Bologue dragged the drunken Palmer back home; the guy was almost a puddle of mud, and Bologue didn’t bother with him, threw him onto the bed, covered him with a blanket, and after quickly freshening up, returned to his own room.

Turning on the desk lamp, a corner of the dark room brightened, Bologue pulled open the drawer and wrote a large paragraph with flair in his notebook. Usually, when writing, Bologue was very engrossed, but for a while now, his mind had been difficult to settle.

Bologue’s mood was somewhat chaotic, extremely chaotic, tangled and unresolved.

Thankfully, time can numb all pain, Bologue had gradually accepted the fact of Xilin’s return, and a strange premonition rose in his heart that in the near future, Bologue would face Xilin once again...

Bologue was not sure whether the two would maintain peace or confront each other with swords.

"Ah..."

Bologue rubbed his head vigorously; the hallucinations caused by the Confession Song had disappeared long ago, yet during this period, Bologue developed other problems, such as headaches and insomnia. The impact directly affected Bologue’s mental state, and the Blessing of the Time Reversing Axis couldn’t manage these.

Bologue couldn’t understand why he had become like this; he guessed it was related to his own concerns. Then what concerns did he have? It should be noted that in terms of life, Bologue was almost a pure individual, efficient like a machine.

Can’t figure it out.

Bologue sat for a long, long time, as time edged towards the latter half of the night, he suddenly moved, opened the cabinet, and from a pile of "souvenirs," he took out a jewelry box, from which he took a necklace adorned with a ring and a cross.

Staring at the ring and cross for a long time, Bologue murmured to himself.

"A new beginning."

Bologue placed the necklace aside, picked up pen and paper, and began to write down his thoughts. Whenever Bologue encountered something unclear, he liked to write down these issues, much like solving a math problem, filling scratch paper with derived formulas.

"I think...I like Aimou."

First, Bologue wrote this sentence at the top of the scratch paper.

It was a warm, straightforward sentence, yet Bologue’s face showed no expression at all, like a bookworm genuinely treating his psychological issues as math problems to solve.

"Then what are like and love?"

Bologue posed a question and then wrote down his thoughts on these issues; his brows furrowed like a dedicated scholar engaged in rigorous study.

"From a physiological perspective, love is a series of physiological responses, including hormonal and neurotransmitter changes. These physiological changes can affect psychological and behavioral performance, making people more likely to forge strong emotional bonds.

In other words, the essence of love is the secretion of hormones and the transmission of neurotransmitters.

Increased phenylethylamine and dopamine facilitate the prominent characterization of the other half in romance, showing material form and special pairing behavioral expressions."

Bologue’s pen paused for a moment, then continued to write.

"Just like the reward systems for lab mice, every meeting of ours acts as a disguised reward, prompting us to crave encounters.

Yes, that’s it.

Changes in the reward system prompt the subject to display more positive behavior. When people are quickly and intensely captivated by love, they view their other half as a reward, akin to quickly delighting as if winning a great victory."

Bologue stopped writing; he felt he had walked into a blind spot. These words were too rational and cold, although they were Bologue’s style, yet described in such a manner, undeniably came across as too "savage."

"Why then, do I instinctively resist Aimou?"

Bologue had a very clear understanding of himself, and after thinking for a while, he wrote another sentence.

"Do I dislike Aimou? That is obviously incorrect. From a physiological standpoint, she indeed is a ’reward,’ causing my hormones to secrete, brain to feel pleasure, and mood to lift. But why do I resist being in this state long-term?"

If Palmer were awake now, seeing Bologue’s self-talk and what he had written, he would surely call Bologue a madman.

Then he would seal these things away as a memento; nowadays, individuals as precisely eccentric as Bologue are rarely seen.

Bologue shifted his gaze to the ring and cross, finding the crux of the problem, "Is it because of Adelle?"

He continued writing following his line of thought.

"I’ve always been in confusion and distress. I deeply love Adelle who has passed away, and due to regret, my emotions towards her haven’t been satisfied, making it hard to let go. Meanwhile, when facing Aimou’s goodwill, I consider myself betraying my feelings for Adelle, thus resisting Aimou."

This self-reflection reminded Bologue of a dilemma he had read about in books, an existential dilemma.

The existential dilemma arises from the diversity and uncertainty of life experiences, which human beings encounter as free existences.

Everyone’s experience is different, everyone has their own unique perspective and values, everyone goes through stages like growth, love, and life and death. These experiences shape human outlook and values, while also profoundly influencing the human soul.