Irina’s POV

The warm yellow light of the desk lamp violently spilled across my open notebook.

Mrs. Hughes was talking. Her soft, polite voice completely filled the quiet study. She was explaining some complex literature concepts. I nodded automatically. I stared blankly at the words on the page. I held my expensive pen so tightly my knuckles turned entirely white.

But I wasn’t listening. Not at all.

My mind was completely miles away. It was deeply lost in a heavy, dark forest. It was entirely wrapped around one specific man.

Nicholas.

I couldn’t stop thinking about our last moment together. I closed my eyes for a split second. The memory violently crashed over me. It was so vivid. It was completely overwhelming.

I had kissed him.

Right before he walked out of that massive door to face a literal war, I pulled him down. I pressed my lips completely against his. I felt the rough, masculine stubble on his strong jaw. I tasted the dark, heavy mint and pure danger on his tongue. He had completely frozen. The big, terrifying Alpha King had absolutely frozen under my delicate touch.

And then, he kissed me back.

He kissed me like he was entirely starving. He kissed me like I was his absolute lifeline in a dark, cruel world. His large, rough hands had held my face so incredibly gently. It broke my heart all over again.

My heart hammered violently against my ribs just thinking about it. A hot, heavy flush instantly crept up my neck.

I gripped the pen even harder. The dark ink completely bled into the crisp white paper.

I love him.

The sudden, absolute realization hit me like a massive freight train. It completely knocked the breath out of my lungs. I love Nicholas. I really, truly love him. My inner wolf softly purred at the sudden admission. She had completely known it for forever. She had never given up on our mate. I was just too entirely stubborn to admit it to myself.

But loving him wasn’t simple. It was completely terrifying.

We had so much dark, heavy history. There was so much agonizing pain heavily sitting between us. We had violently broken each other so many times in the past. The massive misunderstandings. The absolute betrayal. The running.

How could I just look him in his glowing golden eyes and easily say it? How could I just pretend the horrific past didn’t violently happen? I didn’t know how to act. I didn’t know how to completely face him when he finally came back.

*If* he came back.

A sharp pang of pure, suffocating fear violently stabbed my chest. He had to come back. He absolutely had to survive this.

I slowly dropped the heavy pen. My trembling hand drifted down. I gently rested my warm palm against my lower stomach. It was still perfectly flat. But I could completely feel the tiny, warm spark of life deep inside me. The mate bond violently hummed around it.

His baby. Our baby.

I wanted this baby. I wanted it so fiercely it physically hurt my chest.

When I first found out I was pregnant again, I was completely terrified. I was a massive wreck. I cried myself to sleep. But now? The absolute thought of holding a tiny, perfect pup made my heart completely melt. I imagined a little baby with his dark, messy hair and my soft eyes. I desperately wanted to give birth to this beautiful child. I wanted to see Nicholas gently hold our tiny baby in his massive, scarred arms.

A heavy, hot tear violently escaped my eye. It slid quickly down my cheek.

My thoughts instantly shifted to Luka. My sweet, perfect, innocent little boy. A crushing wave of intense guilt completely suffocated me.

Luka had suffered so incredibly much. I had violently dragged him around for years. We lived in absolute fear. We slept in tiny, freezing apartments. We shared incredibly cheap, stale food. We completely ran from every single shadow.

I thought I was entirely protecting him. But I just gave him a completely unstable, terrifying childhood. He was just a tiny, innocent pup. He didn’t deserve that wandering, miserable life. He was constantly exhausted. He was always worried about his mother. It was completely unfair to him.

He deserved the absolute best.

He deserved this massive, beautiful, secure house. He deserved a warm, incredibly safe bed. He deserved a fiercely protective father who was a literal King. Nicholas would completely burn the entire world down to keep Luka perfectly safe. I entirely knew that now. Nicholas loved Luka with his whole, dark heart.

I wanted to give my children the absolute perfect life. I wanted to finally stop running away. I wanted to just be a real family.

"Luna?"

A soft, polite cough violently snapped me out of my deep, emotional thoughts.

I jumped aggressively in my comfortable chair. My head instantly snapped up.

Mrs. Hughes was completely looking at me. She had a gentle, knowing smile on her heavily wrinkled face. She had completely stopped reading from her textbook.

"Oh, God," I gasped out. I quickly wiped the wet tear from my hot cheek. My face instantly burned with absolute embarrassment. "I am so incredibly sorry, Mrs. Hughes. I was completely spacing out. My mind was just... everywhere."

The older woman just chuckled softly. Her eyes were full of absolute warmth. She started completely stacking her heavy textbooks. "It is entirely fine, my dear. You have a massive amount on your plate. A heavily growing baby, a deeply mated Alpha away at a violent war. It is completely understandable to be distracted."

"I really didn’t mean to entirely ignore you," I apologized again. I felt completely awful. She was an amazing teacher. Nicholas had specially hired the absolute best for me. He completely arranged everything for my comfort before he left.

"Please don’t worry about it," she said warmly. She grabbed her thick leather bag. "You look completely exhausted. You are pushing yourself too hard. Let’s just stop right here for tonight. We will pick up right where we left off tomorrow evening."

"Thank you so much," I breathed out. A heavy wave of relief entirely washed over me.

I stood up from the desk. I slowly walked her toward the heavy wooden door of the study. The massive hallways of the house were completely quiet. It was incredibly late. The guards were mostly patrolling outside the thick walls. The warm lights cast long, heavy shadows on the polished floor.

"Have a very good night, Luna. Please get some proper rest," Mrs. Hughes smiled gently.

"Good night, Mrs. Hughes. Drive completely safe," I replied softly.

I watched her walk entirely down the long, carpeted corridor until she turned the corner. I let out a heavy, incredibly tired sigh. I leaned my back completely against the wooden doorframe.

My intense emotional exhaustion was physically weighing me down. My bones actually ached. I just wanted to crawl straight into my massive, empty bed. I desperately wanted to bury my face deep in Nicholas’s pillow. I wanted to completely surround myself with his dark, heavy scent of pine and rain.

I turned my head to walk back toward my bedroom.

I completely froze.

A tall, incredibly broad figure was standing completely silently in the shadows near my bedroom door.

It was Roman.

Nicholas’s Beta. His absolute right-hand man.

He was leaning heavily against the cold stone wall. His massive, muscular arms were tightly crossed over his broad chest. His face was completely unreadable in the dim, yellow light. His jaw was entirely clenched tight.

What was he doing all the way up here? He completely respected my privacy. He rarely ever came to the residential wing at this hour unless there was a massive emergency.

Did something violently happen? Was there sudden news from the bloody front lines? Did something terrible happen to Nicholas?

My heart completely stopped in my chest. Pure, absolute panic aggressively gripped my tight throat. I couldn’t even breathe.

Roman suddenly noticed me completely staring at him. His massive body immediately stiffened. He quickly dropped his thick arms to his sides.

He didn’t say a single word. He didn’t even completely acknowledge me. He just turned sharply on his heavy combat boots. He immediately started walking violently away down the opposite end of the dark hallway. He was trying to completely avoid me. He was practically running away.

That wasn’t right. Roman never avoided me.

"Roman!" I called out quickly. My trembling voice lightly echoed in the quiet hall.

He stopped dead in his tracks. His broad back was completely rigid. His massive shoulders were violently tense. But he didn’t turn around to completely face me.

I took a deep, shaky breath. I absolutely needed to know what was going on. I stepped away from the study and walked straight toward him. My heart was completely pounding in my ears.

"Roman, can we talk?"