I lay in bed wondering what to do now. It’s midnight. Conner is soundly asleep beside me. I looked over at me and I knew I couldn’t keep this up forever. I needed to be better. To heal. For Conner, for the pack. But most especially for me. I got up and kissed Conner on the head. Letting my lips linger for a moment. I had to tell him everything but I needed time to myself first. I left our room and quickly but quietly walked out of the pack house. It was raining. I smiled up at the sky. I needed something to do. I walked into the woods and sat down. I listened to nature as it went on with its day.

Like nothing was so wrong in the world. I smiled. This is what I needed. I thought of Conner. I loved him so much. I didn’t deserve him. Tears formed in my eyes and I cried. I cried for my mistreatment. I cried for my misfortune. I cried for my innocence. I couldn’t do this anymore.

Hold on to my anger. My grief. My pain. I let it go. I surrendered to my fears. I felt like a weight was lifted off my chest. I could finally breathe. I knew I would never fully move on from this but I was better in a way.

’Winter. I love you. Thank you so much for everything you did for me.’ I mind linked her.

’Your welcome Gemma.’ She said dancing around in my mind. I smiled. I always knew she had my back.

’How about a run?’ I asked.

’Yes! Yes!’ She said. I got up smiling and run.

My bare feet splashing rain water around me. My hair whipping in the wind. "Woooooo!" I screamed. I started laughing. This was what I needed. I saw a log up ahead. I narrowed my eyes at it. When I reached the log, I jumped and shifted mid air. My white paws landed on the ground with a wet splash.

I wolfy grinned and took off in the woods. My coat was getting mud on it but I didn’t care. All I could focus on was the rain hitting my coat, the wet ground beneath my paws and the happiness in my heart.

I reached a cliff. Standing in the edge proud and strong. My life was like this. Me standing on the edge waiting for my saviour. But who needs one. I have myself don’t I? I run for a few minutes before I shifted back into a plain white dress and walked in the rain back to the pack house. No one was in sight as I walked back to my room. I quietly opened the door to my room.

"Gemma?" I turned at the sound of my name. My eyes landing on Conner.

I gave him a smile. He looked confused. I walked over to the bed and laid down pulling him with me. I laid my head on his chest and breathed in his scent.

"Gemma?" He asked again running his hands through my hair.

"Hi Conner." I whispered. I felt him shiver and smiled.

"Hi." He said keeping quiet. He was giving me time to talk.

"I want to tell you something." I whispered hesitantly, my voice wavering a bit.

"It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. I’ll be here whenever your ready." He whispered.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I want to tell you." I said. He kept quiet.

I sighed. "It all started when I was three years old. My pack was attacked. My mom helped me climb a tree and told me to wait till someone from the pack came for me. She left me there. I never saw her again after that. I’m pretty sure she’s dead. The pack trackers found me. They said we were joining Mood Dust pack which was closest to us. Or so I thought. I spent the first seven years in a dungeon being tortured by a man with one eye mostly. There were others but they didn’t do as much. All asking me who was the pure white wolf." I took a deep breath tears forming in my eyes.

Conner held me tighter. "I shifted when I was five but as I recall they told me shifters like me shifted when we were ten years old. I remember the one eyed man tortured me a lot before my birthday to weaken my wolf but she was already there. So after that I was moved to sleep in the closet and work as a slave for the moon dust pack." I said swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I stayed there and did all their dirty work for them for four years until I found out my mom left me money. It took months to track it down but once I did I started planning my escape. I needed to get far away as possible. Two years later, I’m prepared to leave but it was my sixteenth birthday. I wanted to meet my mate if he was in the pack. I used to wear a perfume to conceal my scent. I found it in a secret gym in the closet. It’s where I learnt to fight. So I met my mate and... he rejected me. I left. Flew to England and found your pack." I stopped talking and turned to face Conner tears leaking from my eyes.

"I found family here. People who care. You. You’re my mate Conner. My true mate. I wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for you." I said.

He sat up and so did I. He cupped my cheek and put a sweet kiss on my lips. "You’ve been through so much yet you remain so strong. I’m so proud of you mate." He whispered. I cried harder. Using the back of my hand to clean snot under my nose. So not attractive Gemma.

He wiped my tears. I removed my white dress, I had underwear underneath so thank God, and turned my back to him showing all my scars. The ones that refused to heal. He run his fingers over my scars. One by one. Tracing the lines that put imperfections on my body. "I’m sorry I couldn’t be perfect" I whispered.

"Your perfect the way you are Gemma. I wouldn’t want anyone else." He said pressing a kiss to my neck. "Now go shower you stink."

And just like that the deep passionate moment we shared was shattered. I laughed. For the first time in years. My tummy hurt so much and I couldn’t breathe but I was so happy. I looked over my shoulder to see Conner watching me with a big smile on his face. I kissed him before going to the bathroom and stripping. I stared at myself in the mirror happy for once about the woman I had become.

"I hope you’re proud of me mom." I whispered. I turned on the shower and stepped in. As I was washing my hair I wanted to know more about werewolves. My knowledge on them was limited.

"Conner?" I said.

"Yeah?" I heard him call from our room.

"Could you tell me more about werewolves?" I asked.

"Well shifters shift any time they are ready. Some even shift when they are still babies." He said.

"Really? I was told at ten years old." I said.

"No. That was the age the last white wolf ever shifted." He said and I froze.

"Conner?"

"Yeah?"

"I’m the white wolf." I whispered. I knew he heard me.

"Ok." He said.

"Ok?" I asked. This was my biggest fucking secret and he said ok?

"Its okay babe. I know you’re the white wolf. Winter explained it to Axle who explained it to me."

’Snitch.’ I mind linked to Winter. She just giggled and retreated to the back of my mind. I was grateful she told Conner. I would’ve had a hard time doing it.

"Anyway, there are what we call gifted wolves." Conner said continuing with his lecture. "They are wolves the goddess blessed with powers like Eve has the power over lightning, Car has power over fire, Ash power over technology, Jace can turn his body into metal and I....." He trailed off. By now I was done with my shower and wrapping a towel around my body. I opened the door and looked over at Conner who was staring outside the window at the brightening horizon.

"You..." I asked softly.

He took a deep breath and said "I have power over shadows."

"Shadows?" I asked.

He nodded towards the ground. When I looked I saw shadows move from the corner and creep up to my feet. They wrapped themselves around my legs and couldn’t see them anymore. They climbed over my body covering it like a dress. Then they pushed me into the closet and shut the door.

I giggled. "Awesome." I whispered. When Conner heard me he let out a relieved sigh.

Did he really think I would hate this powers? I looked around the closet. All my clothes had already been put up. I just needed to pick something. I went through my clothes trying to find something to wear.

Conner’s POV

I controlled the shadows using them to push Gemma into the closet. I didn’t know how she would react to my powers. Most people I grew up with shunned me saying my work was that of shadow demons. The ones that killed the moon goddess’ first great grandchildren.

Imagine my relief when she giggled and whispered awesome. I was angry at what Gemma had gone through. It took a lot in me not to shift and tear down the earth in search for those who harmed her but she needed me to be calm then. I mind linked Ash.

Ash. Can you possibly find where Gemma came from. I know your last results proved nothing but check transport data bases if you can. It took a moment for him to answer.

Okay. I’ll see what can be done Conner.

Thanks.

No problem. I cut the link. I was going to find the motherfuckers who hurt my mate and they were going to pay in blood.