Chapter 329: Saiph’s Calmness is Terrifying

(Rigel)

"Nothing worse than what she did to you," he answers evasively.

He is avoiding answering me, hiding whatever has happened.

Is he afraid that I will judge him?

A man’s ego is magnanimous and he never wants to admit to things that shatter the illusion of him being all mighty and manly.

"You need to tell me what that vile woman did to you. How she destroyed your life, mine, Alnilam’s. What are you so afraid of?" I bristle at him. The tears burn the back of my eyes.

The hatred that burns inside me is a seething abyss which I am afraid will engulf the people I love and me, if I don’t deal with it.

How is Saiph so unaffected?

"Rigel, it’s not going to change anything but bring pain. I am not going to do that," he says with the finality of an older brother. Although he might be only a few minutes older than me.

"Aren’t you angry? Don’t you want to pull her heart out of her chest? How are you so fucking calm?" My outrage is unfiltered and I continue. He lets me.

"She is the one who sent our mother away to be locked up in Istrale, I know now. She always told me she killed my mother, just to get a reaction from me. Don’t you want to free our mother and embrace her? Have you ever embraced her?"

He levels himself with me. While I am drowning in a sea of rage and madness, Saiph seems to be leisurely swimming.

The calmness he carries is beyond me, no it terrifies me.

"I do but losing ourselves in blinding anger won’t do us any good." He places both his hands on my quivering shoulders.

My shadows have entirely covered his arms like a shroud of midnight denseness. They refuse to return to me, seeking some kind of solace from our twin. There is something under his skin that they seek which I don’t understand.

"Then what do you want me to do? Act normal? Pretend I am alright." My voice refuses to remain contained.

"No." He shakes his head and lets his right hand drop to where my heart is.

"Save it for the right time, then unleash it at once. Trust me, you will know when that destined moment will come." In this Pandemonium, his smile is the only light I see.

"Promise me, promise me that you will help me end her. For our mother, for Amaia, for our brothers and for yourself." I press his hand against my ribcage and he nods.

"I promise, we will take our revenge and free our mother. I can’t wait to meet her," he says with a small smile and further.

"You need to meet Amaia. She was broken when you left. Alnilam and the twins gathered her with difficulty."

My shoulders hunch at that. I want nothing more than to have Amaia in my arms but the guilt that has grappled my heart won’t let me.

Saiph senses it. "Look how she found and burnt all the voodoo dolls to free us." Saiph points and shows me the box I had seen Alnilam putting away earlier.

"She doesn’t care. She wants you Rigel and it makes her and all of us stronger when we are with her and not distanced." He grabs my shoulders again, showering me with worldly wisdom which I lack, because I haven’t lived in the outside world.

"That’s what the enemy wants, that we distrust each other, that we fight, that we ignore. Don’t give them that ammunition and satisfaction. We are each other’s strength."

That extreme agitation in my heart abates. I thought only Amaia could bring me peace but my twin is equally capable.

"I don’t know what to say to her...where to begin," my voice trails off.

"Begin with sorry and let her take charge. The rest of us will be there."

The mindlink between us opens and Saiph’s voice reaches out to the rest of us. ’Can we all gather?’

Amaia is the one to answer first. ’Please! Is Rigel with you?’ Her desperation is so apparent in her voice that I want to snatch her out and plaster her to my chest.

’Yes, he is...and he is ready to meet you.’

Saiph speaks through.

’Alnitak is resting and both of you have a lot of catching up to do. We will come to you guys in a few hours. Alright?’ Alnilam’s voice comes.

’We will wait for you guys. How is Alnitak?’ I finally speak.

’He is resting after TJ examined him and gave him medicine. He is going to be alright,’ Mintaka answers.

I haven’t even been able to meet Alnitak after he got injured and fell unconscious.

My thoughts are interrupted by Amaia’s emotional voice.

’Rigel, are you alright? I miss you.’ How my heart misses a beat with her voice. I had never thought I could love someone after the kind of life I had and yet, here she is, defying all norms.

The memories of me holding her during childhood come to me, warming my heart.

’I am, I will see you soon.’ I try to keep my voice steady and emotions in check.

’We have given samples for DNA tests, once you guys are free come to the infirmary for samples,’ Alnilam instructs us.

’Okay!’ Saiph answers.

We disconnect the link. Saiph sits beside me on the other sofa.

"Unburden, Rigel. Whatever you want to say or vent. You can. You are safe with me."

Safe....

I haven’t felt safe in a long long time. The fear of being violated again, the agony of my body getting plundered has snatched away any sense of safety.

Even with all the curses gone, I can’t help but fear when I will be cursed again. The horror of hurting the people I have come to care for, haunts me.

I am always on guard, my body in heightened senses, hyperactive.

But, here is my twin, telling me I am safe with him. My shadows haven’t left him, not for a second, like taking residence on his body.

For a second, I close my eyes. Let myself breathe, like really breathe and then I focus my eyes on Saiph and begin.