Xiran’s POV

She whimpered below me, her eyes are wide open at my sudden movement. I had definitely startled her but she had been playing with fire and now she was about to get burnt.

"I don’t know," she whispered back to me, looking flustered and trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"What type of answer is that? Be clear on what you desire. You are burning me and yourself. Stop doing that if you don’t want to take things further." I lowered my body, decreasing the distance between us. My lips were inches from hers, wanting to taste them, feel them, own them and mold them around mine. Wishing she would kiss me, just once.

She gazed into my eyes as they gleamed with emotions she held but never extended to me. She then tilted her head away from me, I felt like a tidal wave had washed over my burning desires. My heart screamed at her rejection again and my body shook in resentment. I let her go and climbed down from the top of her. Not saying anything. "Sorry," she mumbled understanding my reaction.

"It’s ok, try and sleep. I don’t want your fever spiking any further," I touched her face and felt it to be less warm than before. Maybe her fever was plummeting now. I lay down beside her, staring at her face but she didn’t touch me again. Instead, she rolled to the other side and faced away from me.

Why was she such a mystery? I didn’t understand why she had to blow me hot and cold. Will she ever open up to me and understand the effect she had on me? Right now I wanted to take her in my arms and make love to her but her rejection rendered me dejected. Slowly I placed my hand on her head and she didn’t complain or move away.

I could hear her heavy breathing after a while and a sense of relief washed over me, knowing at least she was asleep. My phone pinged and I took it out to see Rivan’s text. I opened the text and began to read.

He had his family doctor and he had consulted with him and apparently, the doctor had told him something interesting concerning elves. They bonded for life and after a certain age, if they find the person they want to bond with and deny the bond, they can have some mild or serious symptoms including headaches, body aches, fever, vomiting, and a whole list of other horrifying female stuff for female elves. My eyes almost popped out of my sockets reading all those feminine details. I stole a glance at her and wondered if she was experiencing something similar.

I read on in horror as the details went on and on about these bonding-for-life traits. And the fact that Elves were now even bonding with other races to survive extinction. All the symptoms mentioned were manifesting in her, besides she was way above the age limit now and was still a virgin.

Could it be?

Was she?

~NO~

I clutched my hair and pulled them in frustration as I tried to not make a sound or she might wake up. My hand fisted automatically and my knuckles turned white. I slowly took another glance at her and she slept peacefully near me.

Was it possible that she had bonded with me?

How did it even work between other species?

Was that the reason I found it hard to let her go?

Could it be the reason I felt attracted to her from the start?

Is that why she is always acting the way she does?

Does her body tingle as well when she touches me?

Was it possible that she was also in love with me? Or at least her heart was? Why was her mind so turmoiled?

It could explain her needing to get close to me and then changing her mind at the last second and rejecting my advances. Her body craved me, her heart wanted me and yet she didn’t want to be with me. Not even when she was suffering this much. She was trying to reject me but her heart was not letting her. At least some part of her wanted me.

Why was she torturing herself and me too in the process? I had a million questions and only she could answer them, but she refused to do so.

It baffled me, it pained me and it tortured me to think that she may never complete the bond that might exist between us.

Now that I knew the truth I would not show it to her or push her to tell me. She will do it on her own if she wanted to. I knew the more I would push more she will repel me. I will give her all the time she needed in the world if it meant we could be together.

I didn’t know if to feel ecstatic about the fact that she most probably bonded to me or dejected that she might reject me completely and choose someone else. Another possibility was that it might just be a misunderstanding and she was just sick.

But I knew in my bones that there was more than just simple feelings between us. It was so much more, something that we both didn’t understand. I was not a complete vampire and I didn’t know everything about my mother’s species. I wanted to believe that there was something special to our story.

Her behaviour today spoke volumes of what she wanted from me but couldn’t bring herself to do it, although I was ready to give her what she wanted. I would own her and bond with her in the blink of an eye if it meant easing her pain. Deep down I knew she would choose pain. I sighed.

Having read enough I put away my phone and moved closer to her. Wrapping her in my arms I hugged her tiny waist and spooned her. No matter what she chose in the future, right now I wanted her in my arms. I wanted no distance between us.

She purred lightly and turned towards me, without opening her eyes she buried her face in my chest and kissed me there, right above my heart, she returned my affections even in her sleep.

"Aselia..." I whispered and her eyes opened slightly.

"Xiran..." my name felt melodious on her tongue as she gaped at me. So many desires shimmered in her eyes, and she seemed to be in a trance.

"I am not worthy to be loved." She mumbled as if not knowing what she was uttering. This was not what I was expecting her to say.

"Why would you say something like that?" I placed my hand on her face and grazed her cheeks.

"Because I am a bad person. I hurt people, I hurt you." She blinked at me, trying to hold off her emotions. "Stop loving me." Her words were like a venomous snake that bit my heart. The poisonous effect rendered my heart weak. Not only did she hurt me she hurt herself too because I saw her grimace in pain that must have rippled through her body.

I placed my fingers on her trembling lips, she shuddered under my touch. I leaned close and whispered: "Stop saying hurtful words. Be quiet or I will kiss your lips all night long to make you stop talking. I won’t spare them and I won’t spare you." She gulped hard at my words and pushed her lips shut. Closing her eyes she hid her face in my chest again. Not a single sound left her mouth after my threat. Was she so afraid of me kissing her? Or was she afraid that she won’t be able to stop herself if we did kiss?

I kissed her hair and lightly combed them with my fingers. "Can you sing something for me?" She requested in a small voice and I began to hum a lullaby my mother used to sing for me. Her body relaxed against mine and she molded it into me even more. Every part of her touched mine. Soon she fell asleep again.

Next few days her fever wavered between lowering and rising. Occasionally she felt pain and discomfort, but I stayed with her without pushing her. I observed her reactions and hoped in my heart that she might give me a clue about this bond stuff. But she remained tight-lipped.

After three days her fever was finally gone and she began to eat and drink properly. She stopped complaining about the pain as well. The message Rivan had sent clearly said that the fever and pains will disappear after a few days but can return weekly, monthly or yearly. Depending on the bond being shared between the two individuals. I didn’t want her to suffer like this again but then I wanted the bond to be strong between us. Felt like we were in a bitter dilemma.

The fever had taken a toll on her and I could see bags under her eyes, she appeared extremely weak, and this wrecked my heart. If only we could take this relationship to the height of intimacy, she wouldn’t be suffering so much.