She wanted him strong.

She had always wanted that.

Not because she needed him to be. She loves him, and would lay down her life without hesitation to protect him.

But because he needed it.

He was an exorcist.

A Reizen.

He could pretend otherwise. He could run, fill his days with normal things, surround himself with people who didn’t see what he saw, make normal friends, go on normal dates.

It wouldn’t matter.

The spirit world would find him.

It always did.

The ones with the sight never stayed untouched.

He needed to survive the moments she wasn’t there.

And there would be moments.

She was honest about that.

She could be sealed.

She could be destroyed.

She had died before.

She could die again.

She would come back.

She always did.

But...

Kaito would not.

If he died once, that was the end.

Even imagining made her heart ache.

So she would push him.

Quietly.

At his pace.

In ways he would not see while they were happening. Only later. Only when it was too late to step back. Only if he knew.

She would not let him forget what he was.

She would not let the world take him because he chose to be soft.

Because he was coming back to her.

Whatever happened.

She had decided that a long time ago.

She sat on the edge of the bed.

She looked at his face.

Really looked.

At the way his lashes rested against his cheek. At the slight part of his lips.

At the bruise on his jaw, darkening now, something she had watched happen and had allowed to happen because stopping it would have meant stepping in.

Her chest tightened.

She reached out.

Her fingers touched his cheek.

Light.

Careful.

His skin was warm.

Her throat closed around that.

Her eyes stung.

"I’m sorry," she said, very quietly.

He didn’t stir.

She knew he wouldn’t.

She said it anyway.

"That was my doing Kai... The ghost. Hana."

Her thumb moved once along his cheekbone.

Slow.

Lingering.

"I made it happen. For you."

The words stayed there for a moment, hanging in the quiet room, and she did not take them back.

She was not the right person for him.

She had known that for a long time.

Knowing it had never changed anything.

He had fallen too easily for the human girl. The human girl was warm. Simple. She asked nothing of him that he could not give without breaking.

Shizuka was not warm.

She was not simple.

And just being with her kept him at the bay of risk.

That did not change what he was to her.

She watched his chest rise.

Fall.

Rise again.

Time moved.

A minute.

Five.

Fifteen.

Sixty.

Three Hundred.

He did not wake.

He lay there open and unguarded, his energy drained to nothing, his hands loose on the mattress, his breathing slow and steady.

Completely hers to protect.

Or to harm.

She sat with that.

She folded her hands in her lap.

Tried to be still.

Looked at the wall.

Waited for the restlessness to pass.

It didn’t.

It stayed in her chest.

In her hands.

At the back of her throat.

A pressure with nowhere to go.

She needed to do something with her hands.

She slid off the bed and knelt beside it.

Close.

She reached for his right hand.

Carefully.

As if he might break if she moved too quickly.

She lifted it and held it between both of hers.

His hand was heavy with sleep.

Warm.

Unresisting.

She pressed his palm flat against her chest.

Over her heart.

Held it there.

Through the thin fabric of her top, she could feel the heat of his skin against her.

Her heartbeat under it.

Fast.

Unsteady.

She closed her eyes.

She stayed like that for a moment.

Then she brought his hand to her cheek.

The warmth of his palm against her face pulled tight in her chest.

She turned into it slightly and let out a slow breath.

Her cheek pressed into his hand. She rubbed against it, and stilled there, holding it in place.

"You were so cool tonight, Kai," she said quietly.

"The best. Really impressive. Ten out of ten exorcism."

She opened her eyes.

His hand was still in hers.

She looked at it.

The scraped knuckles. The faint roughness of his palm. The dampness that hadn’t fully dried from the night.

Her fingers tightened around his hand.

Just a little.

Just a lick.

"Just once," she murmured.

She lifted it slowly to eye level.

Paused.

Then extended her tongue and touched the center of his palm.

A soft contact.

Warm.

Salt against her tongue.

Him.

She drew back.

Swallowed.

Her breath changed.

Her eyes darkened. Her pupils widened, just slightly.

She leaned in again.

This time she didn’t hesitate.

Her tongue moved across his palm, slower, tracing upward with intent.

She felt the texture of his skin, the faint lines, the heat that lingered there.

Her grip tightened to keep his hand steady as she moved.

She turned his hand over.

Pressed her lips to the back of it.

Held them there.

Then turned it again.

Back to the palm.

Her breath came softer now.

Closer.

She brought his fingers to her mouth.

The index finger rested against her lips for a moment.

Then she drew it in.

Her eyes closed.

Her tongue moved against it, slow, memorizing the shape, the warmth, the taste that was only his.

Her breathing deepened, uneven now, her shoulders rising slightly with it.

She pulled back just enough to take the next.

The middle finger.

Slower this time.

Her hold on his hand tightened again, not enough to hurt, just enough to keep him exactly where she wanted him.

Then back to the first.

Lingering.

Holding it there longer—

Kaito’s hand flinched.

Shizuka went completely rigid.

She froze with his finger between her lips. No breath. No movement.

One second.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

He didn’t wake.

His breathing stayed slow. Even. His face didn’t change.

She eased his finger out of her mouth.

Slowly.