Conversation During the Wait

I pressed my lips into a straight line and glanced cautiously at Ricardo.

But Ricardo gave me no reaction. He only looked straight at me and waited for my answer.

I rolled my eyes around desperately, ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) like I was trying to find a lifeline.

But neither Sophia nor Ami looked like they had any intention of helping me.

If anything, the two who had clearly been slouching moments ago were now sitting upright, staring at me just like Ricardo.

Even Yun, who had been looking out the window with his arms crossed, turned his gaze to study my face.

I bit my lip, then answered reluctantly.

“It’s not that I doubted the fact that you seniors care about me.”

“You shouldn’t dodge the question....”

Ricardo said it quietly.

It was scary.

“Did I ask that~?”

“No.”

I answered immediately.

Then I glanced nervously at the other Badgers again. Honestly, I had hoped they would more or less forget what happened last night because of the emergency.

The part where I spoke into empty air to Kyle, and even Kyle’s actual appearance—I had hoped all of it would get buried under everything else and fade away.

But it didn’t seem like things would slide by that easily.

When do I get to go stand watch?

I flicked my eyes toward the stairs.

“But I really wanted to say that.”

“Hilde, have you really been thinking like that this whole time?”

Ami asked quietly.

“How have you even been living while thinking things like that?”

I looked at Ami in confusion.

I didn’t really understand the question. What was there to ask about how I’d been living?

I didn’t think this was paranoid thinking.

There were definitely Badgers who truly hated me.

Especially those who had followed Richard Green.

That was only natural.

Some of them may have felt betrayed by me. I had desperately tried to save their sworn enemy.

If anything, there might even be people who hated me more precisely because they had trusted me.

As I fidgeted with my fingers, trying to figure out how to organize this pile of thoughts and explain it properly—

Ricardo spoke before I could even open my mouth.

“There wasn’t anyone in that war who fought with everything they had as much as you did.... Who has any right to resent you~?”

“No, they absolutely have the right.”

I refuted him reflexively.

“Isn’t it natural, in a way, for feelings of resentment to arise? After fighting so desperately, I still ended up letting the enemy go in the very last moment.”

“So what if you did?”

This time Ami asked.

“In war, people don’t try to exterminate every enemy either. Why do you think prisoners exist? Don’t think stupid thoughts, Hilde!”

“I don’t regret my decision to let Kyle go either. But....”

“I don’t resent you.”

Sophia suddenly said.

I turned my gaze toward her.

Then I blankly looked into the eyes of the senior with the short hair.

Her voice was husky as always.

“I resent that you all brought the Creatures here. But I do not resent the fact that you let him go at the very end.”

I stared into the eyes of the third-generation Badger whose expression rarely showed much.

A beat later, I answered.

“Thank you.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Why?”

Did my voice crack a little?

I heard Ricardo let out a sigh. I didn’t dare look at his expression.

Sophia answered.

“Because I simply don’t feel resentment.”

“But why....”

Why?

I had heard she had been right there when Richard Green died.

I’d also heard that Carl, Sophia, and Ro had witnessed it directly. I think Ami had been beside them too.

Which meant most of this squad had watched Richard’s death happen.

And yet....

“We won because of you.”

Sophia said.

“If it weren’t for you, there would have been far more deaths. I might have died right then myself. So what right do I have to resent you?”

“I don’t think that kind of feeling is unfair.”

“It is unfair. If they were going to be that angry at you, then they should have stepped up and killed him themselves.”

The senior spoke cynically, lifting one eyebrow.

Sitting on top of her backpack, she rested one leg over her thigh.

“Does it make sense to be furious because someone else didn’t do what you yourself couldn’t accomplish?”

I shut my mouth into a straight line.

“Don’t you think that’s a feeling wildly out of proportion?”

I had never thought that.

If anything, I had always considered it a natural emotion humans couldn’t control.

In the face of someone’s death, people stop being rational.

Just like Kyle and so many others had.

So I wanted to explain properly that it was only natural for people to resent me.

But no precise words came to mind.

Without saying anything, I only looked at the senior with her arms crossed.

In my peripheral vision, I could see the siblings.

Yun was watching me indifferently, while Ami was looking down at the floor with a sad face.

Ami muttered,

“I hate Kyle.”

Well, obviously.

“But I still want Hilde to get along with Kyle.”

I stared straight into Ami’s round eyes.

In a subdued voice, she mumbled,

“Hilde, you really, really want to make up with Kyle.”

I thought I had already given up on that desire to a reasonable extent.

“Even after that crazy guy, broken by his friend’s death, exposed your past like that, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate him in the end. That’s why you kept talking into empty air, wasn’t it?”

I froze, unable to say anything.

I had no idea what I was supposed to answer.

As I stayed stiff and speechless, Ami lifted her head and looked at me.

Her brows drooped as she murmured,

“At least in front of us, I wish you wouldn’t watch yourself so much.”

“...Thank you.”

“And if I were you, I don’t think I could let Kyle go either! When I try replacing that with Yehyeon oppa, I seriously start tearing up. If Yehyeon oppa ever acted like that thing, I could never do what you did. I’d be so sad I’d die halfway through.”

“You replaced Yehyeon with Kyle? That substitution feels extremely wrong, though.”

I said it reflexively.

I knew that wasn’t what she really meant, but I couldn’t help myself.

I understood what Ami was trying to say.

But something in my brain just violently rejected that comparison....

“You really only understand when people spell it out, so I’ll say it too~.... I’ve never once resented you for some ridiculous reason like that either~.”

Ricardo’s drawling voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I turned to look at him.

The green-eyed senior was sitting cross-legged on his backpack.

After studying his neat face, I answered,

“Thank you, Rick.”

“This bastard....”

What?

Why was he mad when I thanked him?

As I leaned my upper body back in confusion, Ricardo furrowed his brow and muttered,

“You don’t even believe it, and you’re trying to smooth it over with words again....”

“Huh? No.”

I protested quickly.

“That’s not it. There’s no way I wouldn’t know that you care about me, Rick.”

“That strategist saying nonsense like ‘this time was faster’ must’ve made you think seven months is short.”

The senior said sharply.

“You think we’d resent someone who barely woke up after being unconscious for seven months for something like that?”

At that point, Yun switched the watch rotation.

Sophia traded places with Carl. The short-haired senior went downstairs, and the masked senior joined the resting group.

I was so grateful Yun had stepped in.

I hoped the conversation would just end here and we’d all move.

But unfortunately, things didn’t go that smoothly.

Not much time had passed yet, and the water level wasn’t rising as fast as expected.

According to Carl, even the third floor still wasn’t completely flooded.

It would apparently still take some time before the water reached the fifth floor.

“Why do you look kind of disappointed?”

The blue-eyed senior asked curiously, but I played dumb.

“Huh? No way. Not at all.”

The seniors rolled their eyes at me.

The interrupted conversation resumed.

I really didn’t want to keep talking about this topic anymore.

But Ricardo brought up the seven months I had spent in a coma again.

I looked around nervously and made an excuse.

“Sometimes I forget that I was asleep for that long. I’m sorry.”

“A lot of Badgers died in action too. But you were practically one step away from dying yourself, Hilde.”

Ami said.

“So resenting you for that would be seriously unfair!”

I’m grateful they think that way.

I gave the seniors a faint smile.

“Thank you.”

“Your heart isn’t even fully healed yet.... Ah, now I’m suddenly mad! Once we get back, I’m wrapping you up in blankets and ordering Lexic noodles for you nonstop!”

“Really?”

That actually sounds nice.

“As long as I have Lexic noodles, I’ll be happy.”

“First of all.... once we get back, you need counseling~.”

“I’ll think about it.”

I gave an awkward smile and rubbed the back of my neck.

“I’m sorry for making you worry. But I’m actually doing pretty well.”

“We’ll look into this cross-dimensional bond of yours properly once we get back.”

Yun, who had been silent until now, suddenly joined the conversation.

Thinking that sounded exactly like him, I turned my head—

and Yun suddenly looked at Ricardo and said,

“The type like this won’t tell the counselor what’s really inside, even if he goes.”

Instead of answering, Ricardo let out a sigh.

“Just keep an eye on him. Every time one of these cross-dimensional encounters happens, his condition looks like it’s going to swing wildly too.”

“I’ve been gaming, reading books, and living like a normal person.”

It’s not like I threw up everything I ate.

Though at this rate I might not even be able to hold someone’s hand again.

Feeling like everyone was being overly protective, I offered a mild protest.

“If I were really that severe, wouldn’t the Personnel Director have stopped my reinstatement?”

Instead of replying, Yun gave a derisive snort.

With dry eyes, he looked me up and down.

“Before that ghost-like connection gets severed, we need to reduce your self-loathing a bit.”

I blinked once.

“The link might disappear once both your heart wound and the other side’s heart wound heal. There’s absolutely no basis for it—it’s just my delusion.”

Huh?

My heart throbbed.

I couldn’t tell whether it was because of the thought that the connection might disappear, or if my heart was literally hurting.

Come to think of it, I hadn’t taken my morning heart medication.

Well, of course. I hadn’t eaten breakfast.

It didn’t look like we’d be eating before the drone arrived.

Is it okay to take this on an empty stomach?

“Hilde.”

“Yes?”

“Explain this cross-dimensional encounter.”

Yun said.

“And while you’re at it, explain why you were talking into empty air.”

I really didn’t want to explain the second part.

So I stretched out the first explanation as long and detailed as possible.

I recalled the time I had that dream where my spirit left my body and flew into Kyle’s world, then explained it carefully.

What time I slept, what time I took my medicine, what condition my heart was in....

While I was explaining all of that, the watch rotation changed several times.

The sound came while Ami was on watch.

“Water!”

Ami shouted as she ran up the stairs.

“It’s filled all the way to the end of the fourth floor!”

We all jumped to our feet.

30 minutes left until the drone arrived.

At this rate, there was a high chance the place would flood before it got here.

Following the manual, we turned to run for the rooftop, ready to abandon our bags.

That was when Ami shouted,

“And that thing—it’s the Han River monster!”

Hm?

“There’s a Han River monster! A Han River monster!”

What is a Han River monster?