Global Music Star.

An award given to singers who are globally popular among children. Strictly speaking, an award given by American children.

If you only hear that much, you might think, it’s just a kids’ popularity vote, so nothing big.

The problem is that the winners of this Global Music Star award are usually singers from the U.S. or the U.K.

Combine those two markets and you get roughly forty percent of the global music market.

Since the nominees are artists active in a market like that, competition was fierce even for a so-called trivial award.

Simply put, it wasn’t an award that foreign singers easily win.

TNT was nominated back in 2014, when they were at peak popularity, but I heard they stopped at just a nomination.

And yet...

Right now we’re on the verge of winning.

With a special opportunity, too.

"We have slime ready! Hahaha!"

While my brothers and I looked around, trembling with nerves—

A twenty-something star in a yellow dress came on stage. A beauty with brown hair in bouncy curls.

"Hi, kids! I’m Becky Tyler!"

Jiho whispered to me.

"Teenage star. I think she was super popular on a kids’ TV show."

"Teenage?"

"Yeah."

"Teen-age?"

"Yes, brother."

I think I see why, whenever we come to the West, they call people ten-somethings at us.

With a cute face, Becky Tyler cooed at the kids, checked her cue cards, and smiled like a pro.

"The category I’m presenting is Global Music Star. It goes to musicians who are globally popular."

The kids answered with cheers.

"Aren’t you dying to know who wins?"

Becky Tyler lifted the trophy.

An orange blimp.

A blimp-shaped trophy about the size of a rugby ball; I heard it’s the TV channel’s symbol.

That’s why from the start of the show till now, a giant blimp prop had been slowly circling the stage.

"Whoa..."

Staring at the trophy, Jiho whispered to me,

"If we win that trophy, can I hold it. I called dibs."

"How old are you."

"Twenty."

"...Fine. You hold it."

Becky Tyler’s remarks wrapped up.

"I heard competition was really fierce this year, so shall we meet the nominees?"

Nominees rolled on the side screens.

A teen star with a mane of black hair belted at full blast.

[Mandy Spice]

A musician hugely popular with kids and teens.

They say she wins hearts by singing about teen love stories, and personally she’s one of the artists I like.

I can see the back of her head now, nodding along in the seat ahead of us.

[Ocean Five]

A newly debuted rookie boy group—flower-boy boys who do the "noona, you’re the best!" style.

I heard the Brody brothers, Jack and Caleb, are massive kid-presidents.

They were nearby going "Yeah" and high-fiving each other—U.S. version of Teen Spirit vibes.

[Hailey Blue]

While her MV played, I saw Hailey sitting in the distant front rows yawning.

She yawned so hard it made me yawn. 𝐟𝕣𝗲𝕖𝕨𝗲𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝗲𝚕.𝗰𝚘𝐦

My eyes were just starting to water when—

[NewBlack!]

As the MV for "Nine" came on, the kids’ screams exploded like bombs.

— Kyaaaaaaaaaa!

— Waaaaaaaah!

— Gwaaaaaaaaaah!

Stars stared at us wide-eyed, some with an "are you hearing this?" look, some with faces like they’d had enough.

The camera after the VCR did the same.

Our faces—hands to our mouths to stifle yawns, eyes glossy—hit the feed.

"......"

"......"

This is not it.

To strangers, this could make a great headline photo: "Foreign stars moved by children’s cheers."

Our teary-eyed faces got the kid fans even more excited.

— Gwaaaaaaaaaaah!

— NewBlack! NewBlack! NewBlack!

— Waaaaaaaah!

As my little fans pogo-jumped—"Cheer up, my singer!"—my brothers looked at me.

Ri Hyuk’s pupils trembled.

"Uh, what do we do?"

"What do you mean. We keep pretending to cry."

So I just raised both hands to my mouth and pooled up tears.

Left or right, I can summon tears if I want. That’s me.

"Sniff, sniff."

"Sob, sob."

With a moved face, I wiped at the corner of my eye, and stars around us gave small, encouraging claps.

From afar, Hailey nodded with a "you punks" look, satisfied.

"Because of you, Hailey."

"What do you want me to do about it."

While that brief commotion went on—

Becky Tyler, who’d been unable to continue, gave an awkward smile and spoke.

"Wow. That looked fierce. Who will win this one?"

Kid Souffles shouted "NewBlack!" and the Galen Center began to vibrate.

"Did you see that."

"That is the power of Souffle."

Feeling pointlessly proud, we rubbed our noses and looked to the stage.

Becky Tyler cleared her throat.

"Then I’ll announce tonight’s winner. The winner is..."

With a classic American smile, Becky shouted,

"Congratulations. NewBlack!"

Smiling wide with my brothers, I stood up.

— Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

We waved to the adorable Souffles and headed to the stage.

Becky Tyler, beaming, handed us the blimp.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

Jiho accepted the trophy with a big smile, and we turned our eyes back to the cameras and crowd.

My voice flowed through the mic.

"Wow..."

From up here it was even more of a spectacle.

Strange foreign kids, in every corner of the seats, chanting NewBlack! NewBlack! and calling our name.

I borrowed the trophy from Jiho to give our speech.

"Thank you, Kids’ Choice!"

Maybe because we’ve won the grand prize at home before, I felt zero nerves—just comfortable.

"When Kids’ Choice first invited us, none of us knew what kind of awards show [N O V E L I G H T] this was. We wondered if a new awards show had popped up in Korea."

My brothers nodded.

"They said it’s a children’s awards show. So, as children do, we did our homework and looked up the Kids’ Choice Awards. We did an enormous amount of research."

A slight pause.

"We read Wikipedia for about five minutes on the plane."

At our warm smiles, the kids burst into giggles.

"According to Wikipedia, this awards show was born to reflect the choices of children—because children can create change."

I lifted the trophy.

"Your choice clearly made change. Thank you."

The tiny Souffles’ roar shook the hall.

Maybe because the next segment needed a moment to set up—

From below the stage, they signaled us to keep going, so I kept smiling and spoke on.

"They want us to continue our speech. OK. We might not be able to come to this award again, so let me give the children a bit of life advice. Advice from us, the model Korean children."

Junghyun stepped up to the mic.

"It’s good to eat plenty of vegetables."

— Booooooo!

The kids booed playfully.

Why is Hailey booing with them.

"On that note, we recommend pizza."

— Kyaaaaaah!

While Hailey nodded and clapped at Junghyun’s line—

This time Jiho spoke.

"When your parents tell you something, it’s usually good to listen."

— Booooooo!

"That way you get allowance money to buy our albums."

— Waaaaaaaaaah!

Big laughter rolled through the venue.

While we bantered with American kids and wrapped up our speech—

Just as we were pleased to end on a sincere note—

"From here on we’ll make great mu..."

As I got the "mu" of "music" out, it happened.

A pipe near the podium.

From that pipe, a cannon of green liquid started blasting at us.

And in that moment—

"...Guys!"

My body moved on reflex.

Just as the five were finishing a stand-up-comedy-style speech—

A pipe in the set near NewBlack erupted in green liquid.

SPLASH!

"...!"

Some audience members jumped, and kid Souffles squealed at the sight of the slime cannon aiming at NewBlack.

"What do we do! What do we do!"

"NewBlack got hit by slime! What do we do!"

"Gaaasp! To get slimed..."

At the sight of a water-cannon blast of slime heading for their ultimate bias, kid Souffles’ eyes went hazy.

"NewBlack got slimed. I’m so happy..."

A rare privilege for only the most popular.

They fidgeted, eager to see their faves drenched in green.

"Huh...?"

What showed up before the children’s eyes was a completely different scene.

The instant the sploosh ended, something covered in green came into view.

A single lump.

"What is that?"

Normally at this point, the stars go eeee and wipe slime off their faces.

What they were seeing was new.

They saw backs turned.

"Huh?"

With their backs turned, Wooju and Junghyun had wrapped the members in their arms. Green slime soaked their backs.

Like a huddle of penguins hiding from a predator, NewBlack raised their heads one by one.

Pop.

Pop.

And met the audience’s eyes.

"......"

"......"

As people laughed at their sheepish, noisy faces, the leader of NewBlack stepped to the mic.

A crisp, clean front view.

The leader smiled, flicking a bit of slime off his hair.

"Ta-da."

With a smile so good a drop on his cheek looked like a sticker.

"We dodged it!"

This time not only the kids but the celebrities clapped and burst out laughing.

No one had seen slime avoided like that.

At the same time, it screamed teamwork. The way the members gazed bright-eyed at the leader who shielded them.

They felt less like a group and more like a family, these K-pop singers.

"Are they brothers or something?"

Smirking proudly, the leader said from within the NewBlack members,

"Thank you for letting us experience something so cool. On that note, let us all bow..."

Just as he was about to say it—

Vrrrrrrrm.

The hangar door on the giant blimp drifting past NewBlack began to open. Inside, liquid shimmered and began to pour.

SPLAAAAASH—!

As NewBlack resumed their proud speech, liquid sheeted down over them.

"......"

As the kids happily shrieked, picturing five silent green men—

"Wait?"

It fizzled again.

No—rather than fizzled...

"What is that."

Like No-Face, the five had their suit coats pulled over their heads. They met the audience’s eyes.

The crowd started laughing first.

Pop.

Pop.

NewBlack slipped their coats back on properly, smiling as a wave of applause hit.

Singers stroked their chins.

"They dodged that."

"Do I need to learn taekwondo too."

"K-pop... a scary field."

While the kids clapped like seals—

Aside from the coat area, NewBlack’s faces were spotless; they ruffled their hair and smiled.

Suit coats turned completely green.

From within them, the beautiful leader winked.

"Well, I didn’t know this was dodgeable."

A greatest moment of the 2017 Kids’ Choice Awards was born.

"It is."

Backstage.

As NewBlack came down tossing the line "Green is the new black," screams erupted in the control room.

"Damn it!"

"A misfire!"

The show directors clenched their fists, faces flushed.

"They dodged it!"

"Just take one hit for once!"

It’s not that they have to get slimed.

They can dodge.

"Can they dodge?"

Whenever certain celebrities ask that question, the directors always smile.

"Yes. You can dodge. All you want! That’s fun too."

Of course, the words "if dodging is possible" were omitted.

It’s just that no one with reflexes sharp enough to dodge this slime had ever existed.

When you fire, they get hit.

It’s like everyone knows you live if you dodge a bullet when someone fires, but in reality you can’t.

"Phew, a failure..."

The executive producer sighed, regretful.

The team had studied hard to slime NewBlack. At first, they figured they could just dump it.

The moment they searched MiTube for NewBlack TV for research, they changed their minds.

"Look at this. These kids dodge water cannons."

"How do you dodge a water cannon?"

"Like this."

"They really dodge..."

So they dug a double trap.

Fire once to lower their guard, and if that didn’t work, dump from above as a second salvo.

Even then, only their coats got soaked. NewBlack sparkled on stage with clean faces.

"A tough opponent...!"

They trembled when, before getting off the stage, NewBlack turned to them and cheekily said, "Prepare something stronger next time."

"Hoo, hoo..."

While the staff searched "slime machine gun"—

Watching the next segment continue after NewBlack came down, one producer asked,

"By the way, these guys are going to be quite the buzz, right?"

"No."

The EP shook his head.

"Not quite—massively."

"Right. This is a first, yeah? Since 1979 has any celebrity... dodged slime like that?"

"The first."

And they made it fun.

They’d already heard these foreign stars had huge social reach; the scene they made tonight felt like it would buzz with the general public too.

Three million viewers were watching right now.

Including the main audience—children—and their parents.

Factor in that ripple effect, and the name NewBlack would be branded into a lot of minds.

"Good for us."

In truth, NewBlack’s name recognition wasn’t high enough to joke about.

They had a huge fanbase, but compared to other stars, general-public recognition was very low.

Which made sense—they’d never worked in the U.S.

On the other hand, their fanbase was so huge that their firepower on socials was tremendous.

"What about sliming these guys this year?"

So with ratings dropping year by year, they planned the slime bomb to at least capture social media firepower.

Even if they’d just taken the hit, it would’ve been fine.

Seeing them turn it into a clip likely to blow up in views was impressive.

"They say they’re singers and also Korea’s best comedians."

Now it made sense why that reputation existed.

As EP, he smiled, deeply satisfied.

"But the most important thing is we have a story now."

"A story?"

"If those guys keep getting bigger. If they come back to Kids’ Choice next year—we’ll have a story, right? Kids’ Choice vs NewBlack, that kind of diagram."

"Ah."

Draw buzz as a battle of wills between producers trying to hit them and singers trying to dodge.

Great ideas for business popped up.

Of course—

All of that assumes the group grows even more popular...

"I saw them for the first time today, but I definitely get why they’re big."

"I heard they’re national-treasure tier back in Korea."

Everyone nodded.

The way they wrangle kids, the way your eyes keep getting pulled to them, that shine—star quality.

Maybe they’re already the top stars at home.

"Anyway..."

The EP smiled.

"Just you wait, NewBlack..."

"Ehehehe..."

The directors, eyes gleaming, watched NewBlack—now freshly changed, seated, staring into their trophy.

As the 2017 Kids’ Choice Awards wrapped, having birthed an iconic moment—

Problems the organizers hadn’t expected popped up as they checked online reaction.

"Huh...?"

"Why is this reaction like this? Uh...?"

"Why so vicious?"

The organizers panicked.

"What—what is this."

An enormous mass of ordinary citizens from NewBlack’s home, Korea, came charging in with furious faces.

"You bastards!"

"...Pardon?"

"How dare these bastards dump slime on our kids!"

"Wait... why are you like this!"

Koreans hurled comments like stones.

For the organizers, it was utterly baffling.