in time.

Xia Ruqing didn’t bother to speak to him, she shook him off violently with tears flowing and continued walking inside.

Her body was cold as she focused and held her breath, trying to find any trace of him in the darkness.

Unfortunately... there was nothing but an increasingly strong stench of blood in the air.

With every step she took, her heart grew colder.

Zhao Junyao, is it really you?

It must not be you, right?

A ray of sunlight streamed through the narrow window.

Instead of illuminating the room, it contrasted sharply with the bustling world of flowers and trees outside, making the room feel even darker and colder.

The narrow room had nothing but a four-legged wooden board.

On the board lay a corpse covered with white cloth, the source of the bloody smell.

The blood was so abundant that even the white cloth and the ground around the board were stained with spots of blood.

It looked.

Exactly like Zhao Junqi had described, ’smashed into a meat patty’.

Xia Ruqing trembled all over, uncontrollably kneeling down.

"Emper..."

"Emperor?"

"Is it really you?" Her voice was filled with trembling and hoarseness.

She collapsed on the ground, crying her heart out.

Her face, already pale, became even more disheveled after the fall; her hair loosened, and her clothes were untidy, with the wound on her hand reopening, staining the gauze and sleeves with blood.

She looked utterly miserable!

Xia Ruqing cried uncontrollably.

Though she used to fear the dead and corpses the most, she no longer knew what fear meant. 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖

She knelt on the ground, shaking his corpse while sobbing.

"Zhao Junyao, you bastard!"

"Wake up!"

"Without you, my life has been terrible!"

"Look at the state I’m in!"

"Weren’t you the one who cared about me the most? Hurry back!"

"Even if not for me, think of the children!"

"You adored Yue Er the most; who knows what will become of her when she finds out!"

"She is your most beloved daughter! You promised to teach her how to ride a horse personally!"

"Zhao Junyao, come back to me..."

For the first time, Xia Ruqing understood what it meant to collapse.

Her heart had long since become numb with pain, and she had grown accustomed to the smell of blood.

The only thing she couldn’t get used to was life without him.

Xia Ruqing cried to the extreme, clutching at her painful wound, then suddenly vomited a mouthful of fresh blood.

Unable to watch any longer, Zhao Junqi turned around to support her.

Xia Ruqing violently shook off his hand, her red eyes filled with malice and defensiveness.

"Don’t touch me!"

"Whether he’s alive or dead, I’m only his. You better put away your wishful thinking!"

A sharp glint flashed in Zhao Junqi’s eyes, but he quickly withdrew his hand, speaking gently.

"Don’t be angry!"

"I won’t hold you."

"I just feel sorry seeing you like this. I’ll leave you be for now!"

Saying that, Zhao Junqi indeed turned and left.

Xia Ruqing’s body, barely holding on, instantly fell limp.

After crying for a while, she wiped her tears and turned to look at the person beneath the white cloth.

Hesitating for a moment.

Finally gathering her courage, she slowly lifted the white cloth, grabbing his icy hand, and a stiff smile suddenly emerged on her pale, bloodless face.

"Zhao Junyao,"

"Do you know?"

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were handsome!"

"Although... you had so many concubines, during those times you were with so many women, I never really resisted!"

"Mostly because I didn’t dare to, considering you held my life in your hands."

"And a small part... maybe I liked you!"

"Haha..."

"Do you think I’m crazy, to actually like a man with so many women!"

Xia Ruqing chuckled a couple of times, playing with his hand, as if they were having an everyday conversation.

After a short pause, she continued.

"I really was so foolish then!"

"I didn’t even realize I liked you, only seeing you as a meal ticket!"

"All I thought about was currying favor with you."

"Because I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live, to have enough to eat and wear warm clothes!"

"My life has been too bitter; living well was more important than anything!"

"So..."

Xia Ruqing began to weep again.

"I have flattered and pleased you for so many years!"

"I thought you just favored me a bit more than others; I never expected you’d love me earnestly for so many years!"

"I thought you only cared for your empire and not for romantic sentiments; I never expected you’d give your life for me!"

"I thought the day would come when our youthful bond fades; I never expected you’d go before I did!"

"Zhao Junyao, I’m sorry it took me so many years to understand your heart!"

"I’m so stupid, you must be so disappointed in me!"

After saying this, she shook her head again.

"No, I’ve always been stupid. I wasn’t just stupid, I was lazy and gluttonous and hated studying, yet you never despised me!"

"Look at me, what have I done!"

Xia Ruqing suddenly felt her past self was ridiculous.

Did ancient people not have love?

Was there no love in the feudal society?

Just because he had three thousand beauties in the harem, he couldn’t have love?

Is this a contradiction?

Was it his fault to be born in ancient times?

Was it his fault to be an emperor?

Was marrying all those women truly what he intended?

Not at all!

Then why couldn’t he deserve love!

Those who said ancient people with several wives don’t understand love, do you think modern people understand love better?

If everyone truly understood love,

Then why would so many girls rather remain single for life than get married!

If everyone understood,

Then why are there so many toxic opinions like ’Men will turn bad once they’re rich, live extravagantly, women need to learn to love themselves’ and so on.

If everyone understood,

There wouldn’t be so many resentful couples driven by love that leads to hatred, even resulting in death.

So... what was his mistake?

Are modern men much purer or cleaner than he was? How laughable!

Xia Ruqing covered his cold hands over and over, trying to bring back a trace of warmth, but unfortunately... to no avail.

...

After half a Shi Chen.

When Zhao Junqi was growing impatient from waiting.

Xia Ruqing emerged from the room, her face dazed and lost.

The bright sunlight outside was too harsh for her, making her head spin and eyes dim.

Zhao Junqi stepped forward to support her.

"Are you alright?"

Xia Ruqing silently and decisively withdrew her arm.

"I’m fine!"

"I’m tired, I want to go back to the room to rest!"

Zhao Junqi immediately responded.

"Alright! Let me escort you back!"

Xia Ruqing, with a blank expression, said nothing, following behind him slowly.

They turned several corners; who knows how far they walked.

Eventually, they arrived at her residence.

The maid attended to Xia Ruqing as she lay down on the bed.

Zhao Junqi sat by the bed, his face gentle.

"Rest well. I’ll come back to check on you later!"

Xia Ruqing, wanting nothing to do with him, closed her eyes in silence.