My Alleged Husband
Chapter 2012 - 1806: Swaying
No one knows what kind of sorrow all of this has ultimately brought, what kind of pain we have endured. Everyone thinks this is something that came with the wind, plain and simple.
Zhang Yichen knows it wasn’t easy for his son to make such a concession. After all, his son had never conceded before. This time, it really must have made his son anxious. Perhaps he was truly afraid that something might happen to his mother.
Anyone wouldn’t want anything unexpected to happen to their family. Even if relations with family members are strained, even if they have no patience and hurt you time and time again, you still hope they can be happy and find joy. After all, a family’s happiness is the only true happiness. If the family can’t be happy, then what’s the point? What have you done it all for? Sometimes you can’t even be sure whether your decisions are right or wrong.
"Child, actually, Dad knows that when you said those words today, you weren’t feeling good deep inside. I know you blame me for not taking good care of your mother. But some accidents are not something I wanted to happen. Do you think I don’t want your mother to live peacefully? Do you think I don’t want her to smile happily every day? As long as I saw her bright smile, I’d feel at ease inside. I felt proud because I could make my wife happy with the things I do."
But who could have guessed things would turn out like this? This outcome has far exceeded our control. I have no way to let this continue. I want very little, just to have what I want, as long as my family can be happy and joyful. Even if it means a bit more hardship for me, I can still smile. Have any of you experienced how tough my days are, how hard it is for me?"
What exactly am I doing all this for? Have any of you thought about it? You always think your thoughts are right, but you overlook everything else. You think everything you want is perfect, but have you ever considered my place? What have you taken me for? I am not a money-making machine."
Even though I care about money, I only want to earn money so my family can live better and more comfortably. If you think my desire to make money is out of some ulterior motive, then you’re gravely mistaken. I’m not that kind of person. I just want to have some peace of mind. I want every person in the family to not suffer so much. I am willing to bear all the pain and stress alone so my family can live peacefully. None of you have understood my deep intentions. How do you think I feel deep inside?"
Children often say that many things require putting oneself in others’ shoes. I hope you can consider things from my perspective as a father. I also have my difficulties and unspeakable burdens. Do you really think I want to live like this? I’m simply trapped, with no way out!"
Step by step, forcing me to this point, isn’t what anyone wanted to see. Ask yourselves honestly, is this the outcome you all wanted? Do you have any idea how exhausted I am? Who among you can understand that I’ve to handle company matters, consider your feelings, and think about how to care for my wife and family daily? I am already spread too thin, yet none of you have considered things from my perspective—how exhausted and painful it is for me!"
Zhang Ni knew that during this time his father was living in pain and exhaustion. However, there really isn’t much he can do as the younger generation. He can’t bear to see his mother suffer like that. He just wants his mom to regain her old laughter, even just saying a few normal words would feel like the most warm and joyful thing. In the past, his mother would always nag at him, and he didn’t understand how to consider his mother’s feelings back then. Now, seeing his mom like this, how could he possibly feel anything but regret for his past actions? He deeply regrets every word he said to his mom without considering her feelings, which led to his current state of regret. Everything is just a cycle of cause and effect.
"Dad, I know why you do what you do. I also know that you’ve done a lot and sacrificed a lot for this family, but some things need to be looked at from everyone’s perspective. Do you think your actions today were really good? Do you think what you are doing is good for everyone in the family? Now that Mom is lying here, she has become crazy and unrecognizable. Do you still have the heart to handle all your company’s affairs? You earn money so that everyone in the family can be happy, relaxed, and comfortable. But everything you do ultimately ignores the most genuine companionship for your family. Do you think a family lacking the most basic companionship still resembles a family?
I know these years you’ve hoped for Grandma and Grandpa to come home. You’ve hoped for many years, always talking to yourself, wishing they could come back. Even though they brought you only hurt, you still wish for their return. Even if they return only to abandon you again, you’d pay any price because you know you need the companionship of a family. You need a bit of affection from your own parents. But why can’t you understand my mom’s feelings? Doesn’t she also need some love from her husband? Her parents moved abroad after you married, what more do you want from her? Now she can’t even see her own parents, and you turned her into this just for the sake of your parents. Do you think you’re fair to my grandparents?
Maybe you think I’m being disobedient by saying this today, but I have no other choice. I’ve bottled these feelings up for a long, long time. I never planned to say this, much less in this setting, but today I really can’t hold it in anymore!"
Maybe only we ourselves know that some things are not so easy to achieve, and only through reflection do we understand the reason within!