Control room.

The panelists’ mouths hung open.

"What are we even watching right now."

"Dracula’s getting beaten up. Yep."

"Are we allowed to hit Dracula?" 𝙧𝙚𝙚𝔀𝒆𝓫𝓷𝙤𝓿𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝙤𝓶

PD Yeo Hoseok answered.

"Yes. It’s allowed. Normally, physical attacks wouldn’t register... but because they coated the weapons with holy water, direct hits now work."

"Right, Taehyun and Jiho are coating their hands with holy water too."

But that wasn’t what the holy water was meant for.

They’d expected NewBlack—cornered by Dracula—to splash holy water and stake him at the last second...

—Die, vampire!

—Sk-kiieek! Kkiek!

At the sight of Wooju jabbing the vampire over and over with a toy knife, the panel burst out laughing.

Anyway, for variety, this was even better.

"As expected of NewBlack. You just can’t tell what’s inside those—no, those humans’—heads."

If the fabled "creative talents of the 21st century" became variety stars, this is what it would look like.

Watching them creatively mess with a vampire, the entertainers smiled in satisfaction.

"We might actually smash ratings this time."

"The moment Wooju put that on, we hit the jackpot. Try describing what we’re seeing right now anywhere else—no one will believe you."

"I believe it."

"Eunseong, get out."

While the panel chattered, the crew stroked their chins, smiling.

The director, remote-driving cameras, said,

"PD Yeo, feels like we’ve struck gold, huh?"

"Jackpot."

It wasn’t the picture they’d aimed for, but who cared.

Sun Wooju in a dress, beating down a vampire with sword and shield? A once-in-a-lifetime shot.

Of course...

"Man."

The audio director, who’d taken off his headphones and was picking his ear, said,

"The lines are so snappy. So snappy. But I wonder if this’ll be okay?"

"Problematic lines? We can just edit..."

"No, not that. The NewBlack members. When the shoot wraps and the lights go off, they’ll snap back to themselves. ‘What did I even say.’"

"They’re going to be mortified."

He meant the culprits would die of embarrassment later.

For now, they were so immersed they had no idea.

PD Yeo turned back to the monitors.

—Kk—kiieeek!

—Hyung! We got one of the brides!

—Second bride~ stop right there~!

Sitting on Junhyun’s shoulders, Biju coaxed in a lilting voice as they went after Dracula’s three brides.

—Please surrender. We’re pacifists.

—Kiieeek!

—If you let us catch you, we’ll purify you.

Knight and lady combined like a transforming robot—boom, boom, boom—as they took out the three vampires.

"Hmm."

Watching that, PD Yeo smiled.

‘They look like villains no matter how I see it.’

It was supposed to be a noble scene of heroes vanquishing vampires.

On the monitor, it looked more like wicked baddies assaulting innocent citizens.

"Heh-heh-heh-heh."

"The blood of vampires is sweet."

"Vampires aren’t much. Heh-heh."

Not villain lines.

Those were ours—spoken by the righteous who’d just wiped out the forces of evil.

"Are the brides all caught?"

"Yes. We purified them with holy water."

Lady Biju fluttered his fan with a gentle laugh.

Split in two and each hunting vampires, the teams checked results and regrouped.

"Then escape is all that’s left."

Junhyun asked,

"Hyung, did you find the key?"

"Yeah."

We took a necklace from Dracula’s neck. The key dangling from it was the one that would start the underground boat.

A long breath slipped out among the kids.

Over.

Now it was really over.

"Alright. Let’s board and ride down nice and easy."

"Go-go-go!"

Arm in arm, trading high-fives and warm laughter—

[WEE-OO—]

[cuckoo—]

[WEE-OO—!!]

[BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM—]

All kinds of sounds rang through the castle, like every clock inside had started chiming at once.

Taehyun and the kids clung to me.

"W-what is this?"

"Uh—?"

Everyone’s eyes went wide at the ominous turn.

The radio crackled.

—Ah-ah! Extremely urgent update! Do you read?

"Yes! We hear you!"

—It looks like a failsafe triggered when Dracula died.

"What?!"

—This castle is linked to Count Dracula’s soul, and with that link broken, the castle is collapsing.

What was this, Bluetooth installed in a castle?

Like "the phone unpaired, so the earbuds self-destruct"—the logic stunned me for a second.

—As fast as you can! You need to get to the boat!

Before the words finished, the kids bolted. I grabbed Taehyun and sprinted.

Junhyun hoisted Biju.

As we ran like mad, the maknae yelled,

"Aaagh! Why is the boat so far!"

"Because somebody went for an early kill!"

"Ri Hyuk! How is that my fault!"

Huffing beside me, Ri Hyuk shouted,

"Normally we’d get chased to the end and counter with holy water at the last second!"

"Right!"

"But we went all the way to the front yard and killed Dracula!"

"...!"

In other words, the usual route is: you kill Dracula and escape immediately from a collapsing castle.

We’d marched into the enemy’s main stronghold and eliminated him there.

"Dammit! We should’ve taken him hostage!"

"Too late to regret it!"

As we passed through a door, its shutter began to descend with a whir.

The hatch to the lower level started dropping, too.

"Run!"

We kept running and running—till our lungs hit the top of our throats—before we finally reached the boat.

"Phew..."

Everyone panted, bracing on walls or collapsing to a crouch.

I locked eyes with Taehyun as he wiped beaded sweat, and we traded a small laugh.

"Hoo."

Head back, I felt sweat trickle down my face and neck, breathing deep.

When the dizziness eased a little,

I grabbed my original lackey’s outstretched hand and stood up. My legs were just about to wobble.

"Alright. Let’s go home."

All six of us linked hands and turned Count Dracula’s key; the flume ride lit up.

[da-da-dan DAA-da-dan~!]

[Welcome to The Secret of Dragon Castle Escape Route!]

Park-bright lights washed the dark cavern, and we all smiled at each other.

Now it really was over.

"Ugh. Do we actually have to use this to escape?"

We sat the queasy Ri Hyuk dead center.

We laughed as he gripped the bar so hard you could see the bones in his hands.

"Hm?"

We tilted our heads at the one person not boarding.

"Sen— no, Mr. H?"

"Mr. H! Get on!"

But Taehyun put on a forlorn smile and shook his head.

"I can’t."

"Why?"

"Someone has to operate the boat."

"Ah..."

It was a six-seater. But someone had to pull the lever there and work the controls for the boat to release.

Junhyun said,

"I think I could..."

"Junhyun."

"Yes."

"Let’s not do anything dumb."

"Not sure you should talk, the guy who wore a dress and swung a sword..."

Muttering meekly, Junhyun looked away from my narrowing eyes.

Sure, he could work the controls and then—boing!—jump into the boat. Not physically impossible.

In teenspeak: totally doable.

But this wasn’t actual reality, and pulling that would get the PD roasted for breaking safety protocol.

"If I’d known, we should’ve captured Dracula alive... make him operate it, then finish him with holy water at the end."

"You keep saying stuff like that and you really sound like a villain, hyung."

"That guy wasn’t exactly a paragon either."

I felt a pang over the alternate story route that could’ve been a happier ending.

Playing it pitiable, Taehyun said,

"Thanks to you, the wicked vampire’s gone. I’m lucky. To be honest, without you I’d have died."

"Facts."

"We saved you."

"Be grateful."

At our Dooly-family-level cheek, Taehyun’s face briefly morphed into a Mr. Go look.

"Well... it’s time to say goodbye. I’ll never forget the memories we made together."

"Aw. I wanted to leave together."

"Then..."

He worked the controls; we waved.

Taehyun went, "Ah!" and said,

"And when Count Dracula died, my name came back! My name is Han..."

Thunk!

The mechanism engaged and Taehyun jolted with a "Wo!"

We burst into tears.

"Mr. Hanwoo!"

Could there be a more beautiful name.

As our boat moved forward, Taehyun ran out.

"No, that’s not my name...!"

"We won’t forget you, Mr. Hanwoo!"

"Mr. Hanwoo!"

"We love you, Mr. Hanwoo!"

We muffled Taehyun’s mouth with our shouts and waved as we slid away.

He sprinted after us, shouting "My name is—!" but the waterfall swallowed the rest.

We’d bagged a great variety moment...

Whooom!

"Huh?"

Whoooooom!

"Aaaaaugh!"

"Aaaaah!"

Riding the waterway, the flume dropped fast and our bodies pitched.

Our screams rang through the cave as the flume wound along and hit the final stretch.

[Who trespasses in my castle!]

A dragon, built for the attraction, yawned its maw wide; a passage ran between its legs.

"Aaaaargh!"

Before we could brace—whoosh!—a drop, and water splashed everywhere!

[SPLAAAASH!]

"Gah—hck!"

"Pt-too! Pt-too!"

I shook out my slightly damp hair.

Then met eyes with the kids, all soaked like drowned rats.

"Mwahahaha!"

Pointless giggles kept bubbling out.

As the boat glided on, we passed the so-called cavern laundry Junhyun had mentioned.

At last, an entrance to the outside appeared.

Bright lights and the buzz of voices reached us, and our hearts started to race.

And as the boat crossed the cave mouth—

[fwheeeew!]

[POP!]

Fireworks the crew launched burst in the air—pop!

Panels, crew, and actors greeted us with bright faces.

"Waaaaaaa!"

We disembarked, all hugging and dancing.

Escape, successful.

After the ending shoot, we walked around shaking hands with the staff.

"Great work!"

"Great job!"

Even mid breakdown, everyone looked happy.

"Thanks to you, we got a ton of footage. This alone can carry a three-week run. Haha."

PD Yeo, face glowing a full 200 percent satisfaction, clasped my hands tight.

"I won’t forget your heroics, Wooju."

"Yeah..."

"Don’t be too embarrassed. °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° You pulled off something big."

"In more ways than one."

Thinking about facing people I knew after this aired, the corners of my eyes went a little damp.

I wrapped with the PD and headed to our guest.

"You really worked hard, Taehyun."

"As long as you know."

We traded check-ins.

"When I’m free, you’re busy. When you’re free, I’m busy. We’re impossible to meet."

"Right. How long has it been?"

"Since we’ve met anyway, want to grab food? I was going to take the Dracula actor out. Beef?"

"Hmm..."

Taehyun pulled out his phone and squinted.

I watched his eyes roll over the schedule—pushing forward, pulling back—and tapped him with a laugh.

"Let’s just eat next time."

"Ah. That won’t do. If not today, there’s no chance..."

"Today’s not the only day."

"...When did you say your flight was?"

"This Friday."

We wracked our brains to carve out time, but nothing matched.

Taehyun clicked his tongue.

"Who told you to go and succeed like this."

"Not today? Truly no time?"

"If your escape had run later, maybe—but you got out too early... I’ve got recording."

"Then it can’t be helped."

I patted my gloomy junior’s shoulder and promised a next time.

I waved to the original lackey sulking about missing a free meal. Even as he got into the car with his manager, he kept waving back at me.

Biju came up.

"He’s not eating?"

"Yeah. No time."

Just then, Eunseong slipped in with a "heh-heh-heh, I enter."

"Where were you?"

"Hiding from Senior Han a bit..."

I asked the sycophant-whispering Eunseong,

"Why?"

"There’s something... scary. He’s strict top-to-bottom."

Eunseong’s madness is fake.

He snaps lucid like this, intermittently.

I traded a playful salute with the "junior in the unit" who’d been clinging for praise.

They said they were heading to a team dinner with the panel.

With the long shoot wrapped, we took our managers and approached a group.

"Hello!"

The actors who’d stayed to the end of today’s shoot.

We’d suffered together.

"Are you by any chance hungry?"

Above all, there was something we wanted to offer them.

A budae-jjigae place in Hwaseong.

We found a spot that stayed open late through our managers.

"This is the one. I lined it up in advance."

Manager Minsu introduced the place with a face full of pride, shoulders squared.

His eyes sparkled.

"Thanks for inviting us."

Polite face, lips twitching up underneath.

To the foreign actors getting out of the cars behind us, he said,

"Have you tried much Korean food?"

"Not the real stuff. We just landed yesterday and only ate what the lodging served."

I flinched seeing Mr. Hanson—the man who’d played the cannibal—lick his lips.

It’d been an hour since the escape, but the afterimage lingered.

The actors who’d played the cannibal, Dracula, and Dracula’s brides followed us into the restaurant, still a little dazed.

The owner greeted us with joy.

"This place serves something called budae-jjigae. The short name is bu-jji."

"Oooooh. Bu-jji."

"Bu-jji," the three brides’ actresses echoed, giggling.

They didn’t refuse when we offered to treat them; the leads who’d stayed till the end came along.

Mr. Hanson pulled out a sheet of paper.

"I heard you’re the most famous here. Just in case—could I get autographs to take to my granddaughter?"

We signed in quick strokes, took V photos with the actors,

and chatted a bit.

"So you all worked part-time at the theme park."

"Yeah. Maybe a year now?"

The brides and Dracula shared their backgrounds.

Each had their little behind-the-scenes as to how they got the job, but the broad strokes were similar.

They worked the park to cover living costs while auditioning.

Helen, one of the brides, said she’d played Cinderella in the parade.

The other two said they’d been Snow White and Rapunzel.

"What about you, Mr. Hanson?"

"Not long for me, either."

He’d retired as an accountant and wanted a second life—so he’d tried acting.

"Late start or not, if I work till my 80s, that’s a 10-year actor, no? Just gotta stay healthy. The competition leaves this world pretty fast."

We all fought smiles at the elder’s thesis—"if you just endure, your competition vanishes."

Maybe because they were all actor-hopefuls, everyone had a humor to them.

As the food arrived, the topic shifted.

"This dish is called budae-jjigae. After countless meals with American guests, we’ve learned—they like this."

"Oooooh."

"Even Hailey Blue raved about it."

She’d had it maybe three times in Korea.

In Hailey’s words—"shibal great." So they’d probably love it, too.

With that thought, it was time to get to the point.

We’d wanted to treat them to a meal, sure—but there was something else we wanted to ask.

"By the way."

Eyes turned to me as I steered the topic.

"Watching your fantastic performances, we had a thought of our own. There’s something we wanted to ask..."

"What is it?"

"It’s not a firm offer—we’re just sounding out interest first."

The actors’ eyes flashed—"an opportunity?"

"Would you be interested in sharing a stage with us once?"

They brightened instantly.

"Absolutely!"

"The more chances, the better. Heh-heh."

"Do we act behind you on stage, like that?"

As they sipped water, excited, the actor who played Dracula—Lucas—asked,

"Excuse me."

"Yes."

"What sort of stage do you mean? We should know that first..."

"Ah."

We answered,

"The Billboard Music Awards."

"Gk—!"

The Americans, mid-sip, sprayed water in a fine mist.