Drive me Wild, Rival(BL)

Chapter 36: The Guilt that would fade away

Drive me Wild, Rival(BL)

Chapter 36: The Guilt that would fade away

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Chapter 36: The Guilt that would fade away

Alaric

"See you in Bahrain."

Those words had been repeating in my head like a broken record ever since I left Nico’s apartment. No matter how hard I tried to push them away, they kept resurfacing, stubborn and unrelenting. Now that we were actually heading there in the team’s private jet, I did everything I could to shove the memory out of my mind.

The only person who could usually help me quiet my thoughts was Harold, but he had been avoiding my calls for days. I had been so immersed in practice sessions that I hadn’t even found the time to visit him at his home — the one place I had never been invited to before.

Dami sat right beside me in the wide cream leather seat, his shoulder occasionally brushing mine whenever the plane shifted slightly in the air. Sunlight streamed through the oval windows, catching on the polished walnut tables and the crystal water glasses. The scent of fresh coffee and warm pastries from the galley drifted through the space, but none of it could loosen the tight knot lodged deep in my chest.

Then my mother called. She was giving me advice I hadn’t asked for. I rolled my eyes as she mentioned safety for the umpteenth time.

"I know, Mum. I’ll be fine. I promise."

My mother’s face filled the screen, her expression soft but etched with that familiar worry she could never quite hide. She was in our family living room back in Monaco, the familiar cream walls and large windows visible behind her.

"You always say that, darling, but I need you to actually listen this time. Take care of yourself out there. Don’t push through pain like you did before. We’ll all be watching from home — every single lap. Catherine, Bastien... we’re so proud of you for coming back."

I nodded, keeping the smile fixed even as guilt twisted sharper inside me. "I hear you. I really do."

In the background of the call, voices suddenly rose. Catherine’s sharp, frustrated tone cut through first, followed immediately by Bastien’s deeper, angrier reply. The argument was muffled by distance but unmistakable.

I tensed.

Dami glanced sideways at me, sensing the shift, but stayed quiet for now.

"Is everything okay there?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

My mother sighed, rubbing her temple. "We just got back from the hospital a little while ago. The doctor kept pressing Bastien about starting physical therapy again, but he refused. He wouldn’t listen to me and kept saying he doesn’t want to walk again. He is devastated that even if he walks, he might not be able to become a Formula 1 racer like you..."

Before she could finish, Bastien’s voice exploded through the speaker, sounding annoyed and bitter. "I don’t need that shit! None of it would’ve happened if it wasn’t for him! He ruined my life and he doesn’t deserve to hear anything about me."

The words hit me hard in the chest. I closed my eyes for a second as the familiar wave of guilt crashed over me again. He was blaming me yet again for the accident, but he wasn’t wrong. If it weren’t for me, he would have never been in this situation. Two years had passed, and while I got to return to my career, he was bound to a wheelchair. He still couldn’t look at me without seeing the reason his life had fallen apart.

"Mum—" I started, opening my eyes again as I tried to come up with words that wouldn’t make Bastien even angrier. But then Dami leaned in closer, his face appearing fully on the screen beside mine.

He waved cheerfully, his easy smile cutting through the heavy tension. "Hello, Mrs. de Villier! How are you doing today?"

My mother’s expression softened instantly, the worry lines easing. "Dami, sweetheart! It’s so good to see you. Are you keeping my boy out of trouble up there?"

Dami laughed warmly. "Trying my best, ma’am. He’s stubborn, but I’m more stubborn. Trust that he is in good hands."

Before she could reply, Bastien suddenly pushed into the frame. The hard anger on his face melted the moment he saw Dami.

"Hey," Bastien said, lifting a hand in a small wave. "How are you doing, Dami?"

Dami waved back at him. "Hello Bastien, it’s been a while. Good to see you. How are you doing?"

Bastien wouldn’t stop smiling, which was shocking considering how rude he usually was toward me. "I am alright."

I watched the exchange in silence, my chest aching at the interaction. Bastien, who had just been screaming that everything was my fault, was speaking to Dami with a softness I hadn’t heard from him in years. His eyes were calmer and his posture relaxed.

It was the softest I had seen him in a long time.

Maybe it was due to the old crush he had for Dami or his admiration of him as a racer — I had no idea — but I was just glad that he was smiling for the first time in years.

Dami glanced at me quickly, then back at the screen. "You should really think about that physical therapy, yeah? I heard your mother mention it. It’ll make a big difference in the long run. And hey, I’m coming to visit when we get back to Monaco. We can grab something to eat, just chill. Sound good?"

Bastien hesitated for a few seconds, then gave a small nod. "I’ll be waiting."

Someone called their names in the background. My mother leaned back into view, looking tired but still smiling. "We have to go now. Take care of yourselves, both of you. And Alaric... please be safe out there. We love you."

I forced another smile. "Love you too, Mum."

I looked straight at my brother. "Bastien—"

The screen went black. He had ended the call without answering.

I heaved a deep sigh as I lowered the phone slowly, staring at the dark screen for a long moment. The guilt sat heavy in my stomach.

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