Violet

We had found a sheltered spot beneath a rocky overhang, tucked away from the main path we had been following. The stone curved above us like a protective hand, much like the strangely shaped rocks in this area that rose from the ground in funny waves.

Bei sat across from me, her legs crossed beneath her, her journal balanced on one knee. She wasn’t writing now, just staring out into the night with a thoughtful expression.

We had been traveling for nearly two weeks.

It felt longer somehow, and shorter too. The days had blurred together into a rhythm of walking, running, and resting again.

"Violet."

I glanced up at her. Bei was watching me now, her expression careful.

"Can I ask you something?"

My stomach tightened instinctively. I had asked her not to bring up Rowan or Kael, and she had respected that. Or was she about to discuss something else? Whatever it was, she sounded serious.

"Depends on what it is," I said cautiously.

Bei smiled faintly, shaking her head. "It’s not about them. I assure you."

I relaxed slightly. "Oh, alright."

She was quiet for a moment, her fingers tracing the edge of her journal. When she spoke, her voice was softer than usual.

"When all of this is over," she said slowly, "this strange pull, the choices, everything you’re running toward and away from basically... what do you want your life to look like?" 𝑓𝘳𝘦𝑒𝑤𝑒𝘣𝘯ℴ𝘷𝘦𝓁.𝑐𝑜𝑚

I opened my mouth to answer.

Nothing came out.

I closed it again, slightly confused. The question seemed simple enough. What did I want? And what kind of life had I imagined for myself when the chaos finally settled?

But the longer I sat with it, the more I realized I had no specific answer.

I would have liked to say my answer would depend on whoever I picked, but I wasn’t in a hurry to do so.

"I don’t know," I admitted quietly.

Bei didn’t look surprised. She just nodded, her eyes gentle.

"I’ve never really thought about it," I continued, the words coming slowly. "I would just say I want a world where Omegas were not so mistreated..."

"Oh..." Bei said softly, nervously looking away. "That makes sense." Her voice was lower now.

I didn’t know what else to say. I was guessing in a way she too had grown up with her prejudice against omegas.

I... wasn’t sure if I wanted to return to Fresna. Being around more wolves like that—

"I—I know what you are thinking," Bei cut into my train of thought, her voice slightly rushed as she seemed a little nervous. "But I have mostly just been indifferent." She smiled sadly, averting her gaze. "I understand that isn’t entirely good or helpful, but I have never once looked down on omegas... just..."

"They were just irrelevant," I finished for her.

She swallowed.

"It’s fine," I whispered, looking away too.

Kael had been just like that.

"Staying in Silverwood helped adjust my viewpoint a bit," she quickly added. "I didn’t know omegas could be resourceful—"

"They do not have to be to entirely be valuable. They just deserve to leave without being ostracised so—"

I was already frowning and I bit back the rest of my words, trying to control myself.

I didn’t want to get angry, especially not at Bei.

"I’m sorry," Bei whispered, downcast. "I didn’t—"

"It is fine," I said. "I understand."

She was raised that way. At least she hadn’t been abusive to omegas.

"I just find it ridiculous, especially when omegas are not that high in numbers." I sat up, pressing my back further against the cool stone wall.

I tilted my head to look outside.

"While Rowan and I travelled before arriving at Silverwood, we came across a few places. Ascalone’s capital from what I could remember had omegas out and about. Some were even working. It had been such a strange feeling," I said wistfully. "I had never seen something like that before."

Bei looked surprised too.

"Though I understand there may be packs within Ascalone’s territory that may still not treat omegas fairly," I continued. "Since that may not be much of their concern."

"Most likely," Bei said softly, quietly closing the journal on her lap.

I played with my fingers. "My whole life has been about surviving. Getting through the next day, the next threat, the next person trying to hurt me or use me." I shook my head. "I’ve never had the chance to think about what I actually want. Just what I’m trying to escape."

I smiled before adding. "Even now, truthfully, I am not entirely sure how I will go about this, but it’s worth trying. I will know when I find what the pull is taking me towards."

"I am so sorry for all you’ve experienced as an omega growing up," Bei spoke up, her hands clutched tightly together on her lap. "On behalf of all the other wolves of Fresna too, I sincerely apologise."

My eyes widened, surprised.

I raised my hand. "Oh. That’s not—"

"Let me, please." Bei sighed. "I feel terrible. I am aware of some of the treatment you had endured in Fresna. I am sorry for that. You’ve been in survival mode for so long. It’s hard to imagine anything else when you’re just trying to stay alive."

"Thank you..." The word came out heavier than I intended. "Yes."

We sat in silence for a moment.

Then Bei spoke again, her voice thoughtful.

"I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted," she said. "When I was younger, before I joined Lord Kael’s service, I had this whole vision of my life. A mate, children, a home in a quiet part of the territory. Simple things."

I watched her, surprised. She rarely talked about herself like this.

"What changed?" I asked.

Bei smiled, but there was something sad in it. "Life, I suppose. My parents died in my late teens from an illness. My younger sister and I were left alone, and suddenly all those simple dreams felt very far away."

My chest tightened. "Bei, I’m sorry. That’s..."

She shook her head. "It was a long time ago. My sister is safe now, living with our aunt in the capital. Let me just say, I found different interests and decided to pursue it under Lord Kael’s service." She paused, her eyes distant. "I can’t say I have much, but I’d say for now, I might have found another interest."

Bei was quiet for a long moment. Then she smiled, and it was warmer this time.

"I want to see things," she said simply. "Like this journey. I want to see places I’ve never been, and gain more information." She gestured vaguely at the darkness outside. "I spent so many years in one place, doing one thing. I forgot how big the world was. How much of it I’d never seen."

She looked at me, her eyes gentle.

"It would be nice maybe alongside your plans for omegas, to start thinking about what you want for yourself... even if you may not have an answer yet."