Becoming a Monster
Chapter 539 - 538: Wisdom Born from Pain
Alexandria continued speaking to Dobby about the changes she experienced after consuming Noah’s blood, while he quietly listened beside her.
Most of the conversation was one-sided. Dobby rarely interrupted, only occasionally giving a small nod or asking a calm question whenever Alexandria struggled to explain something properly.
Compared to before, his presence somehow felt even quieter now. He didn’t feel empty, but his emotional state felt more still than before.
Then suddenly, Dobby’s ears twitched.
The subtle motion caused Alexandria to stop speaking mid-sentence. She watched as his attention drifted away from her entirely.
"What is it?"
Dobby slowly turned his head toward Noah.
Alexandria blinked in confusion before looking toward him as well.
For several moments, neither of them spoke. Noah was trying to come up with the best way to tell Dobby what he needed without feeling as if it was forced.
This change would be forcefully binding him to himself, and such an act needed the confirmation from both parties.
Dobby’s clouded gaze remained fixed on Noah for a moment longer before he finally spoke.
"A good deed often carries more than one reason behind it," he said softly. "But I will not deny you what you seek."
His clouded silver eyes remained fixed on Noah.
"I am ready."
Noah didn’t take his eyes off Dobby. Instead, he studied Dobby more carefully than before.
This time, it wasn’t his abilities that Noah was analyzing, but it was the cat’s state of awareness.
What lingered within Dobby felt deeper than simple maturity. It was a kind of wisdom that even Noah felt incapable of comparing to.
Because wisdom was not the same thing as intelligence.
Intelligence allowed someone to uncover a truth.
Wisdom came from understanding how to live with those truths.
With Noah’s unique perception, his intellect allowed him to uncover the hidden principles behind mana circulation and re-engineer them for himself.
But even after understanding how mana functioned, Noah still viewed it as something to control, dissect, and reshape.
Dobby felt different.
It was as though he had already accepted there were things within the world that didn’t need to be fully understood for them to be respected.
Dobby didn’t fully understand what Noah intended to do, and yet he accepted it without hesitation.
And from his words alone, it was clear that Dobby had already realized Noah’s intentions were not born from ill intent.
Noah hadn’t strengthened him, helping him recover purely out of kindness. Dobby understood that much already. 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮
There were benefits Noah desired from this change as well.
Yet Dobby accepted that without judgment, because he understood something most creatures failed to.
A selfish act was not always the same thing as a heartless one.
Sometimes people helped others because they cared.
Other times, they helped because both sides gained something.
Neither erased the sincerity behind the act itself.
For several moments, Noah remained silent while staring into Dobby’s clouded eyes.
Then finally, he spoke.
"You’re even more accommodating than before..." Noah’s Nexus eye glowed again. This time, he wasn’t observing the density of Dobby’s mana, but the way it reacted to his emotions.
Or rather...
The lack of reaction.
Even while speaking with Alexandria, reassuring her, and now confronting Noah directly, Dobby’s aura hadn’t fluctuated in the slightest.
Not even the subtle instability emotions are naturally caused within mana. Everything inside Dobby remained unnaturally still.
Even Noah himself couldn’t prevent his mana from staying completely unmoved, contrary to his emotions. He had to be fully conscious of it the entire time if he wanted to keep it under control.
"Is it because you simply don’t care... or because you’re incapable of it now?"
Regardless of the answer, Noah wouldn’t treat Dobby any differently. He was asking out of curiosity, a somewhat crude curiosity. Because nowhere did he think about those who the answer would affect the most.
The question was not one that Alexandria was even expecting. Her expression showed just how shocked she was.
Wasn’t that the very same thing she had feared earlier?
The thought alone nearly caused her to question Dobby’s existence all over again.
Her gaze instinctively shifted toward him. Yet even now, Dobby still carried that same serene smile.
And somehow, that only made the fear twisting inside her chest even worse.
Because Noah might have been right.
But Alexandria didn’t want him to be.
"No," she suddenly spoke before she fully realized it herself. "Dobby isn’t like that, he’s-"
Before she could continue defending him, Dobby quietly stepped forward, placing himself between her and Noah.
Alexandria stared at his back dazedly.
Even now, while Noah questioned his emotions and existence, Dobby’s first instinct had still been to ease Alexandria’s distress before addressing himself.
The fear twisting inside her chest weakened slightly.
Dobby barely turned to look back at Alexandria. Yet his small smile was gone.
"There is truth within what he says," he openly admitted, giving way to a shock that was more catastrophic to Alexandria than anything else she’s experienced thus far.
"My thoughts, my feelings, are no longer my own... It’s filled with everyone around me. That, I can no longer control."
His hand slowly rested over his chest.
"At times, my own feelings feel distant beneath them."
Alexandria’s expression tightened again.
But before she could speak, Dobby continued.
"However..."
For the first time since awakening, the mana surrounding him shifted slightly.
Noah’s expression changed when he noticed the markings beginning to glow with a pale silver light identical to his eyes.
Then the fog-like haze coating his eye suddenly brightened.
Then brighter. Until the cloudiness itself transformed into an intense silver light that shined from within his eyes.
Noah immediately understood what was happening.
Dobby wasn’t suppressing the overwhelming emotions inside him anymore.
The hatred, grief, fear, regret, and countless lingering emotions he absorbed from others rushed together through his Calamity Vessel skill, strengthening both his mana and spiritual presence at once.
The pressure spilling from him became suffocatingly heavy. His aura carried all of the emotions he was burdened with. Those around them were not spared from being affected.
Alexandria, for the first time, got a true glimpse of the burden Dobby has been carrying all this time. Yet somehow, Dobby continued carrying all of it without resentment, his mind remaining unchanged beneath it all.
That was what he was trying to convey.
These emotions existed within him, but they were not him.
And the moment he stopped restraining everything, the self hidden beneath those burdens finally became visible again.
The silver light shining from Dobby’s eyes no longer felt distant or empty.
When Alexandria looked back into those eyes, she could now feel the warmth behind them.
They were painfully sincere... and equally heavy.
Meanwhile, Noah’s eyes looked more eager than before. The small amount of power that Dobby was showcasing wasn’t enough to stir him or his main creatures in any capacity.
However, what Dobby was displaying now proved beyond a doubt that he was perfect for the soul Noah possessed.
In fact, Noah was struggling to hold himself back from interrupting Dobby, forcing him into becoming a Fallen right then and there.
Noah’s fingers twitched faintly at his side.
He couldn’t control it. His very being was itching to create perfection.
It was only when Dobby was certain that the last bit of doubt about his identity was no longer being questioned by Alexandria that he undid his ability.
He returned to his serene persona as he stared at Noah unblinkingly.
"The ones who seek the truth are usually devoid of judgment. Yet their actions are frequently mistaken for evil. "
The words sounded almost detached from the conversation itself.
If not for the fact that Dobby was staring directly at Noah, it would have seemed as though he were simply speaking to the air.
Noah’s eyes flashed faintly as he processed those words.
It was rare for anyone to speak so openly toward him.
Most creatures either feared him too much to question him or blindly accepted everything he did without truly trying to understand the reasoning behind it.
Ailetta and Bolas were two of the few exceptions.
And now... Dobby.
The others around Noah trusted him just as deeply, perhaps even more so, but their relationships with him had been built differently from the start.
Fenrir would always view Noah as his Alpha before anything else. Hierarchy came first, respect second, and personal attachment last.
Arachne’s feelings toward Noah had long since become deeply personal, yet she was still learning how to properly understand those emotions herself, let alone express them openly.
And Eve...
Their relationship had never been equal from the beginning. Noah had entered her life as someone she depended on long before she ever learned how to stand beside him normally.
For some reason, Noah found conversations with those kinds of individuals strangely refreshing.
"I’m curious where that knowledge of yours comes from."
"Pain is a harsh lesson, yet it is the best teacher." Noah noticed a melancholy radiating from the cat as the cat’s head lowered.
"Their pain... their burdens... I do not treat them as such. I am who I am because of who they are. I know what I know because I question what they deny."
Noah didn’t have anything to say. And neither did Dobby.
Suddenly, the two began to move towards each other as if they had rehearsed it.
When they reached each other. Noah slowly raised his hand towards his chest as he began retrieving the shaman’s soul from his Eye.
"Let’s hope we can continue this conversation."