Fate really is a strange thing.

When I first saw Lady Coco, I thought, What the hell is wrong with this girl? But now we’d become something like friends. How is that even possible? If somebody told me it was a lie, I’d believe them! Coco probably felt the same way. When she first saw me, she must’ve thought, What the hell is this childish little idiot? And I’d thought, What kind of stuck-up noble brat is this?

It’s weird, the way a relationship can change.

That was probably why I couldn’t sleep now...

I’d overheard Luman and my brother talking.

They said they’d be parting ways in a place called Tempesto Village.

It sucked. More than I expected. A whole lot.

Once Luman left, it’d be just me and my brother alone again, so shouldn’t I be happier about that?

Right after I heard he was leaving, I’d felt fine. But the more time passed, the stranger I felt.

Then again... I’d never really parted from anyone except my brother. Maybe that was why this felt so weird.

“Is Ren asleep?”

We were camping in the forest tonight.

My brother and Luman were both staying up to keep watch instead of sleeping.

The mood was completely different from when we first left the village.

“Yeah.”

My brother answered Luman’s question flatly.

“Yesss. He fell asleep right away earlier.”

Jepeto answered a beat late. His voice was all sluggish and muddy, like he’d been dozing. And since it got quiet again right after, I figured he was probably sleep-talking.

Is Jepeto secretly some quack doctor or what? I’m not asleep!

I was wrapped all the way up in a blanket, pretending to sleep under my brother’s—my brother’s!—cloak that Luman had draped over me. Hehe.

It was just... if I stayed awake, I felt like I’d have to talk about this and that, and then I’d probably waste energy too, so I was pretending to sleep to conserve my strength.

Maybe I should’ve just joined in and chatted with them instead.

Lying there in silence, all kinds of thoughts started crawling in.

And then, belatedly, I got curious too...

When I got stabbed with that sword... did my brother worry about me a lot?

Aaaagh. I can’t ask that! That’s way too much! I wish somebody would just sidle up to me and whisper the answer, but nobody’s done that. Maybe there was nothing to say because it really wasn’t that big a deal?

Should I just go fall down right in front of him? Maybe crack both my knees open or something? Then I’d be able to tell how much he’d worry about me, right? Yeah! I should try that tomorrow! No, that’s idiot behavior. The schedule’s already been delayed enough—there’s no way I can go testing something like that. No, but still...

“Ughhh.”

“What’s wrong, Ren?”

“Huh?”

I guess I’d let out a groan without realizing it.

The blanket I’d been pulled under was suddenly peeled back. I squinted at the firelight, and Luman’s blond hair spilled down and poked me in the face. My brother shoved Luman’s upper body aside and slid a hand behind my back.

“Mr. Jepeto. Please take a look at Ren.”

“Huh? I’m fine, though?”

“Fine? You were groaning.”

“Huh? No, that was...”

That was because I was thinking stupid shit!

My brother pulled me up into his arms.

What the hell, brother?

“I can sit up by myself.”

“I’ll do it for you.”

“Huh? O-okay.”

“All right then, let’s examine you. Ahem.”

Jepeto came over with an awkward look on his face. He took my wrist and checked my pulse. For a moment he sat there with his eyes closed, then smiled like there was nothing wrong.

“He’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Brother, what’s wrong with you??”

Now this was embarrassing!

Why are you doubting the doctor who just examined me? That’s not like you at all!

More importantly, this is humiliating!

The problem was... I didn’t exactly hate it.

So instead of properly resisting, I only grumbled to myself inside my head. My cheeks felt hot. Luman looked at me and let out a short laugh. But for some reason, that laugh sounded a little bitter.

“Let him sleep. Looks like he was talking in his sleep.”

“Yeah. I was sleep-talking.”

The second I answered, my brother looked straight into my eyes.

“Ren. If you’re hurting, you have to say so instead of enduring it. Understand?”

I barely managed a tiny “Mm,” and then he laid me back down, telling me to sleep now. When I kept staring up at him wide-eyed, my brother tilted his head. His long, shaggy bangs shifted in the wind. My eyes followed the way they stirred and fell apart, and then my brother pressed a hand lightly against my forehead.

His hand was still warm. Still nice.

“Go to sleep.”

“Okay.”

I answered obediently.

My brother went back to lean against a tree, and Luman sat down near me.

Because he was sitting diagonally across from me, all I could really see was the shadowed line of his face.

“Sir Ren.”

“I told you, just call me Ren.”

“Heh. Right, that’s true. Did you take your medicine?”

“What medicine?”

I snapped back at him without thinking, and Jepeto awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Um... the one I made for you this morning. The one that helps restore your strength...”

“Oh... yeah. I took it.”

Ugh. Me too, seriously. Of all the things to get prickly about...

Calm down. The only person who knows about my illness is the old apothecary.

So there’s no reason to panic ahead of time. At this rate I’m gonna give myself away, I really am!

When I shook my head, Jepeto asked what was wrong.

“Sorry for snapping at you.”

“Oh, no. It happens when people are tired.”

Jepeto smiled that easygoing smile of his.

What? It happens when people are tired? That’s ridiculous. Doesn’t Jepeto ever get mad?

Maybe he read the question on my face, because he cleared his throat and sat down near me. Was he trying to talk?

I stared blankly at him, then half sat up too, because I still wasn’t sleepy. The second I moved, my brother’s gaze followed me.

Mm. I like it when my brother pays attention to me... but this is starting to get a little intense, isn’t it?!

Even while thinking that, I almost snorted.

“When you’re a doctor, you end up meeting all kinds of people.”

“Well, obviously. You’re a doctor.”

Ah.

The second I answered on reflex, I regretted it. I’d gotten so used to mouthing off because I never wanted to lose an argument that now it was just a habit. Was he gonna scold me? He’s not gonna hit me or anything, right? I mean, he’s a doctor. Without meaning to, I kept sneaking glances at his face, but Jepeto didn’t seem bothered at all. He just smiled mildly and, instead, tugged the blanket—which had slipped all the way down to my legs when I sat up—back over me.

“Uh... thank you.”

“People are hurting all over the place. Kids, old people, young people, men, women, everybody. You end up meeting all sorts. Anyway.”

What was Jepeto trying to say?

For a second, the way he looked at me seemed warm.

“People who are hurting can’t help getting sensitive. And you’re still young, Ren, so how much harder and more painful must it have been for you?”

“What are you...”

“Maybe this is something you don’t want to talk about, Ren, but...”

I didn’t even know what he was going to say next, but all of a sudden I tensed up.

“...Getting stabbed with a sword isn’t something minor. It’s not the kind of thing even a grown man can just casually go through. Just because your body healed doesn’t mean the fear and pain from then disappear. Even if you think you’re fine.”

“......”

“Of course, I °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° hope you really are fine. There aren’t many bad doctors who want their patients to hurt.”

“You’re not saying there are none.”

“Well... bad people do exist. Still, if I can heal them properly, that’s enough, isn’t it?”

Jepeto scratched his cheek and smiled.

The doctor Jepeto, who’d seemed kind of clumsy before, looked different to me now.

There was something quietly honest about him. 𝕗𝐫𝐞𝕖𝕨𝐞𝗯𝚗𝕠𝘃𝐞𝚕.𝐜𝗼𝚖

And I didn’t like that.

One person I didn’t mind was enough, and that was my brother.

I don’t have enough energy to start caring about other people too.

“I got sidetracked. Anyway, what I really wanted to say is... it’s okay. You can be irritable until you feel okay again. That’s fine. We’re all adults here, aren’t we?”

“......”

Uh, well, um.

The same useless half-words just kept circling in my mouth.

I’d never heard anybody say something like that to me before... so I didn’t know how I was supposed to react. When I just sat there staring blankly, he scratched the back of his head.

“I talked too much. We should sleep. It’s late. Ren, if anything hurts or makes you uncomfortable, just say so. That way I can actually earn my keep. The Heroes and Lady Coco already paid me more than enough, so I ought to do work worth the money if I want to feel at ease. Ah, right! And when I say uncomfortable, I don’t mean just your body.”

As he said that, Jepeto pointed at my chest.

He didn’t even touch me, but I jerked back like I’d been stabbed.

“If your heart hurts too, you need to say that.”

And with that, Jepeto went back to his place without waiting for my answer.

He fell asleep so fast it was ridiculous. The second he lay down, he started snoring.

What the hell... who falls asleep that fast?!

For a second I was just dumbfounded, but... anyway, it left me feeling strange.

It didn’t feel bad.

To have someone tell me it was okay to be sensitive.

I honestly didn’t really know what that even meant. Tell someone if my heart hurts?

Hearts are always uncomfortable.

This heart that gets sad so easily, happy so easily—it’s always uncomfortable. I guess Jepeto’s never been like that before. Idiot.

Even so, I didn’t want to curse him out.

Mm. But still, I hope he doesn’t get too kind.

I’m not used to parting from other people... so I hate it.

The only kind of goodbye I’m used to is the one with my brother.

I only want to prepare myself for parting from him. That alone is already more than my heart can handle. I don’t want other people forcing their way in too.

The moment I thought that, my chest turned lonely.

No. Times like this are exactly when I need to harden my heart.

I bit the inside of my mouth and made myself a promise.

No matter what happens, I shouldn’t go back to Coco.

All of a sudden it felt like I could hear her crying again in my head.

Sorry, Coco. I think it’s better if there is no later.

Because really, she was already hurting enough over Shawn’s death.

And her parents. And Dell Belkerman’s betrayal. I had no idea how deep those things had carved holes into Coco’s heart. So instead of adding one more to the pile, I thought it’d be better if I just let myself be forgotten.

A good goodbye is one where there’s no news at all.

Yeah.

I should think of this as my last trip... and start getting ready to say goodbye.