Chapter 24: Chapter 24 - The Way Aoi Loves

Kuro Kurogane found the notebook by accident.That was a problem for someone else.

It was an ordinary evening.

Akari was yelling at Daichi concerning dinner portions while Shizuka laughed. The house was lively.

Kuro had been sent to Aoi’s room for one thing:

"Please retrieve my charger," said Aoi simply.

"...Why should I be the one to do that?"

"...You are upstairs."

It was not rational logic.But he was right.

So Kuro walked into his first time visiting Aoi’s room in some time.

He paused.It was what he expected.It was orderly. Calm. Perfectly arranged.

Books arranged in order and with no extra decorations. All calm, clean.Totally Aoi.

Kuro found the charger under the desk.Then catastrophe happened.

As Kuro turned his sleeve hit the corner of a notebook.It fell.

Pages were spread over the floor.Kuro crouched by habit and began to gather them together.

He stopped.Every page had his name on it.

Silence fell.Kuro slowly looked down at the first page.

Kuro does not like sweet coffee. He pretends to like sweet coffee, but he always eats the last piece of karaage. When he gets tired he gets quiet. He smiles slightly when alone with a book.

Silence quieted even more. Kuro blinked once.Kuro flipped through another page.

Age 11: Akari was scared of the storm and Kuro stayed outside with us, but he never complained about getting sick afterward.

Another page.

Middle school: Kuro started eating alone for lunch more often because people were no longer approaching him. He said that it was peaceful but this was probably due to loneliness.

Another.

Kuro gets embarrassed when receiving compliments, emotionally he would have a significant increase in his heart rate if he was put in an emotionally difficult position.

Kuro’s face was slowly reverting back to that blank expression again.

"What."

This notebook was thick.Very thick.There were hundreds of pages full of:

Hobbies, memories, observations and the smallest things that only Kuro would really know.

This was a diary written only about him.

No creepiness to it could really make anyone think he was insane, but it somehow seemed to make the contents of this diary all that more dangerous.

Every word was completely real .

There was a small amount of time that passed after Aoi opened the door to Kuro’s bedroom, at the moment Aoi and Kuro both froze.

Silence again.Kuro looked up from the notebook in his hands.

Aoi stared silently at Kuro.Neither of them moved.

"...You found it." said Aoi quietly and Kuro lowered his head again.

"...What is this." he said.

Aoi did not answer right away he just walked to Kuro calmly.

"This is my notebook." he replied.

"That doesn’t help answer anything." Kuro said.

The silence again hung for what felt like hours as Kuro continued to slowly continue to turn pages in the notebook.

He then found a page dated that had been written years ago.

Before they were step-siblings.Before moving back in together. When they were little kids.

"...You have been keeping this for that long?"

Aoi simply nodded his head.

"...Yes."

No embarrassment.No panic.Just absolute honesty.

And somehow that honesty made Kuro’s chest feel tight in an unusual way.

"...Why?"

Aoi looks at Kuro for a long time.

Then finally responds.

"...Because it matters."

So simple of an answer.But heavy. Kuro looks at the notebook again.

There are memories he had completely forgotten.

Just like this :

What his favorite popsicle was when he was a child.

What day he got his hair cut short in the 6th grade. Staying up all night with Akari to study.

Little conversations from years ago.Little moments.Moments that no one should realistically remember.

Except for Aoi.

Every single moment.

"...This is crazy," Kuro said quietly.

Aoi is sitting without moving.

"...Probably."

"You documented my food habits."

"...You skip breakfast when you get stressed."

"...You kept track of that?"

"...Yes."

Kuro is now looking back at Aoi with wide eyes.

Not in fear. Just shocked.

Because all of a sudden now Kuro has a very frightening thought.Aoi has been watching him for years.

Not in a controlling way.Not entirely.But in a steady and consistent way.

Like she has always paid attention to him.

Even when he pulled away from everyone else.

Kuro thought that no one had seen him disappearing into loneliness. However, Aoi did notice.

The room was lovely quiet.

Then Aoi spoke softly.

"You seem to be very lonely."

Kuro felt himself freeze.

"I’m not lonely."

Aoi gazed directly at him.

"You always say that."

He didn’t accuse him or tease him.

Simply understood.Somehow, that hurt more.

Kuro turned his head away from her.There was still a notebook resting in his hands.

"You really remembered all these?"

"I wanted to."

Another direct answer.

Kuro felt his heartbeat become embarrassingly loud again.

Then he turned to another page but before he could do anything. He was stuck staring.

This page wasn’t observations. It was feelings.

I enjoy when Kuro’s laughter is natural... he rarely laughs deeply anymore. I miss his smile from when he was a little boy in real life.

If someone ever makes Kuro happier than I do one day... I wonder if I can live with it...

Kuro turned very slowly to look at Aoi.

She never once tried to stop him.She didn’t hide from Kuro either.

It was the first time he had seen Aoi look even a little vulnerable.Small. Fragile.

"Aoi."

She dropped her eyes away from Kuro and spoke softly.

"I know this is weird." Kuro opened his mouth to say something. He stopped.

Because in all honesty , He was unsure how to respond.

This was not feelings of romantic love - nor was it just the love between childhood friends

Aoi had devoted her entire life to him in secret, showing him her love, and he had missed it completely

It was a bitter-sweet feeling, a heavy feeling of warmth and sadness all wrapped into one.

"You can be very scary at times," Kuro said softly.

Aoi blinked her eyes once.Then she smiled at him suddenly.

"And this is once?" she asked.

"Don’t get cocky," he replied.

She laughed, but it was very quiet, soft and short.

After a very long pause, Kuro closed Aoi’s notebook.

And instead of just putting it back to where he had it stored before, he held it carefully; more carefully than he ever did before.

Now he would hold onto the notebook and take special care of it until he remembered what Aoi had been trying to show him all those years she had stood right next to him; that she had loved him quietly.