Violet

Rowan pushed into me and I gasped.

The syzygy flared between us, and wrapped around us both, binding us together, and suddenly I could feel everything.

His pleasure, his longing, and his desperate, aching love.

Along with mine too.

And he felt it.

My shock mirrored his. His eyes widened, his haw clenched and a low moan escaped his throat.

We moved together, finding a rhythm that was both urgent and achingly slow. Every thrust sent waves of shared sensation crashing through us, pleasure building and building, amplified by the syzygy until I thought I might drown in it.

His breath mingled with mine and his eyes locked on mine, refusing to look away.

Unable to take it, I tried shifting my gaze.

"Look at me," he murmured. "Stay with me."

I didn’t know if he meant in this moment or forever.

"Ro..." I gasped, holding onto him as a shudder swept through my body with each sweep of his.

He kissed me as I finished, his own body trembling against mine when he followed moments later.

Time seemed to blur into nothing as he kept going, and at the end of it, he pulled me into his arms.

We lay tangled together in the darkness, my back against his chest, his arm draped heavily across my waist. His breath was warm against my hair, slowly evening out as his heartbeat steadied.

I was exhausted, and hoped I would still have the strength to move tomorrow.

Neither of us spoke.

There was nothing to say that wouldn’t break the fragile peace of this moment.

His thumb traced lazy patterns on my stomach, soothing and possessive at once. I closed my eyes and let myself sink into the sensation. It felt strangely comforting.

"Violet," he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.

"Hmm?"

"Stay." His arm tightened around me. "Everything will be fine."

My throat constricted.

Don’t tell me he knew?

No... I really hoped not.

"I’m here," I whispered.

It wasn’t a lie. Not yet.

He pressed a kiss to the back of my head, and within minutes, his breathing deepened into sleep.

I stayed awake for a long time.

I listened to him breathe. I felt the rise and fall of his chest against my back. His body curved around mine like he was trying to protect me even in sleep.

My heart ached.

I was going to leave him.

’Don’t think too much about it. It wouldn’t be so bad. I would just leave and come back to sort everything else out...’

Tomorrow, he would ride out to meet with the other pack. He would be gone for days, trusting that I would be here when he returned.

I told myself it was the right thing to do.

It really was.

But lying in his arms, with him wrapped around me... the justifications felt hollow.

I was running.

I was always running.

A tear slipped down my cheek and onto the pillow.

I didn’t wipe it away.

’There will be no more running after this. I promise...’

I closed my eyes and held onto Rowan for as long as I could.

Pretending, just for tonight, that I could stay.

[ - ]

My lower back ached.

I was half-asleep, drifting somewhere between dreams and waking, when I felt Rowan’s lips press against my hair.

"I’ll be back," Rowan murmured against my head.

He started to pull away.

Before I could think, my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him back down to me. I held him there, my face buried against his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

He stiffened in surprise.

Then his arms came around me, holding me just as tightly.

For a moment, neither of us moved.

I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to stay here, in this bed, in his arms, and pretend that tomorrow didn’t exist.

But I couldn’t.

I released him slowly, my arms falling back to the sheets.

When I looked up, there was something soft and wondering in his expression.

"I’ll see you soon," he said quietly, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

He pressed one last kiss to my forehead, and then he was gone.

The door clicked shut behind him.

I lay there for a long moment, staring at the ceiling with an aching chest.

Then exhaustion pulled me under, and I slept off.

When I woke again, the light filtering through the curtains had shifted to the warm amber of early evening.

I sat up too quickly. It was already evening?

I had nearly slept the entire day...

Panic flickered through me before I forced myself to breathe. My body had needed the rest.

A tray of food sat on the table near the window, covered to keep it warm. Someone had brought it while I slept.

My cheeks heated at the thought of a servant entering the room while I lay naked in Rowan’s bed, but I pushed the embarrassment aside. 𝗳𝗿𝐞𝕖𝘄𝗲𝕓𝗻𝚘𝚟𝕖𝐥.𝚌𝕠𝕞

The food was still warm beneath the cover. I hesitated before eating. This was likely going to be the only warm meal I would have in the days the to come. I ate mechanically, barely tasting it, my mind already racing ahead to what came next.

When I finished, I washed myself and the water was very helpful in clearing my head.

I dressed up in simple, practical clothes, and especially nothing that would draw attention. Then I packed the things I had put together over the past few days. A large travelling bag with supplies, food, water, maps and every other thing I would need for this journey.

I caught my reflection in the mirror and paused.

My hair had grown longer. It brushed my shoulders now, the reddish-brown colour consuming the lower half.

I shouldered my pack and moved toward the door, reaching for the handle only to go still when I sensed Elise just right outside.

Her footsteps were slow as she walked along the corridor and I held my breath, my hand pausing on the handle as I was afraid to make any slight sound she might pick up.