“Ren, listen to your brother. I’m already very late, so I can’t put this off any longer. I’ll go on ahead, so you come slowly. One of my companions will get you safely to the capital—”

Temar started explaining slowly in a calm voice.

Sadly, Ren didn’t look like he had any intention of listening.

“You said we’d watch it together.”

Ren cut him off, his lips trembling. It was obvious he was trying as hard as he could not to cry or lose his temper.

“Ren, of course I want to watch the fireworks with you too. But I have to go. All those people came all the way here because of me. Right now, I’m—”

“What about me?”

“Causing troub—, Ren?”

“Then what about me?”

Temar looked like he didn’t understand.

Ren pointed at Temar with one finger, then pointed that same hand at himself.

“What about me, the one who came all the way here because of you? I came because of you too.”

“...Ren.”

Temar felt like his chest had closed up.

“We came all the way here together.”

“And now you’re saying you’re going to leave first?”

“Ren. We’re both going to the capital. We can meet there.”

Ren refused to bend. His hair fluttered in the wind. Only then did Temar notice that Ren’s lips had gone blue. He wrapped an arm around Ren’s shoulders to guide him inside, but Ren jerked away like he’d had a seizure and smacked Temar’s arm off him. Temar froze exactly like that.

“Ren.”

“The fireworks.”

At this point, it almost felt like it would be better if Ren just screamed.

They were talking, and yet it felt like they weren’t communicating at all. Temar let out a sigh and scrubbed a hand down his face.

“Ren. I just told you. I have to go. I can’t stay to watch something that starts late at night. Watch it with Physician Jepeto. That solves it.”

The emotions Ren had barely managed to chew down and swallow were starting to surge back up.

Why the hell wasn’t it getting through, no matter how hard Temar tried to say it right?

“You said we’d watch it together.”

“Ren!”

In the end, Temar snapped and shouted.

“Why are you being so stubborn? I told you no!”

The second Temar raised his voice, Ren couldn’t hold it in anymore either. Tears spilled down in fat drops as he started screaming.

“You said we’d watch it together! You promised! You promised me over and over!”

Temar hadn’t forgotten Ren asking again and again if they were really going to watch it together, begging for it.

It was just that the situation had turned into one where he couldn’t keep that promise.

Temar regretted it.

Regretted all of it as he watched Ren screaming so hard he was swaying on his feet, tears streaming down his face. If the reality that came after a sweet stretch of time hurt this much, then maybe he never should have reached for it in the first place.

“Even if you go, watch it first! I’m telling you to watch the fireworks with me before you go—!”

Not just Geloman—even people farther away started turning to look, murmuring among themselves. Heads popped out from the inn windows too.

Temar’s face hardened.

“...Ren, stop. I’m sorry.”

The gentle voice, as if it understood everything, made Ren choke up.

If Temar had just pulled him into a tight hug, maybe Ren would have stopped throwing a fit.

“Come on. Let’s go inside. You can’t make this much noise out in the street.”

If only he hadn’t said that next part.

Ren, looking like all the strength had drained out of him, muttered,

“...So other people matter more to you than I do. Even now. Even in a situation like this, that’s what you say?”

Temar couldn’t understand what Ren meant.

“Um, captain. Shouldn’t we stop them?”

After blinking a few times, Charles asked Geloman. Geloman, who had stayed put and gone on watching with a seemingly detached face, looked over at Jepeto, who was fretting and wavering over whether he should step in with Charles.

“Someone once said the best entertainment is watching other people fight.”

“Captain! Wasn’t that me who said that? This isn’t somebody else’s business!”

Charles looked at Geloman with an expression full of disappointment, like 'how can you just stand there and watch your comrades fight?' Without so much as blinking, Geloman answered in his stiff face, “It was a joke,” leaving even Jepeto looking sick of him.

“Why should we interrupt their conversation?”

“You really think that’s what this is? A conversation...?”

“Captain, does that seriously look like a conversation to you?!”

Jepeto and Charles asked almost at the same time.

Geloman’s blunt, angular face gave a short nod.

Charles found himself thinking that one day he really wanted to crack that skull open and see what was inside.

Sad as it was, this had turned into a pretty decent spectacle for everyone else.

“What are they even fighting about?” people whispered, while arguments broke out over whether the older brother was being too harsh or the younger one was just too immature.

Temar had kept trying to persuade Ren, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

Even when he told him that wasn’t it, Ren wouldn’t hear him. He was being more stubborn than ever, screaming harder than usual. His lips were split and bleeding from biting down to hold back his sobs. Tears he couldn’t swallow kept pouring down. He scrubbed at them roughly with his sleeve until the skin around his eyes had turned raw and red. His voice had gone hoarse from all the yelling, and each breath he dragged out came sharp and unsteady.

'Was I the one who made Ren like that?'

'Why?'

All Temar had wanted was to make at least one short memory with Ren.

Was even that too much to want?

He had defied the king’s orders for the sake of that selfish wish. He had become a negligent Hero, and he couldn’t even be a good older brother. Emptiness hit him, along with a feeling too ugly to put into words.

He felt like a worthless person.

Ren, panting and crying and looking like he might collapse, still stood there stubbornly planted on the ground—and slowly watched Temar’s expression change.

There are moments like that.

Moments when even the smallest thing becomes painfully clear.

Ren had felt it once before, when Temar looked at him and smiled and said, “Ren, my little brother.” Back then, it had felt like he could see even the creases at the corners of his mouth and the exact warmth in his eyes.

This felt like that too.

Everything around Ren stepped back, and Temar filled the space it left behind.

The dark brown eyes that had been stained with pity and apology sank down into something empty, as though some thin layer had covered them. His thick mouth, which had been trying so hard to explain, flattened into a line. All the tension that had been stretched tight across his face suddenly went slack, like a snapped rubber band.

As if a thin veil had fallen over him, Ren could no longer read his expression.

His heart started beating wildly.

“Do you really have to act like such a child?”

Temar’s voice, calmer now and sunk deeper, stabbed coldly into him.

Ren, who had been spilling words nonstop, saw the expression on Temar’s face and thought he had made a terrible mistake.

“Do you really need to make things harder for your brother?”

“......”

Ren froze blankly.

That’s not it.

He tried to say something, but only his lips moved. If he opened his mouth now, he felt like the sobs would burst out so hard he’d never get them back under control.

Ren had never wanted to make things hard for Temar.

He had only wanted to watch the fireworks with him.

They would be the first fireworks Ren had ever seen, after living his whole life shut away in a shack in a tiny village. He had only wanted to remember the first fireworks of his life together with Temar.

The reason he had pestered him all three days was because he wanted it to become a special memory more than anything else.

Some memories are harder than steel. Hard enough to let you endure even the pain of your mind being torn apart.

“Brother... I...”

Anger that had lost its strength turned into sadness.

The sadness sank heavy into his stomach, and Ren couldn’t say a single one of the words drifting through his head.

“Lord Temar, Ren, that’s enough now...”

Jepeto, fretting over Ren’s deathly pale face, finally stepped in a little.

But neither of them seemed to hear him.

Watching the situation carefully, Jepeto edged quietly closer to Ren. He looked like he might collapse any second, and Jepeto was fully prepared to catch him if he did.

The first button of this conversation had seemed like it hadn’t gone on that badly!

In that moment, Jepeto missed Luman so badly he could have cried. If Luman had been here, there was no way this would have spiraled this far out of control.

Ren swallowed down a sob and opened his mouth haltingly.

He had gone too far.

Temar had tried to explain, but Ren had been blinded by the fireworks, and in that moment he had gotten so angry at what his brother was doing that he had backed him into a corner.

“Brother, I’m sor—”

He wanted to say he really hadn’t meant to make things hard for him. Just that, for a moment, he’d gotten angry because it felt like Temar cared more about everyone else than about him. He wanted to say he was sorry for throwing a fit. That Temar’s companion was right there, and he had acted spoiled, acted badly, done wrong—

But then—

“There’s something your brother wants to ask you, Ren.”

He had been planning to say that and then maybe at least spend dinner quietly together with him...

But Temar didn’t give him the chance.

“......”

“You said you wanted your brother to be an honorable Hero, didn’t you.”

Ren barely managed a nod.

Why was he bringing that up right now...?

“Then look at me right now.”

“......”

“Am I honorable?”

“Brother.”

“The king called for me, and instead I’ve been wasting time and watching festivals.”

“......”

Ren’s pupils widened. The corners of his eyes trembled.

Jepeto sucked in a sharp breath in shock.

How could he say something like that? Oh, good God.

“There’s nothing honorable about it. It’s not like we’re parting forever, and it’s not far from here to the capital anyway. One of my companions will get you there safely. Physician Jepeto is with you too.”

“......”

Jepeto could do nothing but stand there helplessly, trying to read the room. Ren had gone white as paper.

“You can’t always live exactly the way you want. Ren, don’t make things so hard for your brother.”

Grinding his teeth, Ren muttered under his breath,

“The way I want...?”

“Lord Temar. Maybe it would be best if you stopped talking now...”

Jepeto finally managed to gather the courage to say it, but the words scattered uselessly into the air.

Temar gripped Ren’s shoulders hard.

“I’m always going to leave when I’m given a mission. If you act like this every time, then I won’t be able to tell you anymore.”

“......”

“You’re not a child anymore. Ren, you have to change too.”

Ren’s clenched fists trembled.

Oh, heavens above.

To ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) Jepeto, it looked like steam was about to start pouring out of Ren’s head. But Temar didn’t seem to notice that Ren’s face had gone icy cold at all.

So he just kept saying one disastrous thing after another.

Jepeto silently looked up at the sky. One verse hadn’t been enough for Temar—not two, not three, not four. At this rate he looked ready to sing all the way to the final verse of the longest song in the Empire.

“You need to answer.”

Ren blinked rapidly. Tears pattered down. He scrubbed them away with his palm, then looked straight at Temar. The green eyes that had been drowning in sorrow now shone bright, like lamps had been lit inside them.

“Okay.”

At that obedient answer, Temar sealed his mouth shut. His exhausted mind throbbed with fatigue and dragged a headache along behind it.

'Right. That settles it.'

Just as Temar thought that, Ren’s gentle voice knocked straight through his skull.

“Okay, then. Since I understand... can I hit you just once instead?”