Taesan’s POV

Immediately I pick my pen again, Yuki bursts into my office with a scowl on her face and I sigh; I am not interested in dealing with another emotional person.

The only true control I have, Seoha, is out of reach, I am capable of doing anything.

"I got a call from Sooin’s school" she says rudely and I growl, sitting up at the mention of my daughter.

"What about Sooin?" I ask and she folds her arms.

"It’s like fucking Jaemin all over again, she isn’t talking to anyone and is hiding her face in class" Yuki says and I shut my eyes.

Fuck.

Fuck, I didn’t want to involve my pup in anything like this, but here I am.

This was exactly why I never got interested in dating anyone else after Jaemin left, not because I’m a monk, but because of her heart.

I get out of my seat and pick up my important things, my phone, my lighter and my pack of cigarettes.

"Get Junho" I order and Yuki winces, "he’s not here right now, he took that crazy pregnant person home" she says and I give a curt nod.

"I’ll go myself" I say and Yuki stops me, grabbing my arm, "Captain, you can’t go alone with how you are right now" she says and I growl at her, a small warning.

"I’m sorry" she whispers and steps back, bowing her head.

"Don’t stand in my way, Yuki, you know better than to do that" I say and leave the office.

I have never gone to her school alone, always keeping the distance, I know there are people watching my secret life and movements.

There are people seeking to take home details they can attack me with, this...this is the life I want to put an end to.

’Are you strong enough?’ my alpha asks and I don’t give an answer.

Am I strong enough? Yes.

Do I have the power? Yes.

Do I have the authority? No. And this is the advantage my grandfather has over me, he still owns the ultimate throne as the lord of the clan.

I get into my car and just as I am about to start the engine, I see Junho driving in with his Chevrolet, he doesn’t look happy.

"Sooin’s school" he says after parking and coming to my car, leaning in to talk to me.

"I know" I say flatly.

"Damn it, I want to strangle you" he hisses at me and I don’t respond, he opens the door of the passenger seat and gets in.

I drive us recklessly down the road to my daughter’s school, unready to see her tears, this morning was painful.

I didn’t sleep through the night, the sleeplessness is back, the anxiety and the fucking thoughts are all back...there is no vanilla to keep them back.

When morning finally came, I went to check Sooin’s room, hoping that the whiff of her safe scent will ease some of the anxiety, but she wasn’t there.

She was sitting at the foot of Seoha’s bed, her thumb was in her mouth, and her eyes were heavy with sleep, she didn’t cry but I knew what she was feeling.

’Where is mommy?’ she had asked for her mother after Jaemin left, this time around, she’s not asking.

Fuck...my daughter is choosing to keep it to herself, I’m a failure.

"Focus" Junho yells as the car almost skids off the road, and I tighten my grip on the car, gaining control of the vehicle quickly as my scent gets more sour.

"Fuck" I curse, it’s the only thing I can say, the pain in my neck is gone, but a new pain has started...in my heart.

I should have never gotten close, I never should have let the line blur, I never should...have fallen in love.

"It won’t kill you to bring him back" Junho says as if he’s reading my thoughts, and my defense kicks in.

"His parents killed..."

"His parents, not him, you bastard" Junho says angrily, cutting me off, tired of me.

"Watch it" I warn him, wanting him to just stay away and keep his fucking distance.

"No, you watch it, damn it, you deserve hell!" Junho says and I just keep driving, forcing my head to stay cool.

"I dodged a bullet when you didn’t love me back, didn’t I?" he asks.

"You did, didn’t you?" I ask in an unrecognizable voice, struggling with myself, and I hold the wheels tighter.

I won’t get the both of us killed in an accident, no, Sooin needs us.

"Seoha loves you, he’s stupid for that, but it’s real, you have been nothing but a monster to him, but he chose you" Junho says and I bring the car to a hard stop.

He grunts as our bodies fall forward, held back only by the seatbelt.

"Stop talking about things you don’t understand" I say and he nods tersely before getting out of the car.

I let out a hard breath...no one knows how it haunts me, seeing him pressed against the wall, eyes wide with fear, like he’s looking at a beast.

It haunts me...but if I don’t let him go, won’t he end up like mom did?

Grandfather already knows about him, which means he will soon be bait, or he is already bait.

The car door opens after a while and my daughter is placed in my lap, she wraps her arms around my neck immediately, hiding her face in my neck.

I force my pheromones to become calm, subduing the harsh part for her.

"Hi, Princess" I say softly and she starts to sob, it’s soft and quiet, like she doesn’t want anyone to know.

"Princess" I whisper and she sniffles, "daddy is not coming back?" she asks in the most painful voice.

I break.

I can’t, I can’t fucking do this, my alpha reaches through our mating bond for the omega we kicked away.

’Your pup needs you’ I am desperate to call, but as soon as I feel him perking up, I shut off the link.

No. I won’t involve him again.