Enchanting His Heart: His Little Fox
Chapter 537 - 535: "I Love You.
...
The next day, Song Yi went to handle the matters at the police station regarding Tang Si.
She returned home against the cold wind, feeling as if the chill had wrapped around her entirely.
As she entered, her breath was visible in the cold air.
Bo Shiyin was already waiting for Song Yi at home.
This gave Song Yi a bad feeling in her heart. She took off her coat: "Were you waiting specifically for me?"
"Has Tang Si’s health deteriorated again?" Song Yi hung up her coat and walked towards him.
There wasn’t much to talk about between them, so most of the time there was nothing to discuss.
Bo Shiyin stood up and went to the kitchen, bringing out a bowl of hot soup.
"He’s fine, actually recovering. Don’t worry." He handed the soup to Song Yi: "I’m worried about your health."
"You’re pregnant and running around outside. You should be more careful."
"Thank you." Song Yi took the soup from him, and as she drank it, she felt warmth spread throughout her body.
She hadn’t expected Bo Shiyin to be so thoughtful.
"Originally, these issues shouldn’t be handled by you, but you have more credibility with Director Cheng."
Tang Si wasn’t in good health, Bo Shiyin asked: "What did the police station say?"
"Did they mention coming to visit Tang Si?"
Song Yi replied: "I told them he needs to rest for three days, and to come see him afterward."
"Will Tang Si be able to get out of bed in three days?"
"Yes." Bo Shiyin said: "I gave him some medication, his body is recovering, and considering his overall good health, he should recover more quickly now."
Song Yi’s eyes finally showed some hope: "Is he awake now?"
"Hmm," Bo Shiyin said: "He just woke up, he’s upstairs. I felt we didn’t have much to talk about, so after a couple of words, I came down."
Song Yi looked at the soup in the bowl: "Did he ask you to make this?"
Bo Shiyin: "..."
Though he didn’t want to admit it, it was indeed Tang Si who asked him to make it.
He could only nod.
He didn’t make it with Tang Si’s attention to detail.
Compared to those in criminal investigation, he couldn’t keep up with the details, because they’re the ones who collect evidence and convict criminals.
"Thank you." Song Yi put down the bowl and hurried upstairs: "I’ll go check on him."
...
In the room upstairs.
Tang Si sat on the bed, with a small table before him, holding a pen and paper, writing something.
From afar, he looked down intently, but his face was pale.
Song Yi had never seen Tang Si so fragile.
Feeling as if a light touch might easily shatter him.
"What are you writing?" Song Yi spoke.
Tang Si paused his writing, lifted his head, and looked in Song Yi’s direction.
He smiled, like a gentle spring breeze bringing life to everything. He beckoned to Song Yi: "Come here."
Song Yi walked over and sat beside the bed.
Tang Si studied her face with concern and tenderness: "Your eyes are swollen from crying."
His tone, lazy and indifferent as always, carried a soft lilt: "Did you think I was going to die?"
He gently caressed the corner of Song Yi’s eye, his touch careful and tender. Song Yi lightly rubbed her face against his hand, her voice soft: "If you died, then I’d inherit, what’s there to be afraid of."
"If you dare to die, I’ll take your money, and marry another man with your son or daughter."
Tang Si laughed softly: "Then the lid of my coffin could not be held down, it would bring me back to life."
"So you can’t leave me."
"Mm." Tang Si’s voice was deep and mellow: "I can’t bear to die either."
Yesterday’s helplessness and struggle were something he didn’t want to experience again.
The dull, excruciating pain.
It made him understand clearly that even if he died, he wouldn’t rest in peace.
If he were gone, what would happen to her?
Tang Si’s voice softened several degrees, without waiting for Song Yi to speak, he spoke again: "I’m sorry."
Sorry for not protecting you well, and not protecting myself either.
"Why say sorry?"
"For nothing." Tang Si chuckled: "I couldn’t make your dreams come true, don’t even think of marrying another man."
"You’ve accepted my proposal, and still dare to have a wandering mind? Hmm?"
"I dare not." Song Yi laughed, his condition was far better than yesterday.
"Do you feel discomfort anywhere?"
"I’m fine."
"So what are you writing?" Song Yi looked down at the things Tang Si had just written.
She only saw the title on the A4 paper, about the T Organization’s clues and subsequent progress directions report.
"Why are you still writing this?" Song Yi furrowed her brows: "Can you let go of work for a while?"
Tang Si pressed his lips, staying silent for a while.
This time, it was not just for work.
Work could be done by anyone, but this time, he felt at ease if he did it himself.
"I’ve already talked to Director Cheng to get you leave."
"I know." Tang Si said: "When I woke up, you had just left, I greeted Director Cheng."
"Otherwise, do you think you’d manage to get leave for me so easily?"
He wasn’t a small employee, he held a critical position; it wasn’t just a matter of a few words to obtain leave, everything was quite serious when it came to official matters.
"Alright." Song Yi nodded: "If you insist on doing these things, I can’t stop you."
Song Yi looked at him: "You need to weigh work and personal matters carefully."
"Your body is yours, you should learn to cherish it, when will you learn to truly love yourself?"
Tang Si pressed his lips: "Are you angry?"
Song Yi turned her head: "No."
Now is not the time to be angry, can anger solve anything?
Even if she’s angry, he’ll persist in his course, and Song Yi can’t guide Tang Si’s decisions in work matters.
Sometimes she wondered, between work and her, was work more important?
But this man was willing to risk his life for her, what right did she have to think of him that way?
Song Yi brewed her emotions, speaking slowly: "I just feel I understand you less and less."
She didn’t want to argue with him now, didn’t want unpleasantness between them.
Divergences in opinions between two people were quite normal.
She was there for him, but where his heart was, Song Yi was not sure.
Watching Tang Si felt like viewing flowers through a fog.
Sometimes she thought she could see through him, know his thoughts, understand his actions.
But Tang Si, with his experience, skills, and even intelligence, ultimately surpassed her.
She felt more and more incomprehensible, as if he was very close yet so distant.
In this moment, Tang Si’s gaze was deep, looking at her face, she was close enough to hear her breath and feel her fragrance.
The distance was very close, each inch of breath seemed to carry light spreading towards him, gently touching his skin, bringing tenderness, allure, those sensations permeated his bones and blood.
A feeling indescribable in words spread to the marrow, silently exploding in his mind.
She remained so beautiful, so beautiful that she could soak into everything.
So, how could he pull her into the filthy mud?
"No need to see through." Tang Si: "It’s not a good thing."
He didn’t need anyone to empathize with him, especially not Song Yi.
He could bear it alone.
The heavy load, weighing thousands of pounds, was enough for him alone.
Song Yi could feel his deep and intense gaze, his eyes were filled with her.
Through his eyes, it rooted in her heart, letting the vine of love grow and entangle around her.
Tang Si slightly lowered his gaze: "I think my actions and expressions have been very clear."
"No matter what I do, it’s the best choice at the moment; you will understand in the future."
Song Yi: "Then why can’t you tell me now?"
"..."
Tang Si remained silent.
If I tell you now, you certainly wouldn’t let me do it.
Feelings and love, guilt and evil, entwined together, igniting and clashing, as if they gathered into a force pushing him towards the edge of a cliff.
And his choice was to take root and grow on the cliff. If fortunate, beautiful flowers might bloom.
Such matters have no shortcuts, only step-by-step progression.
Song Yi didn’t even know what language to use to describe her current feelings.
Silence seems to be a norm for people, representing many words wanting to be spoken but not knowing how to begin.
Silence also represents rejection, yet deep down she knew, she couldn’t refuse and couldn’t find the optimal solution to reject.
Because words of rejection, when spoken, feel feeble and powerless hence the silence in response.
Tang Si looked at her, he understood her state of mind, her silence was indeed a form of rejection.
At this moment, her heart was struggling to persuade herself.
When the ideal life is torn apart by reality, what remains is helplessness.
Perhaps, people should view the world with a gentle perspective, but even with gentle filters, there’s hardly any good to be seen.
Song Yi deeply held her breath, her heart constantly wandering, hesitating, the emotions and thoughts stomping out her abilities to express and perceive.
"Song Yi." Tang Si broke the silence.
Song Yi softly responded: "Mm."
Tang Si’s tone was calm: "Are you not regretting it?"
"Regret?" Song Yi lifted her eyes, her gaze clear, she was a smart woman, with high IQ and EQ.
No matter what happens, she can face it composedly.
And these days, she has been calm and has contemplated deeply.
"Tang Si, do you love me?"
"I love you."
Song Yi: "You love me enough to give me your life?"
"You know, I would."
"But you’re unwilling to give me the right to control your life, you’re binding me." Song Yi looked at him: "You say you can give me your life, meaning you could die for me. But I can’t decide how you die."
"The control of your life, is still in your hands."
"And then you tell me, you can love me with your life." Song Yi felt oppressively heavy: "I don’t deny your love; no one else in this world can love me and care for me more than you do."
"I can feel it clearly."
"But, do you know? In this love, there’s a shadow, it blocks my sight."
In this world, it’s hard for anyone to love someone like Tang Si does.
And it’s hard to be as insightful as Song Yi.
When both parties want the best for each other, and a little gesture from one makes the other feel bad, it symbolizes rejection and rebuttal, the beginning of an argument and distance.
"You love me, you should make me happy, shouldn’t you?"
"Don’t you consider, I love you too?" Song Yi questioned him repeatedly: "Don’t you know, I can love you with my life too?"
"You ruin yourself, can I be happy?"
Her words flooded into his heart, gradually swelling, seemingly about to explode.
His little fox saw through the decay and selfishness rooted in his bones.
She uncovered the unpleasant truths, exposing the last inch of seemingly pure land to be bloodstained.
She clearly sees through everything.
He was terrified that Song Yi might say these things, yet she eventually did.
This was uncharted territory, an inexperienced experience; here, he too was a blank slate.
Is it...
Truly, when both parties love to the extreme, it equates to not being suitable...
When she also sees through everything, starts rebutting and arguing, does it signify the beginning of the war to end this relationship?
Song Yi was right, if Song Yi were in danger, he could sacrifice himself for her, for her sake he could die.
But the right to control his life is not in her hands.
However, the things he’s done were essentially for her, was that wrong?
Alone and fallen into desperation, hitting a dead end, unable to find a viable lifeline.
Drowning emotions permeate and envelop a person, squeezing the organs so painfully they ache.
Tang Si said nothing.
Song Yi calmly stared at him and spoke: "Then can I perceive it this way, you can die for me, you can also die for tasks, and it’s equivalent to dying for the people rescued by those tasks."
"Then, essentially, am I not different from those people? You still see me as the citizens you protect." Her clear voice, word by word: "And I’m just the citizen who happens to be able to be your girlfriend."
"Just the one who can sleep with you, and bear children with you."
Her words sliced through like a knife of cold sharpness, with frost scraping bones and piercing the heart.
Vigorously hacking at his marrow.
Then packed him, thrown into a black garbage bag, tossed into an ignored and even detested garbage heap.
Frost enveloped his marrow, while flames burned inside his heart, the collision intertwined.
Driving his chest to heave violently, the pain from his organs surged to his chest, rising to his throat; without uttering a word: "Ugh—cough cough cough..."
The man clutched his chest and began coughing violently.
Blood, hot and scarlet, coughed out from his mouth, scorching her eyes and heart.
"Tang Si!" Song Yi rushed forward to support him.
The man’s coughs were unceasing, breathless and painful, unbearable.
The moment swept over like a storm.
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry..."
Song Yi panicked, Bo Shiyin heard the commotion and came upstairs.
She knew he wasn’t like that, she knew.
Yet why did she have to use poisonous words to provoke him.
Why.
Why...
"Please step out, I’ll perform emergency first aid on him."
...
The world became quiet at this moment, silent.
Song Yi crouched at the door, hugging herself, listening to the sounds and movements inside.
Desolate and hollow, she realized, she could be so vicious.
Realizing that even the man she loved so dearly, she could be so cruel to.
Song Yi felt adrift, her mind was a tangled mess.
Realizing, she wasn’t any good person either; the law couldn’t convict her. Thus, she entered the prison of hell.