Lucien’s POV

The room fell into a silent beat. Ronan arched his brow at me and didn’t say a word. He reached for the glass of scotch beside him. I beat him to it, of course.

I grabbed the glass and then walked across the room to grab a small chair from the bar. We were going to have a long conversation, and I didn’t plan on squatting the entire time. Ronan’s gaze followed me the entire time.

He was always the hardest person to read. No matter how I tried, I could never figure out what was going on in his mind. I sat before him and downed the glass. The alcohol burned my throat. I placed the glass on the floor with a gentle clank.

"Sorry for your loss. Raphael didn’t deserve to die that way," I said. "It’s a shame, but on the bright side, you can permanently get rid of Natalia. Surprisingly, you stayed married this long." I shrugged. My mind drifted to Natasha, wondering what her fate might be after this.

Ronan was still wearing the shirt from earlier. His gaze was locked on me like he was searching for something. Next, a deep chuckle filled the room. The low tone sounded a bit eerie. I stared at him, dumbfounded, wondering if he had truly lost his goddamn mind.

Ronan was still laughing, and my frown deepened. "Don’t tell me you’ve lost your mind," I sneered. "I don’t want my children to go through the trauma of having an insane grandparent. Don’t expect us to visit you... Better yet, I’ll just say you are a distant uncle."

Ronan’s laugh stopped immediately, and he shot me a harsh glare. "You are an annoying prick. I don’t have the energy for you now," he groaned. "Even if you don’t like Raphael, give him some respect and allow me to mourn."

My lips twitched as I looked at him. "For starters, you were the one who said I can come whenever. Do you think I like seeing your face?" I started counting on my fingers.

"Second, I can’t hate the dead. He didn’t kill my mother. And lastly, don’t blame me for being annoying. Now we clearly know where the trait comes from." I listed, watching his stoic face go through several emotions.

"So how about we go through why I am here. I need the truth about my mother. Lynn is waiting for me at home," I stated. Staying here was a bit depressing. Ronan leaned against the wall and then released a heavy breath.

He was staring aimlessly at the ceiling, as if trying to go back to memory lane. "It’s been a long time. I might not remember the detailed details because for the past 29 years I have been trying to forget her, but I can’t..." he muttered.

"We met years ago in a coastal town abroad. I was handling an overseas project, and I met your mother for the first time, seriously injured, washed ashore unconscious..." There was a small smile on his face when he thought of her.

"It wasn’t love at first sight, but it felt perfect..." his voice trailed off. "After she was found, I took her to the nearest hospital, and days later, after being unconscious, she finally woke up. I went to the hospital immediately after I got the call. I wasn’t a saint, but from the moment I saw her on that beach, something drew me to her..."

A silent beat passed. The same distant look filled his eyes. "When she woke up, she couldn’t remember a thing aside from her name, Nadia." The way he called her name carried a weight I couldn’t measure.

He laughed as if remembering something. "Now I think about it, she was running from something and, by chance, hid her identity. I don’t know for sure, but her amnesia act was flawless. After she died, I looked into Nadia. It turned out the reason she was on that beach was because of a failed assassination attempt. She probably wanted to hide her identity while recovering..."

My gaze darkened. Yelena never told me that. The topic of Nadia was like a taboo before her, but knowing the Orlovs, I understood what Ronan was trying to say. Mum might have hidden her identity while she was recovering, or she had her reasons for wanting to stay with Ronan.

"Because she lost her memories, I let her stay with me. She was completely clueless and couldn’t do a thing. It felt like I was staying with a child at a point, but it made my place warm knowing clumsy Nadia was there." He laughed. I wondered how she was back then.

"There was a time she nearly caused a fire hazard because she wanted to make me dinner after I came back drunk from a business negotiation. Luckily, I wasn’t completely wasted, and the fire didn’t get out of hand. After that, I dared not get drunk again."

His expression changed for a second. I knew he couldn’t say everything, but from the way he spoke, I was certain he loved her.

"We didn’t fall in love after a magic moment. Before we knew it, we were so deeply in love, and there was no escape. She confessed first on the same beach I found her. She was so nervous that night, and for a moment I didn’t believe my ears because I was long in love with her, with an obsessive desperation. I was scared to accept it. She was someone without a past, and my future was arranged from birth..."

A tear rolled down his cheek, and his fist clenched. "I was scared of how much I loved her, but the more I resisted, the deeper I fell. So when she confessed, it took everything in me to reject her. Then she cried and ran off..."

"Her tears broke me. Nadia got lost that night. I was so anxious searching for her. When I found her the next day, she cried and said she wanted to leave because she couldn’t help falling deeper. I broke down at that moment and decided to give in, even if it wasn’t forever. I kissed her, and that was the beginning of our love story... or rather, the peak of it..."

"It was the best days of my life, and I never wanted it to end. I wanted Nadia to be the one by my side, so I decided to go home and tell my parents. What I didn’t expect was an arranged marriage. I tried fighting it, but it was clear the more I fought, the more dangerous it would be for Nadia..." he paused, then dragged himself to his feet.

He walked towards the glass windows. Outside was coated in white. "Breaking up with Nadia was the hardest decision I made. I tried to make her understand, and I thought she did. I knew Natalia before the arranged engagement and knew Nadia, who didn’t have any memory or backing, wouldn’t stand a chance. Nadia cried, but she accepted. I thought she understood..."

He sighed, pressing his head against the glass. "What I had no idea was that she was pregnant with you. If I did, I would have fought or even disappeared with Nadia, but I didn’t know. The worst day of my life was when she showed up on my wedding day with Gregor. Before then, I had heard rumours of my father’s pregnant mistress..."

"It was her, and she already had a little bump. I thought it was mine. Honestly, I confronted Nadia. Her eyes were filled with venom as she claimed it wasn’t mine. The baby was conceived after we broke up..." Ronan pressed his eyes shut as a tear slid down.

"God, I hated her." His voice trembled.

My chest felt tight, and I drew in a breath. "Why did she hide it?" I asked. "Why didn’t you fight for her if you loved her that much? You could have run away."

I asked because, if I were in a similar situation, I would have fought to the end.

He turned around, still leaning on the glass, bloodshot eyes meeting mine. "I thought I betrayed her. On the day I was told of the engagement, I thought I got drunk and, in that state, forced myself on Natalia..." he admitted. My heart clenched.

"I don’t even bloody remember the night details. I remembered being upset and taking a few drinks. Next, I woke up naked with Natalia. I couldn’t face your mother after defiling our love, so I let her go. What I never imagined was that Natalia had actually drugged me with sleeping pills and, with the help of my mother, forced herself on me..."

My eyes went wide. I could never have imagined it going that way.

"For years, I blamed myself until tonight. Natalia told me the truth. I never betrayed Nadia, but I was played by the ones I trusted. And my gut tells me Dad manipulated Nadia to lie that day she said you were his..."

He went silent for a moment before adding, "Because after that, Nadia always looked at me like she wanted to tell me something... but I was blinded by a love that had turned to thorns, and there was a distance that could never be bridged."