(Rigel)

The anger inside me keeps bubbling. I am not enraged that my father didn’t find me but more like he didn’t try harder. Now it feels easier to stay mad at him.

As easy as it is to stay by my mother and Amaia’s side, it’s difficult for me to converse with others—especially my father.

He requests that I accompany him outside the library and tries to coax me into conversation.

"Rigel, I know I don’t understand the extent of it," he begins.

"No, you don’t. Don’t even try," I sharply say, leaning against the wall and folding my arms over my chest. It aches, my heart, my chest.

He nods with pain rippling on his face.

"But you can talk to me about it. I will always listen." My father places his hand on my shoulder.

"I am not sure how that will change the outcome of what happened. Do you even know what happened?" I shake his hand away.

"I don’t. Share with me Rigel, share your burdens. You don’t have to carry them alone or drown in the darkness."

I am no longer alone but the horrors of what happened, what she did not only to me but also to Amaia, Saiph and Alnilam are etched onto my soul. I don’t think I can speak about those horrors. Not yet anyways.

"You weren’t there when I needed you. I don’t need you now," I flatly tell him.

"A son always needs his father. The guilt of losing Saiph is already drowning me," he pleads. "Please, don’t shun me."

We are interrupted when Alnilam walks over and I am glad.

"Father, Rigel." He gives one nod and faces our father. "General Bakshi needs you, regarding the eastern border. He is at the palace."

Defeatedly, my father’s shoulders slump.

"We will speak on the matter later." Two sentinels take him away as he returns to the palace.

Alnilam comes to stand beside me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I know how difficult it is for you to speak about what happened. But he was betrayed in the worst possible way." The wind picks up, swaying Alnilam’s long silver hair. "And it’s the guilt that kills you silently, guilt of not being able to protect the people you love." He turns his head and watches me with a silent plea. "Like it’s doing me, him and Amaia."

I understand where Alnilam is coming from. Amaia’s grief is like a stone on our chests and not for a moment can we breathe freely.

"She didn’t tell us about her abuse. She skipped that part." With a sigh, I lift my head and stare at the sky.

"Yes, she seemed to have been choked with some kind of rope. What I found strange was how the strand of my hair crept back to me when I went to that room and hid amidst my locks. It refuses to return to her and I don’t know why."

That does make me think. His hair loves her, there is no doubt so why wouldn’t it return to her? What happened there that she is still hiding?

"We need a private conversation with her after the ritual. I think she refrained in front of our parents," I thoughtfully say and he nods.

"Yes, we will." Alnilam takes a deep breath. "I know it’s not the time but will you be leaving with your mom after the ritual and war? She wants to be with her real mate as she deserves to be."

That throws me. I do want to be with my mom and at the same time, I can’t live without Amaia and my brothers.

"I don’t know yet. For now, I want Saiph back. We have time for this decision." My words are heavy and Alnilam feels the impact.

"I understand."

We stand there, staring at the sky which is slowly darkening. In two days we are going to perform the ritual and resurrect my brother.

***

I dress Amaia in a simple white gown. Taking Saiph’s handkerchief, Mintaka ties back her golden hair. Alnilam and Alnitak are already in the castle grounds, with our parents and Amaia’s brother. They are creating the Constellation of Orion using crushed crystals and marking the boundaries with candles.

I hold her shoulders. "We will be by your side. Anything goes wrong. Just stop."

She gives me a half-hearted nod. I know her now, there is always guilt that flashes in her eyes when she doesn’t agree to something we say. Deep down, I know she is going to push herself. By no means do I wish to lose her.

Heartily, I kiss her while Mintaka embraces her. He has been quiet recently, too quiet. I haven’t seen him speak at all. All of us are on the edge.

We move out. Silence is heavy among us. The tension is so palpable that I feel my nerves get jittery. The sentinels are everywhere, guarding. The magic can be felt in the air from all the spells that have been placed in case we are attacked.

We arrive at the ground where all the preparations have been made. Saiph has been laid in his spot. At the heart of the Constellation of Orion where stars Mintaka, Alnitak and Alnilam lie. His hands clasped on his chest with his scythe, lying underneath. He appears to be peacefully sleeping. The orb hovers over him, never leaving his side.

The rest of us are wearing green gowns. The colour of healing and newness.

"Take your positions," Mom quietly says. The shadows of tiredness are heavy under her eyes. None of us has slept much.

Amaia goes to stand by Saiph and we form a circle around them. Aziel hands each of us a candle and lights it. The flames burn softly, waving in the winds.

The sky is almost reddish-pink today. The sun is tipping down about to disappear.

Once all of us have taken our positions. My mother says before starting the chant. "No matter what, don’t break your position. We must protect Amaia and Saiph as the barrier between our world and the other realm will thin and forces beyond our control will descend to help her or hurt her. Be aware."