Chapter 106: Chapter 106: Can’t Live Without Mei Wanying

"Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager wishes to see you," Wei Jue reported cautiously.

He was afraid the man wouldn’t hear, yet also afraid of startling him.

The white-haired man’s expression was cold, and a deathly stillness clung to him, devoid of any sign of life.

If not for the devout posture of his kneeling and the way he mumbled Mei Wanying’s name, one might have truly mistaken him for a dead man.

To the observing "Pei Yan," three words appeared in his mind: ’a walking corpse.’

Because he had dreamed of many such things before, this "Pei Yan" was not surprised.

If he were the one to experience the tragedy from the dream, he would likely be the same.

He couldn’t even bear to imagine losing Mei Wanying, let alone experience it firsthand.

’I would go mad!’

’I wouldn’t be able to live!’

The man remained kneeling, motionless, offering no response no matter what Wei Jue said.

Wei Jue said, "The Empress Dowager has been unwell lately. The Imperial Physician says it’s an illness of the heart, and that such an illness requires a medicine for the heart. Only by resolving this emotional knot can she recover. If she remains despondent, I’m afraid..."

Perhaps annoyed by Wei Jue’s chatter, the man stated with unnerving calm, "I’ve said it. I will never see her!"

His attitude was resolute, his expression unwavering.

Wei Jue fell silent and withdrew from the grand hall.

Pei Yan had already ascended the throne.

His military achievements were legendary, and he commanded great authority. It was thought his ascension would usher in an era of peace and prosperity, that under his rule, enemies would never again dare to invade.

But unexpectedly, his temperament changed drastically. He became obsessed with seeking immortality and the Dao, desperate to find a way to resurrect the dead.

He ignored state affairs and refused to take concubines to continue the imperial line.

The court officials wanted to prop up a new emperor, but they couldn’t find a single legitimate candidate.

The imperial court fell into chaos.

The Pei Family’s empire might also collapse.

But Pei Yan cared about none of it, and those who wanted to preserve the empire could only worry helplessly.

The former Empress Gu was now the Empress Dowager.

She was the most anxious of all.

To secure her son’s position on the throne, she had planned every step with meticulous care.

Even her actions against Mei Wanying stemmed from resentment that the girl lacked foresight and failed to consider the bigger picture.

She never imagined that when Mei Wanying died, her own son’s soul would follow.

All that remained was an empty shell, tormenting others and himself.

Empress Dowager Gu wanted to see Pei Yan, sending messengers time and again, but Pei Yan’s answer was always the same.

"Never!"

Mei Wanying had been gone for three years, and for three years, Pei Yan had struggled desperately. He tried every method, but still could not resurrect his first wife.

Pei Yan finally stopped his desperate efforts.

Mei Wanying and their child were dead. Pei Yan accepted this fact, but he could not forgive himself.

He had been so close—so close to saving Mei Wanying and their child.

Or, he should have been unyielding from the start and insisted on sending Mei Wanying away.

At least... at least Mei Wanying would still be alive.

From the very beginning, all he ever wanted was for Mei Wanying to live. The child was not important.

An insignificant thing, not worth even a single one of Mei Wanying’s fingers. If it was gone, it was gone.

But in the end, Mei Wanying was gone, too.

A sob escaped the man’s throat, and tears suddenly welled up in his dead, vacant eyes.

Kneeling before the gods and buddhas, he prayed again and again, willing to pay any price if it would bring Mei Wanying back.

Power, glory, his own life... they could take it all.

’I only want Mei Wanying.’

’This time, I won’t be cold to Mei Wanying. I won’t say one thing and mean another.’

’I love Mei Wanying!’

’I can’t live without her!’

A deathly stillness surrounded the man, yet tears streamed endlessly from his eyes, as if he were trying to repay every tear Mei Wanying had ever shed.

Pei Yan muttered to himself, "Do I have to die to see Mei Wanying?"

Mei Wanying had not once appeared in his dreams, even when he took elixirs.

’Mei Wanying must resent me, hate me.’

From the day she married him, Mei Wanying had never known a single day of peace.

He had thought that with Mei Wanying as the sole mistress of the manor, she would surely live a happy and carefree life, free to do as she pleased, that no one would dare criticize her even if she turned the world upside down.

But the reality was the complete opposite.

Mei Wanying’s life was anything but good. Because he didn’t support her, everyone bullied her.

In just a few short months, Mei Wanying’s sharp edges had been worn smooth, and she was tormented by gossip and slander to the point of agony.

She was no longer proud and vibrant; even living a simple, peaceful life became an extravagant hope.

No wonder she had risked traveling to the Border to find him while pregnant. That was Mei Wanying grasping at her last straw.

She wanted her husband’s understanding and protection; she wanted to rely on him.

It was the last chance Mei Wanying gave him, but he didn’t cherish it.

Instead, he twisted the knife in her heart.

Even if Xue Yunshu was just a shield, it didn’t erase the harm done to Mei Wanying.

Mei Wanying must have been utterly disappointed in him, which was why she had been so desperate to leave the Border.

Every memory that surfaced, one after another, was of a hurt he had inflicted upon Mei Wanying.

No wonder that despite his desperate pleas, Mei Wanying was still unwilling to enter his dreams or even grant him another glance.

"I’ll trade my life to have Mei Wanying back, all right?"

The gods and buddhas gazed back, impassive and silent, offering no response.

Pei Yan fell into complete despair.

He had tried every method, but none could resurrect Mei Wanying.

Everyone said he was mad—that he had cast aside the throne he had fought so hard to win, all for a woman.

Others called him a tyrant who slaughtered the innocent.

He had indeed killed Xue Yunshu.

That woman had dared to inform the enemy, causing Mei Wanying to be taken hostage.

Her death was not worthy of pity!

If Xue Xingyao hadn’t been Mei Wanying’s good friend and pleaded with him personally, the entire Xue Family would have been buried with her!

And the Useless Crown Prince who had coveted Mei Wanying—he had been granted a cup of poisoned wine.

His own mother, who had suppressed Mei Wanying, was confined to the inner palace by his decree, never to be seen by him again.

He didn’t need anyone interfering in his and Mei Wanying’s affairs under the guise of acting in his best interest.

If his mother hadn’t interfered, he would have received Mei Wanying’s letters and known of her grievances.

Perhaps the outcome would have been different.

And there was Mrs. Mei. Her poor health was why she had schemed so deliberately to find a protector for Mei Wanying.

What happened that night—it wasn’t Mei Wanying’s doing.

She was set up.

She was completely innocent.

On the day she learned Mei Wanying had taken her own life, Mrs. Mei followed her in death.

By the time Pei Yan returned to the capital with Mei Wanying’s body, Mrs. Mei’s funeral arrangements had already been handled by General Mei’s former subordinates.

In the end, the mother and daughter never had a final meeting.

Pei Yan buried the family of three together and left a space for himself.

He had always been part of the Mei family!

Pei Yan had taken revenge on every person who had bullied Mei Wanying.

Now, it was his own turn.

The man held a golden hairpin in his hand, one he had taken from Mei Wanying’s body.

Dark red bloodstains still clung to the pin.

Pei Yan had not wiped them away.

That splash of red stung his eyes once more, and the image of Mei Wanying, lifeless, surfaced in his mind again.

’I can’t delay any longer.’

’Otherwise, Ah Yin will be scared.’

’Her eyes are weak. She needs someone to hold her hand tightly.’

The man gripped the golden hairpin and, in the same manner as Mei Wanying, plunged it into a vital point.

The metallic scent of blood filled his nostrils, and the man who had been like a walking corpse finally showed a flicker of a reaction.

’So... this is how much it hurts.’

No wonder that when he had held Mei Wanying in his arms, he had seen the dried tear tracks at the corners of her eyes.

’She was a pampered young lady, afraid of pain more than anything.’