Sometimes I just want to live in my own fairy tale; I don’t want to remember those things that bring me pain.

Old Master Zhang didn’t realize how much psychological pressure his actions brought to his son. His son never really felt this kind of pressure, only wanting to live his own life easily, undisturbed by anyone, but it was simply impossible.

As a father, he always thought about how to make his child happy, to live a joyful life that everyone desires, instead of suffering repeatedly with nothing to gain in the end. He couldn’t accept such a fate, but it seemed this fate was destined to be the conclusion of his life. Time and again, he couldn’t escape nor delete it, allowing fate to slice it apart repeatedly. He manipulated everything of his, only to find in the end that all of it was but fleeting clouds.

No matter how much effort he had put in, in the end, everything he desired never materialized. He walked along a path everyone thought poorly of, but he never considered giving up, believing that as long as he could live happily in his own way, his life would be worth living without regrets, willingly enduring all the pain.

"Did I, as a father, make excessive demands of you all? Or did my actions make you feel that way, unwilling to follow the path I arranged for you, even just a small step? What am I in the depths of your heart? Again and again, I instilled all the great principles of life into your hearts, hoping that you’d understand that no matter what happens, no matter the outcome, we will always stay by your side, never abandoning you.

I am also a living person, having made countless mistakes. Not everyone can forgive me, but I am at peace with myself. Those mistakes left me with no choices in life, but I still would have made those decisions if given the chance again, without changing a thing, leading to a different life and paving the road to a new era for myself step by step.

My child, as a father, I would never hurt my child, no matter how much they hurt me. Deep inside, I always regard my child as the most precious person. Why can’t you understand this? You hurt me before, turned me into what I became, but I never blamed you because I knew I had to prove my decisions were right. I couldn’t drag you through hardships with me. Even when you wanted to wander the world, I gave you freedom. I said I wouldn’t let you come back once you left home, you would no longer be my son, but when you did return, I reluctantly turned you away. Do you know how much pain I felt at that moment?

You know I’m someone who speaks fiercely but acts softly. I may speak sternly, but I’m really tender. No one ever truly understands the pain deep inside me. Again and again, you all placed your hopes on me, and I ended up bearing all the blame alone. I don’t blame any of you. After all, I chose this path myself."

"Zhentian, actually, what Dad said wasn’t wrong. You know your own inner thoughts better than anyone, but I still hope you think carefully. No matter who’s right or wrong, we should face it with optimism. We shouldn’t push our pain onto others. Dad is innocent, our son is innocent, all the family is innocent. However, the pain we brought them never brought us any punishment. Time changes everything, and reality is always cruel. We must adapt to reality, seeing it as beautiful to live a different life.

I have lived too long in pain and hatred; I don’t want my later years still mired in pain. It’s not just a mental torment but also a physical one I can’t bear. When I close my eyes, I see the bloodied people I’ve killed lying before me. Do you know how scared I am when they come to take revenge? I can only hide alone, shivering in bed, too scared to tell you because I’m afraid you’ll think it’s my own actions that led to this.

I have struggled alone for so long, cherishing everything as the most important in my life. I just wanted to be happy. I never imagined getting hurt repeatedly. Do you understand my excitement every time I walked my life’s path, treating everything as family?

For years we’ve depended on each other, not wanting to think we might one day part ways. But separation isn’t always a bad thing; we should face challenges we’ve never faced alone. If we were always together, do you think we’d face those challenges? I hope such an ending doesn’t happen to us, and I hope you understand the kindness of my intentions. Don’t make it difficult for Dad; don’t disappoint our son. They never drove us away. I chose this path myself, so why do you follow it, knowing it’s wrong, hurting the dearest ones, bringing sadness and heartbreak to them?"

Once, I truly believed that one day we could live happily ever after like in a fairy tale.