"So, I heard you rejected another female cadet again."

Claudia narrowed her eyes slightly while staring at Ezra from across the office.

The evening sunlight entered through the open window behind her, casting long shadows across the room filled with stacked documents, weapon maintenance reports, and training schedules.

Ezra scratched his cheek awkwardly.

Compared to the weak and skinny new recruit who once fainted after ten laps during morning drills, he now looked completely different.

His shoulders had broadened.

His body finally carried proper muscle from constant training, and the childish look he once had had mostly disappeared. Even though Ezra still wasn’t as physically imposing as some soldiers in the camp, the hidden potential in his appearance had finally surfaced after years of training and proper meals.

Without realizing it...

He had become popular, especially among the female recruits.

A lot of them openly stared at him during drills now. Some purposely tried talking to him after training sessions and others watched him quietly whenever he worked on firearms inside the engineering section.

It honestly felt strange to Ezra.

Very strange.

"Don’t you care about love at all?"

Claudia crossed her legs while leaning back against her chair.

Even though her tone sounded casual, Ezra somehow felt pressure from her gaze.

"Relationships inside the camp are slightly prohibited officially," she continued calmly, "but that doesn’t mean people aren’t allowed to date, although strict rules must be followed."

A faint smile appeared on her face.

"But honestly, it’s obvious there are hidden romances happening everywhere in this base."

The smile looked soft.

Yet for some reason...

Ezra instinctively stepped backward, because mixed inside that smile was something dangerous.

Something sharp.

"I don’t really know about all that..."

Ezra replied awkwardly while avoiding her eyes.

"For now, I’m only interested in becoming a weapons engineer and serving the country properly."

His voice sounded sincere and deep inside his mind...Another thought appeared quietly.

And I’m still someone drowning in debt.

No matter how stable life inside the military became, Ezra still remembered why he joined in the first place.

Survival.

Not because he had righteous dreams, not because of patriotism.

Just survival.

Claudia stared at him silently for a few seconds, then she slowly stood up from her chair.

Ezra immediately moved backward again; his heart skipped slightly.

Did I say something wrong?

His thoughts instantly raced.

Claudia walked closer calmly.

The sound of her boots against the floor echoed lightly inside the room, then she stopped directly in front of him.

"I’m the one who turned you into what you are now."

She reached out and adjusted his collar even though it was already perfectly neat.

"So don’t start thinking that because you suddenly became popular, you can secretly flirt with girls behind my back, idiot."

Her tone sounded calm, but Ezra somehow felt his entire body stiffen.

Then...

She turned around and headed toward the door. Right before leaving, Claudia paused slightly.

"Clean this place before locking up."

She glanced back at him briefly, then she left.

Ezra released a long-exhausted sigh immediately after the door closed.

"I’m not even on cleaning duty today..."

He muttered bitterly while glancing around the office.

Still...

He started cleaning anyway, because refusing Claudia’s orders usually led to suffering and Ezra already learned that lesson many times.

By the time he finished cleaning and locked the office properly, the night had already deepened.

The military dormitory remained noisy as usual with some cadets laughing loudly, while others argued over card games.

A few exhausted soldiers simply collapsed onto their beds the moment they returned.

Ezra entered his room while dragging his tired body lazily.

The moment his roommates noticed him...Their eyes immediately lit up.

"Well?"

One of them sat upright immediately.

"What happened, with the platoon leader?"

Ezra sighed tiredly before explaining everything that happened inside the office.

The room became silent for a few seconds after hearing the story.

"Yeah... she definitely likes you."

The cadet lying opposite Ezra’s bunk replied immediately without hesitation.

"Relax," the guy sleeping on the upper bunk suddenly cut in while reading a book calmly.

"She probably just thinks Ezra’s getting too full of himself lately."

"But she’s clearly jealous."

Another cadet who came over from a different side of the room wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulder while grinning widely.

"You guys are all delusional."

Ezra scoffed immediately.

"The platoon leader literally hates me more than anyone here."

He pointed at them seriously.

"I’m pretty sure she already has some rich military fiancé waiting for her back home. There’s no way someone like her would like someone like me."

He folded his arms while shaking his head.

"Did you all suddenly forget how many times she called me weak and useless?"

The others immediately burst into laughter.

"Oh, I remember one particular incident very clearly."

The cadet on the upper bunk lowered his book slightly while smirking.

"The day you finally shouted back at her during drills."

Ezra’s face instantly darkened.

"And then she beat your ass properly before punishing you to clean both the male and female hostel bathrooms."

The room exploded into louder laughter.

"And you had to sing the national anthem while scrubbing toilets!"

Another cadet slammed the bed while laughing hard.

Ezra felt his embarrassment increase immediately.

"That punishment was hell..."

He muttered painfully while remembering it clearly, especially what he saw in the female bathrooms.

"I didn’t know women could destroy toilets like that..."

A chill literally ran down his spine just remembering the scene.

The others laughed even harder.

By the end of the night, the group eventually got scolded by senior officers for making too much noise despite being senior cadets themselves.

But honestly...

Ezra enjoyed moments like this.

The punishments, the jokes, the noisy late-night conversations.

For someone who once spent his life alone struggling to survive, this kind of atmosphere felt warm and comfortable.

Like the normal life he always wanted.

Yet...

Beneath all that happiness...

Something dark still remained inside him.

A guilt he couldn’t explain to anyone.

A chain buried deep inside his chest that continued tightening silently whenever he relaxed too much.

Maybe because part of him still believed he didn’t deserve this kind of peaceful life.

The room slowly became quieter afterward.

A few cadets prepared to sleep while others continued small conversations lazily.

The days passed like that, until...

"Why did you all decide to join the army?"

One of the male cadets asked while everyone sat around the campfire.

The fire crackled loudly in the middle of the dark jungle while orange sparks occasionally rose into the night sky. Around them, tall trees stood silently like black shadows watching from every direction, and the cold wind carried the sounds of insects and distant animal cries deeper within the forest.

Ezra’s platoon was currently on a jungle survival training mission.

It had already gotten late.

Some cadets sat on logs while others rested directly on the ground, rifles placed beside them carefully. Their faces glowed faintly from the firelight, and after the exhausting day they had just survived, the atmosphere around the group felt far more relaxed than usual.

"Well, I joined because of the financial benefits."

A male cadet answered first while scratching the back of his head.

"I need the money to support my family."

The way he said it carried pride, not arrogance.

Just simple honesty.

A few cadets nodded immediately with impressed expressions.

"That’s actually mature."

One of the girls smiled slightly.

"Way more mature than most of us here, but mine is different."

One of Ezra’s close friends suddenly stood up dramatically beside the fire.

He placed one boot on a rock while folding his arms proudly.

"I joined the army because I want to become a hero."

The smug expression on his face looked completely serious.

Clearly...

He expected admiration, maybe praise too, but instead...

"Puff..."

A few cadets immediately burst into laughter, then the laughter spread completely around the campfire.

"Hahaha!"

A female cadet laughed so hard she nearly rolled onto the ground.

"I can’t believe he actually said hero!"

Another girl clutched her stomach painfully while pointing at him.

"Hero? Seriously?"

The male cadet froze awkwardly, his face immediately turned red.

"Why are you all laughing?!" He looked around in disbelief. "I’m serious!"

Unfortunately...That only made the laughter worse.

"Ezra, even you’re laughing!"

He pointed accusingly at Ezra.

Ezra quickly covered part of his mouth while trying hard to stop himself from laughing too much.

Honestly...

The situation looked too funny, but deep inside his chest...

Another feeling remained hidden.

This...

This kind of atmosphere was exactly what Ezra secretly wanted.

A place where he could laugh normally, talk normally and forget everything normally.

As time passed and more people shared their reasons for joining the army, Ezra slowly realized something uncomfortable.

Most of their reasons sounded meaningful.

Some joined because of patriotism, others wanted honor, some wanted to support their families and a few simply admired soldiers growing up.

Compared to them...

His own reason felt dirty.

"It’s your turn, Ezra."

Claudia suddenly spoke after returning from her discussion with the sergeants nearby.

She sat down calmly beside the fire while the others immediately looked toward Ezra.

Even Claudia herself had already shared her own reason earlier.

Everyone originally assumed she joined because of family tradition since almost every member of her family served in the military before.

But that assumption was wrong.

Claudia said she joined because she genuinely wanted to serve the country like her great-grandfather, grandfather, and father did before her.

Simple and straightforward.

Yet genuine.

Ezra remembered how serious her eyes looked when she said it.

Compared to that...His own reason felt miserable.

Ezra stared quietly at the flames dancing before him, the firelight reflected faintly in his eyes.

What should I even say?

His fist slowly tightened.

The silence around the campfire gradually became awkward.

"Hey, Ezra..."

One of his friends sitting beside him whispered quietly.

"Don’t tell me you’ve got too many reasons and can’t choose one."

A few cadets laughed lightly while Ezra forced out a smile.

"It’s hard picking just one reason..."

He scratched his cheek awkwardly, then finally...

"I joined the army because I wanted easier access to my babies."

Ezra rubbed the M4 Carbine resting on his lap lovingly while speaking in a completely serious tone.

The cadets blinked at him silently.

Then...

"As expected from the gun freak!"

One of his close friends shouted immediately, making the others burst into loud laughter again.

"Gun addict!"

"You definitely love weapons more than women!"

"Honestly, this answer suits Ezra perfectly!"

Even Claudia shook her head slightly while hiding a small smile.

The atmosphere around the fire became lively again.

Only Ezra felt his chest tighten slightly while laughing together with them.

Because deep down...

He knew he lied.

There was no way they would ever look at me the same if I told them the truth.

That he joined the military because he was drowning in debt, because he was desperate, because he was scared and because he simply wanted to survive.

That ugly reason sat heavily inside his chest while he forced himself to smile alongside everyone else.

The night continued peacefully afterward.

Hours passed slowly.

The campfire became smaller while most cadets eventually returned to their tents to sleep after the exhausting training day.

Only those assigned for night watch duty remained awake around the camp perimeter.

The jungle became quieter and darker.

The sounds of insects echoed continuously through the trees while cold wind brushed against the camp softly.

Ezra still sat beside the fire alone.

His sleeves were rolled up while weapon parts lay spread around him neatly.

One by one...

He carefully serviced the platoon’s firearms.

Cleaning the barrels, checking the bolts and polishing the metal.

The orange firelight reflected across the guns while Ezra worked quietly with practiced hands.

Compared to talking with people...

This felt easier for him.

Calmer.

The mechanical sounds of weapon parts clicking together somehow relaxed his mind more than anything else.

And under the dark jungle sky...

Ezra quietly continued maintaining the guns of the people who unknowingly became the closest thing he had ever experienced to family.

"You really like guns, huh?"

Claudia suddenly sat beside him.

Ezra’s shoulders stiffened slightly from surprise, he immediately turned sharply toward her.

The campfire crackled softly between them while the orange glow from the flames danced across her face.

"Platoon Leader... you’re still awake?"

Ezra looked at her with slight confusion, clearly not expecting her to sit beside him this late into the night.

"I couldn’t sleep."

Claudia replied calmly while staring into the fire, her voice sounded lazy.

Almost tired.

Ezra looked at her properly for a brief moment.

The tied black hair behind her head had loosened slightly after the long training day, leaving a few strands resting against the pale skin of her neck. Her black eyes reflected the firelight quietly, and the military jacket she wore loosely over her shoulders made her look less strict than usual.

For once...

She didn’t feel like a platoon leader.

She looked more like a normal girl around their age.

Ezra quickly turned his attention back toward the rifle parts spread before him.

The metal clicked softly in his hands while he continued assembling the weapon carefully.

Silence slowly filled the space between the two of them.

Only the sounds of the crackling fire, distant insects, and occasional footsteps from the cadets on night watch duty echoed through the jungle camp.

Then...

"Why did you look sad after saying your reason for joining the army?"

Claudia suddenly asked flatly.

The quiet atmosphere instantly shattered and Ezra flinched.

A small gun component slipped from his fingers and dropped onto the ground beside him.

Clink.

He quickly bent down and picked it up.

"Why would you think that?"

Ezra asked while avoiding eye contact completely.

He focused on the rifle in his hands instead.

Honestly...

He was scared she might notice his reaction.

"It was obvious from your face and your reaction, idiot."

Claudia narrowed her eyes at him slightly.

Ezra’s hand paused for half a second.

Was it really that obvious?

He scratched the side of his head awkwardly while trying to think of a response.

The firelight flickered against his face, exposing the uncomfortable look hidden there.

"Does it really matter though?"

Claudia suddenly spoke again before Ezra could answer.

Ezra blinked. "Huh?" He turned toward her in confusion.

"Everyone has their own reason for choosing what they want to do."

Claudia rested one arm over her raised knee while speaking.

"What right does another person have to compare those reasons together?"

Her voice sounded serious now.

Not mocking nor teasing.

Just honest.

"At the end of the day, people only understand life from their own perspective."

She pointed lightly toward Ezra with one finger.

"That means I can’t understand your reason for coming here because I never experienced your life."

Her black eyes stayed fixed on him calmly.

"So, I don’t have the right to judge your reason."

The fire popped softly, orange sparks floated upward into the dark sky.

"Even if you aren’t proud of it..."

She paused briefly.

"You shouldn’t let it crush you like that."

Ezra stayed quiet; his fingers slowly tightened around the rifle part in his hand.

"Because no matter the reason..." Claudia leaned back slightly. "We’re all in the same place now."

She glanced at the guns Ezra had already cleaned and assembled neatly beside him.

"And honestly, I don’t think anyone here would question you after seeing how hard you work to improve yourself."

She smiled faintly, a small simple smile.

Yet somehow warm, making Ezra’s chest tightened strangely.

For a brief second...His heartbeat became uneven.

"But..." Claudia suddenly scoffed. "You’re still an idiot though."

The warm atmosphere instantly cracked apart.

"Getting emotional over something like that..."

She shook her head with complete disappointment.

"Pussy."

The vein at the side of Ezra’s forehead twitched immediately.

Tch.

The mood was actually good for once...And she ruined it instantly.

Ezra slowly turned toward her with narrowed eyes.

"Platoon Leader."

He called out calmly.

"Yes, Pussy Cadet?"

Claudia replied without hesitation while raising a brow mockingly.

Ezra stared directly into her eyes this time. The firelight reflected between both of them quietly, then...

"You have a crush on me, don’t you?"

Ezra asked flatly.

Claudia froze.

The jungle suddenly became strangely quiet around them, even the crackling fire sounded louder than before.

Ezra kept staring at her seriously.

Meanwhile...

Claudia’s expression slowly broke apart.

"...Huh?"

For the first time since Ezra met her...She genuinely looked stunned.