Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - I Just Wanted a Quiet Life

"You did what!?" In a room that looked like a throne room, yet wasn’t entirely one, a young man sat looking down at three beautiful young women.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys that you can’t just go and declare war on everyone that pisses you off!?"

***

I used to be a normal guy, I had a normal job, normal dreams, and normal friends. And yet unlike all of the expectations any of you guys might have... I was completely content with that. I wasn’t this majorly unhappy otaku like all those other stories people read these days. I didn’t fantasize about new worlds, having magic, or any of those things. I liked my life, I liked the normality of it all.

I thought that would be my life, and I was fine with it.

Sure, did I have a girlfriend? No I didn’t.

Was I still a virgin? Absolutely.

Did this bother me in any way? Sometimes... well you know what I mean, what guy doesn’t dream of having a cute girl in his bed? Or... multiple cute girls if you’re anything like me.

But did the fact that I was a twenty-seven year old virgin have any effect on my happiness? Okay, yes maybe it did. But come on, I never asked for any of this.

I was happy where I was! 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

But noooo! Everything just had to go to shit.

And it all had to go to shit on one day. Nooo, there were no trucks involved, no one randomly stabbing me on a sidewalk, no health issues, no magic circles, what actually happened was a bit more embarrassing... heroically so of course.

You see, one day I was walking out of my happy place, okay there might have been some slight stumbling, and bobbing, and weaving involved, but everything was good.

I had just had a great time, a couple of colleagues had come together and decided that that night we would enjoy some refreshments at our local watering hole.

We had checked out some of the local scenery— That means girls. And if you’re wondering why I’m whispering that, just know that there are some very jealous women surrounding me at the moment... and it’s not like I don’t like my current life enough to wish for death.

We flirted with some of that scenery, very unsuccessfully, and now I was heading home.

I was walking.... Okay fine stumbling along the road when I saw a couple of thugs trying to mug an old lady.

What the hell she was doing out on the town at one am in the morning I still don’t know, but being the slightly drunk gentleman that I was, I figured I should probably help.

"Heyhic!!" I shouted, as I stumbled closer, but the guys didn’t seem to hear me, or maybe they didn’t completely understand me, I don’t know why not, I mean I was speaking English... right?

Anyway, I continued making my way over there, fully intending to make them pay for messing with an old lady like that.

But for some reason the distance between me and them never seemed to shorten. I mean I was moving forward at a decent pace, okay maybe I was kind of stumbling around so I made the distance almost twice as long, but still... it shouldn’t have been that far away.

And for some reason, the closer I got, the more it felt like my entire body was sinking into the ground.

At one point I was even crawling, very heroically of course, I kept making my way over there.

Eventually the thugs ran off with the old lady’s purse, they must have seen me coming, I mean I cut a mean picture if I want to.

What are you guys laughing about!? You know it’s true.

Anyway... where was I? Oh yeah right I was on my hands and knees cutting a striking figure, as always.

Come on guys I’m trying to tell my story here, stop interrupting me.

Through the cotton, someone had suddenly popped into my ears.

I don’t know when that happened, or who did it, but that was definitely what happened, I heard the old lady asking me something.

I was sure she wasn’t speaking any language I had heard before because I didn’t understand a single word she said.

I did however know that my eyelids were closing, and I couldn’t feel any part of my body, and for some reason the paving underneath me was closing its distance at a rapid pace.

And then... Well then I died apparently.

Okay, so alcohol poisoning isn’t the best and most dignified way to go out, but at least I was trying to save someone before dying of something completely unrelated.

That makes it heroic... right?

Right so that’s the story of my completely heroic death, and I don’t want any of you saying anything else about it.

So I always thought if you die in that life, that’s that, no second chance at life. You either go to heaven or hell, if you’re unlucky... or maybe one of those thugs.

But no... life wasn’t done with me yet.

That became clear when I found myself freefalling toward what looked like a very painful, and definitely deadly landing.

One benefit of this fall, the views were spectacular, there was greenery and nature as far as the eye could see.

Off in the distance was a massive city built around a lake with a massive waterfall pouring into it.

I couldn’t understand where the water came from though, there weren’t any mountains surrounding that lake.

But at that moment I didn’t really have any time to think that through entirely, I mean I was still essentially falling to my death... again.

I fell for what felt like hours, yelling, and screaming, there might have been some seriously effective vocabulary involved as well.

Some of the sailors I knew in my past life would really have been proud of me.

But finally I came closer to the ground, I mean seriously at that moment I had been falling for so long that I was kind of just wishing for it to end.

And so it did, at least my fall was broken by some branches, a couple of very large bird nests, and one very big very angry snake— I don’t know why it was angry, I was the one falling to my death.

And finally my fall was completely stopped by the very large and very loud armored knight trying to cleave the girl in front of him in two with his sword.

Did the impact hurt you ask... yes it did, it hurt like hell.

Did I die? Well obviously not.

As soon as I made impact with the knight, he folded in two like a pocket knife, his own sword impaling him, the exiting blade missing my throat by inches.

All of this happened in seconds, but of course being the perceptive and quick witted person I am I could see it all happen.

It’s not at all that I had my eyes closed on impact, or that I was screaming like a little girl when I hit him.

No, no, I was manly... very manly.

Hey! Don’t look at me like that.

When I finally opened my eyes... cough cough... I mean when I finally looked up from the corpse of the knight I was sitting on, my eyes met those of one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life.

Now at that moment I didn’t really think that anything else could go wrong— actually at that moment I couldn’t really think of anything at all... she’s really beautiful.

But of course this was only the start of my journey in this brand new world, in the world where I thought I would just live a quiet life.

What’s that? Okay, I’ll be right there.

Sorry guys it seems that’s all we have time for for today, the girls said it’s time for some kind of council... I think I heard something about war... no, no it’s probably nothing.