SKYLAR

When I rouse awake from sleep, I find myself staring at a ceiling that’s unfamiliar to me. For a moment, my body reacts before my mind does. My pulse jumps. My fingers curl into the bedsheet as though I might need to fight my way out of wherever I am.

Thankfully, my memory slides into place. Yes, it’s not my apartment or my bed. It’s my friend, Katherine Regan’s house. Yet, the realization does not calm me as much as it should.

I sit up, drawing the sheets tighter around my shoulders, and let my gaze wander. The room is tidy, with no remote possibility that it has ever known chaos. Katherine always liked to keep her space neat. There is a faint floral scent lingering in the air, something soft and soothing.

On the dresser sits a framed photograph of Kat with her family. Her mother’s smile is warm, her brother’s, practiced. Kat herself is caught mid-laugh with her head thrown back, carefree in a way I have not seen in a while.

Pressing my lips together, I swing my legs over the side of the bed till my bare feet meet the cool floor. I moved in last night because Ashton insisted on it for my protection. I understand why he pushed for this. My ex did not just resurface; he followed me. Then he cornered me and hurt me. The fear I felt that night has not left my body since.

Still, the truth does not make this temporal arrangement comfortable for me.

There is something deeply unsettling about existing inside someone else’s family space. I hate being the person everyone tiptoes around, careful not to say the wrong thing. I can almost feel the unspoken questions hovering in the quiet walls of the house where all the kids are well-behaved, straight A students.

"What did she do?"

"Why is this happening to her?"

"Is she trouble?"

I hate it. I would rather be somewhere I am not silently measured against an invisible scale of acceptable behavior. My thoughts drift toward the one person that would not ask me to explain myself.

My foster brother, Keith, would not look at me with pity or caution. He would not ask why I stayed so long with that brute or why I did not see the signs earlier.

He would simply open his door, take my bag from my hand, and tell me to sit down while he makes coffee. He has always been like that; steady, unflinching and loyal in a way that does not waver when things get ugly with me.

His farmhouse is far from the city. It’s all acres of land, quiet roads, and no neighbors close enough to gossip. My ex would never find me there. He barely has money for rent, let alone a trip out of town.

And even if he somehow did, Keith would not hesitate. He would put him down like a rabid animal before he crossed the gate, and he would sleep soundly afterward, convinced he had done the right thing for his little sister.

Unlike my four brothers who would do the same in a split second for some other woman in their lives, not for me. It comforts me to have Keith in my corner

I head to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Afterwards, I study my reflection for an unhealthily long time. I look fine. I even look normal, like a woman who slept peacefully in a safe home. It almost angers me how convincing the illusion is. I splash water on my face and straighten my shoulders.

My brothers have money, power and connections. My father has all of that too. Yet, there is a pattern I have learned not to ignore. My pain is always invisible to them until something terrible happens that forces them to react.

Hard as I try, I can’t trust Ashton or rely on him to protect me. He swore he would handle Colt. He sounded certain but I have watched him prioritize Demi enough times to know how quickly his focus can shift. One text, one crisis or one call and suddenly, I am the problem that can wait.

I will not wait. Keith won’t make me wait.

I hear the bedroom door open softly.

"Sky?" Kat’s voice wafts in.

I step out of the bathroom and manage a smile. Seeing her eases something in my chest. Whatever drifted between us did not erase the years where she was my anchor when everything else felt unsteady.

"How was your night?" she asks.

"It was okay. I had no nightmares."

"I’m glad to hear that." She waves off my apology before I can voice it. "For the umpteenth time, you are not intruding. My mom and brother are happy to have you here, especially Maddox. He’s excited."

I huff a laugh. "Of course he is."

"You know he always had a crush on you."

I thank her, and this time I mean it fully. The shift comes quickly. I see it in her posture, the way she leans back slightly, bracing herself.

"Why didn’t you tell anyone he was back or that he was after you?" she asks. "Why didn’t you tell me."

I can tell from her voice that there is hurt there, not blind anger. That makes me feel worse.

"I didn’t have anyone I trusted to confide in. I learned a long time ago that even powerful men can overlook quiet suffering. Sometimes I have to save myself."

Her eyes soften. "Please do not shut me out. I know your brothers and your dad are complicated, but I am not them." She grips my hands. "Look at me, Sky. You know me better than that. I wouldn’t turn you away despite whatever differences we’ve had, not when your life is on the line. You can confide in me. You should have said something."

Tears glisten in her eyes but my own tears remain locked behind my dry stare. I hug her tightly, wishing I wasn’t so wounded and so raw that I couldn’t believe her words. I really wish I could trust her.

After she leaves, the doubt creeps in uninvited. Rather than savoring our rekindled friendship, I begin to question everything. The timing of Kat’s forgiveness is excusable, but the ease of it? Did Ashton convince her to forget the past? Did he ask her to keep an eye on me?

The thought irritates me more than it should. What if all of this is a mere performance? What if Kat is simply doing all she can to keep me within the walls of her home according to Ashton’s wishes? I’d hate if that were true, if her emotions and words were untrue.

I pull on my hair with both hands, grinding my teeth. "Stop it, Sky. You have to stop believing the worst of people without any proof."

I reach for my phone, ignore the missed calls from my dad and text Keith instead.

***

Breakfast with the Regans is awkward but tolerable. Kat’s mom leaves early for work after serving us food. Maddox tries too hard to lighten the atmosphere, telling unfunny jokes that I am forced to laugh at. Finally, Kat shuts him down and shoos him away to college.

When it is just the two of us, I pretend my appetite suddenly grows from zero to ravenous. To sell the lie, I stuff pancakes in my mouth hoping to dissuade her from bringing up things I don’t want to talk about.

"Whoa, easy. I didn’t realize you loved pancakes that much."

I smile with a full mouth. "I’m just hungry."

"Okay but try chewing properly and eating slowly. You wouldn’t want to get..." She trails off at the sound of the doorbell. My eyes flare with annoyance. I’m not a fan of visitors.

"I’ll go see." Kat replies the question in my wide eyes.

I almost choke when I hear his voice. Lucien? Immediately, I spit out my food and wipe my mouth. Deluded, I grab the dishes, confident that I can sprint to the kitchen, dump them and return presentable for Lucien but in my haste, I end up slipping on the tiles, colliding into him and splattering my soggy pancake crumbs all over his silk shirt.

Kat has a hand over her mouth in shock as she stares at us on the floor. I am on top of Lucien who broke my fall, shame and apology written all over my face.

"Oh God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry." He stops me from wiping-more like smudging- his shirt. Kat opts to clean up the broken dishes while I escort Lucien to the living room, profusely apologizing.

"It’s fine." He says calmly.

Fuck. Did I upset him? Does he hate me now? He looks the same as always; composed yet dangerous in a way that does not announce itself. He takes a seat and informs me that he stopped by to speak with me. My pulse spikes but I’m not sure if it was due to his words or the deep stare he gives me.

Slowly, I sit across him, and burrow my hands in between my thighs. Lucien leans forward to speak but I preempt him.

"Look, before you say anything, just hear me out." I hate how desperate I sound but I can’t let him refuse Ashton’s offer. I can’t help it but I want him close.

"Skylar...’

"I was young and stupid and lost," I begin, ignoring his protest. "Call it teenage angst or rebellion but I thought getting into all the wrong things would serve as punishment to my dad who paid me no attention growing up. I just needed him to see me, but he only did when I got into trouble or got hurt. Colt saw me, or at least I thought he did. Then he exploited me." Feeling ashamed, I lower my head even more to avoid his eyes. "I was so naïve I mistook Colt’s attention for love. I did everything he asked of me just to prove myself to him."

"I get it." Lucien concurs. "I know guys like him."

My head whips up. "Then you know he will stop at nothing to get his cash cow, right? You know he hates to lose and will hunt me for as long as it takes. Please Lucien, Demi will be fine. She doesn’t have any immediate threat keeping her awake at night. I know you can’t be bought or hired for money but can you not do this for me out of the kindness of your heart?"

We lock eyes briefly.

"That’s why I am here, Skylar. Colt’s been apprehended."

I blink twice, gasping in shock. "What? W-When?"

"A couple hours ago. I thought Ashton already informed you. His men got Colt."

I know I am supposed to be relieved by this news. Yet, I find myself struggling to believe it, to be happy about it. Why so sudden? Why now? My brothers have never come through for me as fast as I wanted. Why did Ashton have to keep his promise the one time I was hoping he would take ages?

"Aren’t you happy?" Lucien enquires, studying me with his gorgeous eyes. I forget to breathe for a second just looking at him. Then I bat my eyelashes and find my voice again.

"I am...relieved." I stand and pace a bit. "I guess I’ve been so used to him being at large that I didn’t think he could be nabbed so soon."

Lucien joins me on his feet. "I’m glad you have nothing to fear now. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to help you and would have hated myself if he hurt you again."

Though his eyes are flat, I cling to the concern lacing his words.

"Everyone’s got a past, Skylar. You don’t have to explain yours to prove you deserve protection. Thankfully, Colt’s handled. You’ll be fine." He turns to leave while my heart thumps in my chest. No, he can’t leave just yet.

"I wish I could believe that."

He halts. Even better, he turns to me.

"You can." He insists.

A small smile curls on my lips. "Colt has been arrested before, Lucien. That’s nothing to celebrate, because whenever he was locked up in the past, his lackeys found a way to find and keep his pet close for when he got released." I shudder in fright, rubbing my arms. "I sincerely hope they’re done being loyal to him."

The message appears to have landed with Lucien. "He’s got lackeys?"

I shake my head. "He never moved alone."

"You should tell your brother about it. He’ll have more men watching you."

Disappointment burns sharp in my heart following his words. I bet he couldn’t wait to get back to Demi. I literally just bared my heart out to him, told him about my ugly past just to get him to agree to guard me. If he had the tiniest sliver of care or common sense, he’d at least pretend to want to help me since it’s glaring at this point that I like him.

Is it so hard for him to make a little space for me in his protection routine? What exactly has got him so committed to Demi?

When he leaves, something ugly coils in my chest. I feel so stupid. I liked the wrong guy the last time and now he’s after my life. I’m trying to change my ways by liking someone ostensibly principled and even that isn’t working.

Nothing in my life has ever come easily, unless it’s pain.

"Did he leave already?" Kat asks me.

"Yeah, he left." I reply sharply, then sprint upstairs to lock myself in my room.

***

At night, I strip the dye from my hair and stare at the blonde girl in the mirror. Was it the colored hair? I thought he liked it the last time we met. Was it the unnecessary exposition of my past? I thought it’d convince him to protect me but maybe it only warped his perception of me. Maybe he only sees me as the troubled little sister of the Rollins quads, not as a beautiful, independent woman like Demi.

I continue to stare at the mirror. Should I dye my hair black like Demi’s? Does he like that hair color? Angry, I fist both hands in my hair and groan. Fuck that. I won’t do it again.

I won’t change myself or do things that make me uncomfortable just to convince a man to like me. I did that with Colt and look where that landed me. If Lucien can’t like me for me, then that’s his loss.

I’m tired of living my life to get the attention of men; my dad, m brothers, my crushes. I’m just going to do whatever I like, for me, and hopefully someone who likes the authentic me will turn up.

Frankly, I silently hope that someone turns out to be Lucien though since it’ll take a while to get fantasies of us out of my system.

I tie my hair in a bun and go downstairs to get water from the fridge in the kitchen. Midway down the stairs, hushed voices stop me. Is that Demi speaking with Kat’s mum?

I hide behind the stairs and listen. Sure enough, I’d recognize her voice anywhere. What is she doing here so late? I flick a glance at my phone. It’s almost midnight.

"I was so worried when I read the news about your accident and memory loss," Mrs. Regan says quietly, "but seeing you here now, I know you remember me at least, and our conversations."

Someone sniffles and I take it to be Demi. Is she crying?

"I did lose my memory a while back, Mrs. Regan. Life was a big question mark but right now, a lot of the cracks in my memories have been filled, including memories of you.’

I get an instant flashback to my encounter with her at the book fair. Did she act that strange because she couldn’t recognize me?

"Why the tears, my dear? And you came under the rain? You’re all drenched..." When I peep, Kat’s mum tries to dab Demi’s wet hair with a small towel but Demi stops her.

"I’m fine. I just needed to get away from him."

"From who?"

"Ashton."

Now, my ears prickle. What must have transpired between them if she came here under the rain? Demi bursts into tears as she continues.

"I just needed to be around one person whom I trusted to have my back and right now, that’s you."

"I’m glad you have faith in me, dear. Want to share what’s hurting you? May I ask what Ashton did?"

Demi hesitates a bit. "I just...I just don’t think it could ever go back to the way it was between us. When I lost my memory of him, I felt guilty every day because I didn’t remember him. Now that I recall how deeply we loved each other and how much I trusted him, it hurts ten times more whenever he betrays my trust." She looks up and shakes her head. "How could he continue to lie to me knowing that us being together torments me because of the role the Rollins family played in the death of my parents? How could he constantly remind me what a big sin our relationship is?"

Mrs. Regan wraps her arms around Demi and comforts her as she cries. I don’t know what to feel but it surely isn’t pity. Like they say, everyone’s got their shit to deal with. My life isn’t any easier. I admit I feel a bit jealous of her. Everyone wants to take turns pampering her. Even Lucien wants to stick with Demi. Now, my feelings are clear; I’m infuriated.

When Mrs. Regan leaves to get Demi something to eat, I emerge from behind the stairs.

"For how long are you going to keep using your deceased parents as an excuse to play victim?"

Demi leaps to her feet in shock. "S-Skylar. You’re here?"

"So, you do remember me." I sneer at her. "Give it up, Demi. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your sob stories. You feel bad hooking up with the man who killed your parents? THEN STOP. It’s that simple. You can cry and pretend to the entire world that it’s complicated but really, it’s not. You’re just too selfish to let go. I see you for who you really are. You’re the true villain here. You’re pathetic and weak. If you really consider your relationship sinful, then get the hell away from my brother and go start a new life somewhere else instead of holding the past against him all the time. No one’s perfect, not even you. If going against his own family and repeatedly putting you first over us isn’t good enough for you, then maybe you should stop toying with his feelings now, Demi. Stop playing these games with the people who are unfortunate to have you in their lives. GO AWAY AND STOP WRECKING THEIR LIVES!"

I walk away before Kat’s mom returns. Atop the stairs, I hear the slam of the front door. When I look down, Demi’s gone.