Chapter 376: 376 — Losing You Terrified Me

Ren turned away.

"Actually, it wouldn’t have mattered."

The omega’s words struck Zayden harder than any blade he had ever been stabbed by.

"You would have looked the other way regardless. Because you don’t trust people who break your trust twice, right?" His voice cracked.

Ren’s fingers tightened around the shirt Zayden had changed him into.

Freshly washed clothes.

They smelled like Zayden.

They were his.

"You wanted me to suffer."

Zayden stared at him. For a moment, he looked genuinely stunned, his jaw dropping.

"What?" His voice came out barely above a whisper. Then his brows furrowed further.

"You think I wanted this?" A tremor ran through his voice. "You think I wanted you to be hurt?"

The hurt in his eyes was impossible to hide.

"Of all people, Ren..." His jaw tightened, the veins in his throat twitching. "Of everyone in this world, you believe I would want to see you suffer? Really?..." The harshness vanished from his voice.

Only pain remained.

And somehow, seeing that expression made something inside Ren ache.

Because only then did he realize that Zayden looked almost as broken as he felt.

Silence settled between them.

It stretched for so long that Ren could hear the faint crackling of the fireplace at the left side of the room. Neither of them seemed willing to move. Neither of them knew what to say.

Eventually, Ren parted his lips.

"Weren’t you angry that I lied to you? Then why are you being kind to me now?" His voice was quiet, but the question had been lingering in his mind ever since he woke up.

At first, he had been relieved when Zayden appeared in that dungeon. Seeing the alpha cut through those men and wrap him in his clothes had made him believe everything would return to normal.

But the more he thought about it, the more frightened he became.

Saving him did not mean forgiving him.

Bringing him here did not mean trusting him.

The alpha was momentarily blinded by rage and love. He had certainly forgotten their current situation.

However, what if Zayden remembered everything tomorrow? What if someone showed him more evidence? What if he looked at Ren and saw nothing but a liar again?

The thought made Ren’s chest tighten painfully.

And there was another matter. A far bigger one.

By now, the entire empire must know.

Everyone must have learned where he came from. Everyone must have learned that he had ties to Hianshu. The nobles, the ministers, the soldiers, the citizens—surely they all wanted him dead.

Ren lowered his gaze.

"Everyone in Revhara probably hates me now. Mostly Miss Hannah... Her son. I must have been the one who killed him—or the reason behind his death somehow." The words slipped out before he could stop them. 𝘧𝑟𝑒𝑒𝘸𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝓁.𝘤𝘰𝓂

Zayden’s expression immediately changed.

"Do you think that is what I care about right now?" he asked.

Ren blinked, startled by the sudden sharpness in his voice.

The alpha ran a hand through his hair before letting out a long, exhausted sigh.

"For days, I kept telling myself that I had done the right thing. Every piece of evidence pointed toward your guilt. Every person around me insisted you were a spy. Even now, there are questions I don’t have answers to."

Then, his voice grew quieter. "But no matter how many times I tried to convince myself that you had deceived me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you."

Ren froze.

Zayden laughed bitterly.

"I couldn’t eat properly. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw your face. Every time I walked through the palace, I expected you to appear from around a corner. I was so angry that I wanted to forget you, but the more I tried, the more I remembered." His jaw tightened.

A pause followed. Only the sound of their breathing was heard in the quietness.

"I remembered the way you smiled whenever Eiran did something ridiculous. I remembered how you always worried about everyone except yourself. I remembered every stupid conversation we ever had."

The alpha’s eyes slowly met Ren’s.

"And I hated myself because none of it matched the image everyone was trying to force into my head."

Ren felt his throat tighten. Tears welled up in his eyes. He simply thought Zayden had been angry at him. But he didn’t expect the man to be furious at himself more. And overall, suffering like this.

"Zayden..."

"I am still angry," the alpha admitted.

The confession hurt, but Ren couldn’t look away.

"I am angry that you lied to me. I am angry that you carried all of this alone and never trusted me enough to tell me the truth. I repeatedly told you—it’s alright. You can tell me anything, but you chose to wait. And I, unknown to your reasons, had no choice but to doubt you. Which I still do. I can’t ignore everything just because I love you."

A painful smile appeared on his lips.

The omega’s chest tightened. His breath caught in his throat. It felt like a sharp knife had been struck into it, making him unable to speak, to interrupt the alpha.

"But my anger doesn’t erase how I feel about you." His hand slowly reached for Ren’s. "You asked why I am being kind to you."

The alpha lowered his gaze for a moment before continuing.

"Because when I saw you in that dungeon, I realized that no matter how furious I was, no matter how betrayed I felt, the thought of losing you terrified me far more."

After a long time, Ren found himself unable to answer. Because there was no lie in Zayden’s eyes.

Only hurt.

Only love.

And perhaps that was what made everything so much more painful.

A tear slipped from Ren’s eyes.

A love so strong.

He never thought he deserved it.

"However, I am willing to listen to your side of the story. And this time, no lies. Please," Zayden gently lifted the omega’s hand, pressing a soft kiss on the back.