So I’m back again, I think you guys have probably had enough of my lovely wife romanticising me.

Obviously I don’t mind that at all.

I know everything she says about me being amazing is obviously true.

Maybe not the parts about me freezing when she straddled me.

Or the parts where she said I’m oblivious.

Or anything else that makes me seem like some kind of noob.

All of that is just part of the plan you know.

It’s all just part of the charm.

And obviously that charm worked, now didn’t it?

AND ANOTHER THING.

I NEVER admitted that I’m a terrible liar. I’m amazing at everything I do, so naturally if I put my mind to it I’ll be an amazing liar.

No I didn’t.

I was not too drunk on passion to remember it.

Now you’re just putting words into my mouth.

Okay, okay I’m sorry.

If my beautiful, sexy, and darling wife says I did something, I probably did it, and you should believe her— I’m only saying this to keep the peace. What I actually mean is that you should always believe me.

Now let’s get...

I didn’t whisper anything to them!

Honey you can believe me, I would never say anything that could hurt you!

Anyway! Before this devolves even more, we should get into it.

Or do you want my explanation of magic to take another three sessions because you keep interrupting me?

***

So after my amazing performance in our intimate moments together, I got us back to the topic at hand.

Even though it was hard to get my lovely wife out of her stupor— like I said, I’m pretty good— we finally got set up for her to teach me about magic.

From what I understood of her explanations at the time, before she could teach me anything, she would need to test my affinities.

And to do that, we had to use something called, testing stones.

Basically what I had to do was to hold the stone of each of the affinities in my hand, and then speak an incantation.

If nothing happened, I didn’t possess that affinity.

If something flashy happened, then I did.

There were seven stones in total, which obviously meant seven affinities.

I could understand that immediately of course... I am a genius after all.

I even had an idea of the affinities there were. I mean I was in a standard fantasy world, so obviously the magic affinities would be the standard ones.

We’re talking: Earth, Water, Fire, Air, Light, and Darkness.

These were pretty easy to guess, it was the last one however that had me completely stumped... Ahem I mean I had a pretty good guess about what it was, but I didn’t want to take away from Julia’s explanations... Yes, that’s exactly what it was.

"The final affinity is Null magic," Julia said as she held up the final stone, each of the stones had a color corresponding with its element.

Earth was brown.

Fire, red.

Water, blue.

Air, completely colorless.

Light, golden.

Darkness, a dark purple, almost black.

And the final stone, the stone Julia had been holding up at that moment was a glowing iridescent stone.

I have to admit, that from whichever angle you looked at it, it was quite a pretty rock.

"Now what you’re going to do is hold each of these stones, feel the magic power within you, and then speak the element." Julia went on as she started handing me the stones one-by-one.

Now being the absolutely amazing person I am, I immediately knew what she meant by feeling the magic power within.

I mean it’s obvious isn’t it, you just had to feel the magic power.

What’s so complicated about that?

Nothing.

She didn’t have to explain to me that every being, if they focused on their abdomen, should feel a tiny pressure there.

And that this pressure was their magical power.

And that if they focused a bit, they could channel this power through their bodies.

She didn’t have to explain any of that, I had already noticed this tiny pressure the moment I landed in this strange world.

But I’m not too big to admit that I still had one question, I wasn’t certain about, it’s not that I was completely clueless about it, I had some ideas, I just needed her to explain it to me properly.

"So how does a person’s magic power increase, they aren’t capped with what they are born with right?" I asked.

"You’re right, we can increase our magic power, and it’s actually pretty easy to do. Every person’s abilities, and strengths are determined by the amount of faith they have." She answered.

I knew it!

I completely knew it!

"Faith?"

"Faith, the belief of others in you... Basically your reputation."

Now being the awesome person I am, this excited me quite a bit.

Do you know how easy it would be for a man as amazing as me to have a reputation that would allow me to live comfortably, and have enough power to protect myself?

It’s not like I would need the entire world to know me to achieve that.

I mean I was going to open a bar, what better place than that to get to know people, build a stable and good reputation, and get "stronger" at the same time.

Even without knowing all of the details I had come up with the perfect plan.

If that isn’t the sign of a true genius I don’t know what is.

Anyway, so I went through the steps Julia told me, and as always I was amazing, so amazing in fact that I completely stunned the beauty.

I held the fire stone first because, you know, fire’s cool.

"Fire," I said, and there it was, a spark of a flame appeared in the centre of the stone.

Next was the Earth stone, when I spoke the element a swirl of sand could be seen in the centre of it.

With the Air stone, it was a tornado that formed.

With Light, the stone started to shine.

With Darkness, the stone turned completely black.

Finally I reached for the Null magic stone, but for this one I didn’t really have any idea what I had to say, I mean it’s not like "Null" is actually an element.

"What’s the incantation for this one?" I asked, it took a few moments for me to get Julia’s attention, she was still astounded by my sheer awesomeness.

"Like I said earlier, because you are an otherworlder, you should have storage magic, so you can just say ’storage’." Julia answered, when she could finally pick her jaw up from the ground.

So I held the stone, and said, "Storage."

As soon as I said these words, a swirling iridescent portal opened next to my hand.

I could feel the space inside, every inch of it, and it was quite massive, and quite empty.

"So this is my storage space?"

"Yes, you should be able to feel everything inside of it, and control exactly what you want to take out of it when you focus on the specific item." Julia answered.

This alone excited me more than any of my other affinities. I mean a storage space I can carry around with me. The possibilities for its uses were endless.

I stood up from my seat and started pacing around the room, thinking of all of the different ways I could use this.

All of the different ways this could improve my life.

How it could benefit my future business ideas.

Being the genius that I am, I came up with thousands of ideas on the spot, so I’m not going to bore you with any of them.

But my biggest problem right then was that I didn’t have the capital to attempt any of my business ventures.

And that asshole of an innkeeper had been my only easy entry.

Julia had mentioned adventuring, and a guild— once again, standard fantasy world, so I should probably have expected that— but I had no interest in getting myself into dangerous situations just to make some money.

"That asshole has really put a giant rock in the road of my business plans." I whispered as I paced around the room.

"Maybe you should give him some time to cool off," Julia said as she stood, and started walking towards the door. "In the meantime, I have some errands to run, I’ll see you later."

Obviously I had no idea what kind of errand she had to run in a small village that she was completely new to.

But I knew better than to interrogate a woman on her comings and goings, especially right after... you know what I mean.

She’ll immediately start calling you possessive, and toxic, and a bunch of other nasty things.

And I liked Julia, I didn’t want to mess it up right after it started.

***

Okay, so Julia says that she’ll tell you guys what those errands actually were in the next session.

Apparently it has something to do with the solution of all of my problems.

You know the one we were supposed to tell you about like three sessions ago.

Damn, we are really terrible at keeping a story on track.

But it’s not like any of you guys mind us not skipping to the headlines.