Chapter 109: Chapter 109: Will You Still Come Back?

Xue Xingyao couldn’t stand to be around Chen Shujing for another day. She wanted to set out for Jiangnan immediately to find Mei Wanying.

Chen Shujing found it both funny and exasperating. "No wonder His Highness gets jealous of you."

He was getting a little jealous of Miss Mei himself.

To Xue Xingyao, Mei Wanying was her companion and her confidante; they trusted each other implicitly.

Aside from her own mother, Mei Wanying was the person she trusted most in the world.

She recalled Pei Yan’s possessive nature, how he seemed to wish everyone would stay far away from Ah Yin.

Xue Xingyao snorted. "That’s because he’s petty."

Chen Shujing took Xue Xingyao’s hand. "Ah Yao, why don’t you leave tomorrow? We could... have dinner together."

When he met her placid gaze, Chen Shujing began to feel flustered again.

He quickly interjected, "You’re about to go on a long journey. You should at least inform the elders."

Xue Xingyao was silent for a moment. "You’re right, I should."

Ever since she had married into the Chen Family, the elders had shown her nothing but concern. Even when the Xue Family fell into trouble, their attitude hadn’t changed.

’If only Chen Shujing hadn’t deceived me. How wonderful that would have been.’

The family elders had all noticed how thin and haggard Xue Xingyao had become.

They hoped she would focus on her health so she could add to the family line.

But Jiangnan was too far away. A trip like that could mean she’d be gone for months.

’A married woman shouldn’t be gallivanting about.’ Madam Chen thought it over and still felt it was improper.

"If you wish to see Miss Mei, you can invite her to visit the manor. She’s unmarried and has no husband or children to tie her down. It wouldn’t be difficult for her to travel."

Xue Xingyao’s hands clenched in her lap. Keeping her eyes downcast, she said, "I have never been to Jiangnan. I would like to see it."

A look of disapproval crossed Madam Chen’s face.

A woman, once married, should stay within the inner quarters, manage household affairs, and bear children.

Running around outside all day—it was simply not proper.

"It’s not as if you won’t have other chances. When the time is right, you can have Ah Jing take you and the child."

Hearing the word "child," Chen Shujing’s heart gave a heavy thud, and he instinctively glanced at Xue Xingyao’s face.

But her expression was completely serene.

There was no sadness, no grief, and certainly no loss of control.

Chen Shujing grew flustered once more.

’This was a child we both looked forward to. Now that the child is gone, this shouldn’t be her reaction.’

Xue Xingyao said, "My health... I don’t know if there will be any lingering issues. My husband is busy seeing to my family’s affairs. I want to take this opportunity to go to Jiangnan to seek medical care and recuperate."

Madam Chen hadn’t heard of any renowned physicians for women’s health in Jiangnan, but the moment she heard Xue Xingyao was doing this for the sake of her fertility, her stance softened.

’Fine.’

’Seeing her friend will lift her spirits, and her health is sure to improve as well.’

’By the time she returns from Jiangnan, Ah Jing should be free, making it the perfect time to try for a child.’

The matter of an heir concerned the continuation of the family line, so Madam Chen had no choice but to compromise and allow Xue Xingyao to make the long journey.

She instructed her, "Bring plenty of gifts for Mrs. Mei and Miss Mei. Don’t neglect the proper courtesies."

Xue Xingyao assented, rising to give Madam Chen a respectful bow.

’Compared to the vicious mothers-in-law in other families, hers was actually quite reasonable and tolerant.’

’If I could just swallow this bitter pill, perhaps I could continue living this "good life."’

A life of luxury, surrounded by servants.

’But I truly can’t stomach it.’

’I don’t want to compete with a dead woman, and I don’t want to deal with a succession of stand-ins in the future.’

’Having witnessed my mother’s cautionary tale, I know I can’t live this way.’

’Mother regretted marrying Father. She wanted a divorce, but she was trapped by her children, unable to move forward or retreat.’

Xue Xingyao thought, ’Perhaps the loss of my child is a sign, telling me to leave without any hesitation.’

’This marriage was founded on deceit. If I let myself sink into it mindlessly, I might one day find myself drowning.’

Xue Xingyao didn’t want to look back on her life as an old woman filled with regret.

’I will follow my heart. I won’t stomach this farce.’

’As for the consequences of leaving the Chen Family, I’ll bear them myself.’

Without any regrets!

With the elders’ permission, nothing stood in the way of Xue Xingyao’s departure.

She instructed her servants to pack, telling them to include all the portable valuables from her dowry.

’The larger pieces that I can’t take now will be left behind for the time being. I’ll send someone to retrieve them on the day of the divorce.’

’The Chen Family is powerful and prestigious; they wouldn’t stoop to stealing my dowry.’

As Xue Xingyao directed the maids and servants, Chen Shujing sat to the side, watching her in a daze.

He suddenly asked her, "Ah Yao, are you coming back?"

’Xue Xingyao’s mind wasn’t on Chen Shujing. She was busy calculating how long she and her family could live on these dowry assets.’

She asked dismissively, "Why would you think that?"

He noted that her gaze never once fell on him. All he could see was her desperation to leave.

Chen Shujing felt increasingly stifled.

He walked over to her. "Why do I get the feeling that if you leave, you’re not coming back?"

Xue Xingyao’s breath hitched. She curved her lips into a slight smile. "You’re overthinking it."

His gaze was probing. "Then why are you taking so many things?"

’She really looks like she’s running away from home.’

’But we haven’t fought. We’ve had no conflicts in our marriage. Would Ah Yao really be thinking of this?’

Xue Xingyao continued to take inventory. "I plan to establish some assets in Jiangnan for my mother and the rest of my family."

’After everything that’s happened, they definitely can’t stay in the Capital City any longer.’

’Even if they’re eventually acquitted, the sheer fall from their former status would be enough to crush them.’

’And if anyone tried to kick them while they’re down...’ Just the thought of it was painful for Xue Xingyao.

’It’s better to leave.’

’Go somewhere new and start over.’

’Jiangnan is Ah Yin’s home. At least there, I’ll still have my best friend.’

This reason set Chen Shujing’s mind at ease.

He told Xue Xingyao not to touch her dowry. "Withdraw a sum of silver from my accounts. You can also pick anything you want from the storerooms."

’A woman’s dowry is her foundation, her source of security and confidence.’

Xue Xingyao shook her head. "My mother wouldn’t agree. I’d just have to pay you back then, and it would be a hassle."

Chen Shujing sighed. "But we’re family."

As if she had heard a hilarious joke, Xue Xingyao suddenly let out a soft laugh.

’Now I understand why Shen Mingxiao entrusted her younger brother to Chen Shujing.’

’He’s just that kind of "great guy"!’

’Xue Xingyao had no desire to judge whether Chen Shujing was right or wrong. All she knew was that this marriage was making her miserable.’

’And she wanted out.’

"What are you laughing at?" The corners of Chen Shujing’s mouth turned up, his mood lifting slightly.

Xue Xingyao said, "I just think you’re such a good person. You should live to be a hundred so you can help even more people."

Her words sounded a bit strange, but Chen Shujing just took it as praise.

Feeling pleased, he began to help her pack.

He also added several priceless antique scrolls to her things.

’They could be used to overcome difficulties, if need be.’

As night fell, Chen Shujing decided to stay in their marital bedroom.

In the time since their wedding, he had mostly slept in the marital bedroom, but sometimes he would stay alone in the study.

He had no female confidantes, and Xue Xingyao had been happy to give him his space.

Except now, she knew the secret.

’Xue Xingyao wondered again and again: on the nights he stayed in the study, was he thinking about Miss Shen?’

’If he can’t let her go, then why force himself to put on this act with me?’

Xue Xingyao said, "It’s been quite dry lately. A fire started in the study a few days ago. It was put out in time, but..."

Before she could finish, his expression changed.

Without another word, he hurried off toward the study.

His tall figure quickly vanished, and Xue Xingyao gave a self-mocking smile.

’As expected. His lost love was the most important thing.’

She blew out the lamp.

Chen Shujing wouldn’t be coming back tonight.