"…" I open my eyes slowly. I'm in my bed in a terrible position. I try to sit up until I taste something bitter in my mouth. I spit into my hand and see three half-dissolved pills.

"Urgh…" I can't sleep normally anymore, so I take three pills a day, but today I took seven after finding out what Esther did. I just wanted to sleep all at once. It seems like only four actually took full effect, since I spat out three of them.

It was a request I made to the shadows, a strong sleeping aid, so Esther doesn't know I've been using this every day for a while now.

"Great…" I mutter sarcastically, tossing the pills out the window. Looks like four is the limit. Not that I would die—the medicine is strong, but one alone can't make me sleep because I'm a puppet.

And two only make me slightly drowsy, so I need three, despite the guaranteed strength of the medicine.

"What a terrible taste…" The bitterness of the medicine in my mouth is unpleasant, but even so, I try to stay calm. I glance at the clock on the wall and see that it's already quite late. Esther should be arriving soon.

"…" I look down at my stomach. I don't feel anything. Am I really pregnant? It's strange. I can feel every drop of my blood coursing through my veins—things so minuscule that no one would notice—so it's strange to think I can't detect a pregnancy.

Or rather, the fact that my son or daughter is now dead. I still don't feel anything inside me, but if both Esther and my mother confirm it, then it must be true.

'It's probably because the pregnancy is tied to magic methods…' I run my hand over my stomach, but I don't even feel the magic of it. It's kind of disappointing. I didn't want a child, but I would have loved to raise one if it had happened.

"…Evelyn, are you awake?" I hear Esther's voice as my bedroom door opens. I watch her enter with a plate holding a cream pie.

"…Esther…is this?…" I look at the pie with disgust. The hypocrisy of this act is repulsive. If I didn't love her, I'd curse her out for bringing a pie as if it were an excuse for what she did.

"A pie for you, obviously. I thought you'd like something sweet. I just finished today's work." She gives me a sweet smile as I take the plate from her hand. I pick up the spoon and take a bite, just to get the bad taste out of my mouth.

"Thanks. That's very… kind of you." I say before slamming the pie into her face. As the white cream splatters, the plate falls to the floor with the sound of cracking glass while I return to bed, leaving Esther standing at the door in shock.

"…" I sit on the bed, looking at Esther as her expression closes off into something dark.

"Are you angry, Evelyn?"

"No? I'm not angry. Why would I be?" It's the truth. Why would I be angry? I'm not a hypocrite. I accepted that Esther is like this. I knew she was a horrible person, and I chose to stay in this toxic relationship.

"I'm just disappointed." If Esther had talked to me about this child, I would have found a way. I don't know if I would have let her kill the baby, but I also wouldn't have done anything to make Esther jealous of a child.

I could literally have made Esther my priority if she had just asked nicely, but she chose to get rid of the "problem" without even telling me the "problem" existed.

"…" Esther approaches, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket and wiping my face to remove some of the cream that splattered on me. Her gentleness is almost disgusting right now, even if this is something "romantic."

"Did you really think I wouldn't feel anything after what you did?" I ask her.

"Remember, Evelyn. Everything is my fault. So I make the decisions I deem best."

"…Don't you feel anything for killing your own child?"

"No." She answers my question without hesitation. I hold her gaze. Her face, smeared with cream, would almost be comical if not for this extremely uncomfortable situation.

"I'm going to war. I'm not telling you anything. I'm not letting you see anything. And I'm leaving the shadows to watch you."

"…" She seems to think about that for a few seconds, before her expression twists with fury.

"Are you punishing me?"

"No, no, no, no! I'm not punishing you!! I'm speaking your language!!! If I don't do anything, you won't feel anything." For someone as obsessed as Esther, going without any information about me will be terrible.

"I'll leave you a reserve of meat and blood from my body, and that's it. Everything else will be blocked. All you'll know are the orders I give or information soldiers find out. Nothing more than that."

"But what if you betray me?! How can you say something like that, Evelyn?" She speaks with frustration, cleaning her face with the handkerchief.

And this is so ridiculous! Because it shows she understands. She understands perfectly how much she's hurting me. She understands this fact so well that she knows even if my heart belongs only to her, my body might seek comfort from someone who won't just hurt me.

"…Hahaha, that's hilarious. So now you're worried about that?" I give her a serious smile. So she does realize how terrible this decision of hers was for me.

'…' I remember Arial's kiss. It was so uncomfortable for that to happen, but ironically, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes Esther jealous.

"Enjoy the next five months, Esther, because you're going to spend a long time without seeing me again." I was so hurt by her decision that I needed Arial to steal away part of my sadness just to function again.

Isn't it ridiculous? Isn't it pathetic that I need my own feelings to be partially reduced just to function? While Esther won't even do the bare minimum to make me feel okay.

"…"

"If you try to kidnap me or lock me up, I swear I'll do something you'll regret deeply." When I threaten her so seriously, she freezes. I know she was thinking about it. It's so obvious from her expression.

She wants a genocide, so she wouldn't mind kidnapping me and locking me away somewhere isolated. But I won't let things go the way she wants. She can't easily lock me up somewhere, and she knows it.

"Oh? So now you're using your body as a bargaining chip?…" She says this, but I notice the hesitation. She knows I'm telling the truth. Her lips trembled as she tried to maintain her arrogance, but the fact is Esther is insecure about whether she can actually keep me for herself.

"…" I stay silent, just holding her gaze so she can see how serious my threat is.

"…Fine, my Queen. Do what you want." She snarls at me, getting up and heading to the door. She stops for a moment, looking at the mess on the floor.

"I did this for us…"

"You did this for yourself. Not for us. Don't make excuses. It makes you look pathetic, and I'm not going to believe it. I stopped being that naïve a long time ago…" I respond to her terrible excuse with a cold tone.

"…" She leaves, slamming the door so hard it cracks the frame. I lie down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Haaa… what a farce… she's irresponsible with me and then makes decisions on her own…" Strangely, I never imagined this would happen. I knew Esther could do something like this.

But I never thought the day would come when it actually did. It's so… strange and uncomfortable. And it makes me afraid of the future. If it happens again, wouldn't she just repeat the same act?

And if she can realize I'm pregnant before I even notice it myself, what's to stop her from doing it again without telling me before I find out? This fear sinks deep into my heart.

But along with it comes a slight exhaustion from what happened with Arial inside me. I think I'm still emotionally "weakened" from the excess Arial took before.

And by an even crazier twist of fate, Arial was right. Now she's the being who understands me best of all, because she temporarily experienced both my pain and my love.

And although it was strange to hear her say she loves me, I know it was a brief slip caused by her tasting my love. Still, the fact that she understands me so well now is equally strange.

I never thought the being who would understand me best would be a nymph—the least emotional and sentimental beings I know.

"…" I look down at my chest, feeling the core that sits where my heart should be. One of the proofs that I'm a nymph. There's so much I don't know about this race. Now that I know quite a bit about dragons, should I ask Arial about nymphs?

"Urghh… haaa…" I feel a sudden emotional crash, and tears begin to stream down my face. It seems the "calming" effects of what Arial did are starting to wear off.

"…" I leap out of bed and go out through the window. I'm going for a ride on my dragon. I need some time in total silence, without having to think about anything. So I'll just lie on my dragon's back while he flies, watching the sky.

Maybe the sound of the wind and the cold at high altitudes will help me stop thinking about everything. After all, sleeping isn't something I want to do right now.