I Am the Hero's Immature Younger Brother
Chapter 90: A Journey Has to End Someday
“Ren, Ren. Are you asleep?”
“Why?”
“Later, read the note on the table. Lord Luman left a note behind. Make sure you read it later, okay?”
Ren didn’t answer, but Jepeto was sure that once he fell asleep, Ren would read the note.
He lit a small candle on the table, then put out all the other lights in the room. After that, he cracked the window open a little. Maybe because it was the last day of the festival, the noise outside was far louder than it had been yesterday or the day before. The music was louder. So were the people’s voices.
He can enjoy it like this, at least.
“The fireworks are supposed to be huge, so you should be able to see them from this room. Ren, I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep first, but if you’re still awake, make sure you watch them and tell me too.”
“...”
As if he wasn’t expecting an answer, Jepeto only muttered it like he was talking to himself, then lay down on Temar’s bed.
The lights from outside flickered across the ceiling of the inn room.
Jepeto decided to fall asleep early. That way Ren could have some time to himself. Ideally, now that they’d already paid, it would’ve been nice if they could even use separate rooms—but that was too worrying. No matter how much a newly arrived Hero like Geloman was guarding them, having a minor sleep alone in an inn was a seriously dangerous thing.
“Ah, Ren, if you happen to want to go back out again, make sure you wake me up. All right?”
This time Jepeto spoke firmly, like he intended to get an answer.
“...Thank you.”
A long while later, Ren mumbled in a tiny voice.
Only after finally getting a response did Jepeto close his eyes, and he fell asleep almost immediately.
And he would regret that for a very, very long time. Jepeto was a heavy sleeper. Unless someone shook him awake directly, he wouldn’t hear something quiet like footsteps leaving the room. He would regret it for a long time, thinking he should have stayed up all night talking with Ren.
***
Jepeto’s snoring filled the small room.
Ren slowly pulled back the blanket and sat up. Through the window Jepeto had left open came the loud trumpet blasts announcing the festival’s final performance. It sounded like everyone had gathered to dance together; cheerful laughter and shouted calls rose along with the music.
Ren lowered his legs off the bed.
Thunk.
“...?”
He had put his feet down near the head of the bed, but something caught against them with a dull bump.
What was that?
Crouching down, Ren examined the thing his foot had touched.
It was a bundle, stuffed fairly full.
“This isn’t mine.”
And it probably wasn’t his brother’s either. Was it Jepeto’s?
He had never seen a bundle this stuffed before.
Ah, come to think of it, when Luman had gone upstairs to bring down his things, he had been carrying something kind of like this.
“What the hell. He’s such an airhead. He left something this big behind.”
Pouting, Ren set Luman’s bundle carefully off to one side again.
What had he bought?
“Ah!”
Still crouched, Ren abruptly sprang to his feet as if something had just occurred to him. He started rummaging through his own bundle, then stopped and let out a relieved look.
“Haaah. Right... I already put it in.”
Maybe that was lucky, at least.
The gift he’d wanted to give Luman. He’d been too embarrassed to hand it to him directly, so he’d planned to tell him to check his luggage on the day he left.
He wouldn’t fail to find it, would he?
Ren pictured the small gift he had wrapped so carefully.
Would he like it?
If this was how it was going to turn out, I should’ve just given it to him directly. Then I could’ve seen his reaction.
No, if I’d done that, I probably wouldn’t have managed to give it to him at all! Why the hell did he have to sneak off at dawn? A belated resentment rose in him.
I should’ve just not given it to him.
Thinking spitefully, Ren crouched down again.
He glared at Luman’s bundle like it had offended him, then stood back up.
“Did he say he left a note?”
To check what Jepeto had said, Ren went over to the table and picked up the paper.
[The finest thing about the Tempesto Festival is the roasted sparrow. But what I enjoyed most was walking through the festival streets with the Heroes and Ren, eating tanghulu together!]
Jepeto’s large, bold note caught his eye first. Oh, what the hell, Jepeto. Your handwriting’s actually good. Then again, he was good at sewing too, and good at embroidery, so maybe that made sense. He really did seem to be good at anything he did with his hands.
But the content was childish. Was roasted sparrow really that good? Maybe I should’ve tried at least one bite.
'Tanghulu...'
The more he read the note, the darker Ren’s expression grew. The tanghulu really had been delicious. The sugar had been sweet, the strawberries bright and fresh. It already felt like something from long ago—that moment when they had all stood there eating together and laughing. Every one of them had finished theirs without leaving a single bite.
Why was something as simple as eating together lingering in his chest like this, like some special memory?
No. I’m only getting weak because my heart’s weak right now.
Because they all left. Without even giving me time to prepare...
“Hoo...”
Letting out a long breath, Ren read the small line written beneath Jepeto’s note.
It was such a short sentence, but it took him much longer to read than Jepeto’s note. No—maybe “took strength” would be the better way to put it.
Plop.
A teardrop fell onto the page.
[The days we spent together were moving.]
“...Moving?”
Ren muttered blankly.
A memory rose up.
‘What are you curious about?’
‘Nothing much. Just... who you were close to, what the village was like, stuff like that? I’m a little curious about the life of someone who’s lived in one place for a long time.’
‘There’s nothing moving about it.’
Luman’s reply to Ren’s grumbling had stayed lodged in his mind.
‘I’m just curious about an ordinary life. I’m not big on moving things. Life isn’t like that.’
The bonfire burning fiercely in the settled dark, the sparks flying into the air, those eyes that had looked so empty.
Ren read Luman’s note again.
[The days we spent together were moving.]
Even looking at it again, the words he had left behind didn’t change.
“You said life wasn’t like that...”
He’d been told to write down something fun, and instead he wrote, The days we spent together were moving.
“That’s too much.”
At last, the tears he had barely managed to hold back burst free.
His churning heart, his hurt, his sadness, the way he felt wounded and let down—he’d been hiding all of it so well, pretending he was fine. He hadn’t wavered. He had swallowed everything, pretended not to notice, and tried to just forget it.
Luman’s note ruined all of that.
Once the tears started spilling, they showed no sign of stopping.
The world was cruel.
Like always, Ren had no choice but to think the thing he had been trying so hard to forget: that whenever he let himself be happy without worrying, that happiness vanished like a mirage. He didn’t know who to blame, but he felt like someone had stolen his happiness from him.
No parting was ever all right.
Not the kind where someone silently slipped away.
Not the kind where they explained first and still left.
Both hurt the same. Both left the same raw pain in his chest.
“Hic... hhk...”
Ren cried as quietly as he could.
Luman. Brother...
He already missed him.
I shouldn’t have said that to my brother...
The anger that had lost its target turned into sorrow again and came crashing back like a wave. That wave beat down on him mercilessly, as if trying to drag him into a deep sea of despair.
Even when Temar hurt Ren with harsh words, in the end it never remained as anger or resentment.
It always settled into the form of emotion Ren knew best.
Longing. Regret.
Ren didn’t want to go through any more goodbyes.
He wasn’t strong enough to swallow anything sadder than this.
“Kgh— hhk...”
Maybe because he was so worked up, Ren’s breathing turned ragged. It was hard to breathe. But there was no one here who could help him right now. He didn’t even have the strength to call Jepeto. No sound would come out. Gasping for breath, Ren crawled forward on his knees. Scraping clumsily at the floor, groping around, he shoved his loosened-bandaged hand into his bundle and fumbled through it with difficulty. He finally managed to pull out a piece of sweet jelly that caught under his fingers and forced it into his throat.
He couldn’t even get through half ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) of it before spitting some out onto the floor, and only barely managed to choke down the rest, but it just sat there in his throat, painfully uncomfortable.
After coughing and gagging, Ren collapsed to the floor and wrapped his trembling body with his arms, curling up like a bug.
Thankfully, the medicine began to work.
After staying curled up for ten minutes or so, his breathing slowly returned to its normal rhythm.
'Let’s leave.'
I hate this now.
Even if he went to the capital, what would be waiting for Ren there would still be parting. The kind of parting he had spent his whole life enduring.
Ren wanted to break up with parting itself. He didn’t have the confidence to keep enduring it anymore.
He had thought memories would be enough, but they weren’t. Ren had been wrong. Good memories only made him more attached to life. To Ren, who had spent his time trapped in the shack, passing the days with loneliness and waiting, the world had been too wide, too fun, too happy. He had only now come to understand how wide the world was, and the thought that he had to turn his back on all of it—that the time to do that was drawing closer and closer—was unbearably painful. That too was another kind of suffering. It felt as if even the little bit of heart he had left, already worn away and crumbling, was being smashed to pieces.
It felt unfair.
Why was I... born with such a weak body?
Why did I get sick?
What did I do wrong?
A way of thinking he had never once fallen into through all his years of illness began to consume Ren.
All I did was wait for my brother, and I was happy whenever I saw him. Every moment was just precious and happy. Even while I got angry at him, it made me happy that I could still wait for him, and it made me happy that he came back.
I thought that was enough.
I thought my whole world could be filled with just Temar alone.
But it wasn’t.
The world had been brighter and more colorful than that.
Bang—bang—!
The fireworks began. Yellow and red and white and blue burst across the sky, drawing patterns in green and violet as they sparkled.
Ren’s face was washed in all kinds of colors. He turned his head and looked out the window. The fireworks were more beautiful than he had imagined.
He had never known they could be this beautiful.
Just like people’s kindness and goodwill, good food, the fun of laughing and playing together.
'Would it have been better if I had never known? Would it hurt less if I hadn’t?'
Then maybe he wouldn’t have had to feel this attachment, this sense of injustice. Maybe it would have been better to stay trapped inside small happiness.
But he couldn’t go back to not knowing.
Maybe it would’ve been better if I had just died quietly in that shack, Ren thought blankly.
The fireworks reflected in his green eyes.
What had beautifully embroidered the sky disappeared, leaving behind only pale smoke. Ren kept staring upward until even that smoke was gone.
'Let’s leave.'
With tears dripping steadily down his face, Ren packed his things.
Like Temar, who had coldly turned his back on him.
Like Luman, who had left without a word.
Let’s disappear.
Temar would be fine.
Luman would be fine too.
Temar would, as always, be the Hero who followed the king’s command for the sake of others.
And Luman would eventually find a family who would care for him.
Jepeto too had only been dragged here against his will, and he’d probably be happiest going back to the hometown he’d drunkenly talked about, living there and tending his herb fields.
Everyone had a place of their own, so it wouldn’t matter if Ren disappeared. If anything, that would probably help everyone return to where they belonged.
So let’s end the pleasant dream here.
Because every journey has to end someday.