My Alleged Husband
Chapter 2020 - 1813: Destined
If destiny has ordained that we be together, then I hope you can hold my hand tightly and never let go!
Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing will never understand why they have always been afraid to face the consequences of their mistakes.
The two of them thought that having lived this long, they would naturally accept their faults, but when these mistakes called to them, they both felt fear.
Everyone has moments of fear, and everyone is afraid of others knowing their mistakes. But facing one’s mistakes courageously is the responsibility a brave person should have, isn’t it? But why do we still not dare to take responsibility for our mistakes? Deep down, it’s the fear of losing the other person completely. Even though both hold each other in their hearts, they deny their feelings, pretending they no longer care, all to distance their emotions and not yearn for a life that doesn’t belong to them.
"Actually, we’re both the same. There’s no right or wrong; we’ve let go of unforgivable mistakes, and neither of us can correctly face our errors. It’s not just you; even I can’t face mine properly. How could you? No one is a Saint. Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s commendable to bravely embrace them.
I know I’ll probably never have the chance to do such a thing again, but I truly hope that if one day we can be together, things won’t be like this!" Xia Jing said to Zhang Zhentian.
Maybe, in a degraded world, he feels saying such words is no big deal. But in the eyes of his ex-husband, those words give him a glimmer of hope. He believes that if he keeps trying, perhaps his wife will come back to him. But will the end result truly be like that? Can shattered emotions truly be restored to how they were? Can a lost marriage become as loving as it once was? No one can provide her a definite answer; even he thinks he’s joking with himself, deceiving himself, let alone others.
"I don’t know what I have to do to make you choose to come back to me. Perhaps in this lifetime, we won’t have any unforgettable chances again, but when I see you cry, my heart aches with you. My heart hurts even more than yours. I’m afraid to see you cry because the thing I can’t bear most is to see the woman I love in tears. When we were together, I couldn’t give you a happy life even for a day, nor could I give you what you wanted. To you, it’s harm; to me, it’s a man without even the basic sense of responsibility. For me, this is the weakness of a man, and it’s this weakness that has brought us to this state. I’m truly scared, scared that one day we will no longer be in contact, and my heart will be in so much pain then. I don’t ask for much; I just hope the person I love can accompany me a bit longer. This plea isn’t excessive, is it? But in the end, I personally shattered my marriage, drove away the person I loved the most, and turned a once happy family into such shambles.
Honestly, facing such an outcome, no man’s heart wouldn’t ache. Who doesn’t wish for a perfect life? Who doesn’t wish to receive the care of the person they love most in this lifetime? I’ve received so much of your love, and I never reciprocated. Maybe that’s why the heavens would punish me, ensuring I never attain you again in this lifetime, because I lost the person I loved most. The one whom I loved most abandoned me. What right do I have to ask heaven for forgiveness? The mistakes we make must bear consequences. No one would endlessly cover for your errors.
Hearts are mutual. A wounded heart can never be restored to its original state. Even if you give your all, you’ll never attain the original desired state. The past is past. Precisely because I see all this with calmness, I now understand what it truly means to feel heart-wrenching pain. No one can truly grasp that feeling; it’s like grappling in the dark depths of despair, where you can’t even see fingers in front of you. I’m scared; scared that the person I love the most will leave me, scared that the person who loves me might leave me too. I’m terrified of losing what I once didn’t care about. I thought I could detach my emotions, move on, but in the end, I realize my heart has long been filled by you, unable to treat you without any feelings as before."
"Heh...
Don’t you feel that saying such words now is rather pointless? However you treated me in the past, heaven now repays you in kind. Once you made me sad and tearful, now even heaven can’t stand it and naturally wants to seek justice for me. I never imagined this justice would be served in such a way, not only hurting you but also our fathers. Had I known this was the way justice would be restored, I would rather suffer a lifetime than let heaven stand in for me.
Many times, your actions are understood by your heart. You might not know what actions to take to repay others, nor what would be the best outcome for everyone involved. But have you considered? Clearly, when both your career and love were flourishing, your beloved suddenly demands a divorce, abandoning you into the depths of despair without redemption. Would your heart still be calm? Could your heart still live the mundane life you desire? Could you still lead a life quietly pursuing the life you want while remaining unnoticed? No one can remain unburdened!
Now, with such a result, neither of us can face each other. Don’t say I lack the face to face you, nor do you deserve to face me. Since neither can face it, let’s not continue to entangle. This painful entanglement is the deepest wound for anyone, reopening the scabbed scar and sprinkling salt over it time and time again!"
I truly hope we are destined to be together. I don’t want us to live such a painful life!