Piss Off, Alpha! You Lost Me Forever
Chapter 219 Real Feelings
SOPHIA’S POV
I cried until my chest physically hurt.
The tears refused to stop no matter how hard I tried to calm myself down.
My entire body trembled weakly against Bianca while she held me near one of the garden benches.
My wolf was hurting badly too. She kept pacing restlessly inside me, feeling confused and emotional. One moment she wanted to run back upstairs to Zade, and the next moment she growled angrily at the memory of Tiffany standing beside him. The emotional pull between anger and longing was exhausting both of us.
Bianca gently rubbed my back without rushing me.
“It’s okay,” she whispered softly. “Just let it out.”
I shut my eyes tightly.
“I sounded horrible in there,” I said “I know I did.”
Bianca stayed quiet for a moment before sighing softly. “You sounded hurt.”
That simple answer nearly made me cry again because it was true.
Everything I said to Zade had come from hurt. Even when I tried sounding cold, my chest had felt like it was splitting apart the entire time.
“I hate that he affects me this much,” I whispered weakly.
Bianca finally pulled back slightly to look at me properly. Her expression looked calm and understanding, not judgmental.
“That’s because your feelings for him are real,” she said honestly.
I laughed bitterly while wiping my wet cheeks. “Real feelings are annoying.”
Bianca smiled “Unfortunately.”
For a few seconds, neither of us spoke.
The garden remained peaceful around us. A nurse walked quietly down one of the stone pathways carrying files while a patient sat near the fountain in the distance reading a newspaper.
My wolf slowly settled down a little too but not completely. Still, it was enough for me to finally breathe properly again.
Bianca handed me a tissue from her purse. “You know, you really scared me just now.”
I accepted the tissue “Sorry.”
“You nearly collapsed completely.”
“I’m still weak.”
“You’re stubborn,” Bianca corrected immediately.
That made me smile despite everything.
I blew my nose “You sound like Patricia.”
I leaned back against the bench with exhaustion. My body still felt heavy from the fever. Even sitting upright took effort now that the adrenaline from arguing with Zade had disappeared.
I looked down at my hands quietly. “Do you think I was too harsh?”
Bianca took her time answering.
“Yes,” she admitted honestly. “But I also think you’re emotionally overwhelmed right now.”
I sighed deeply.
“That man looks at you like you’re the center of his entire world,” Bianca continued “But whatever happened with Tiffany clearly hurt you deeply.”
“It did”
I clenched the tissue tighter between my fingers. “I know technically he didn’t do anything wrong, but seeing her beside him like that...it felt horrible.”
Bianca nodded.
“You know,” she said softly, “Marcel nearly caused a fight last week because another man hugged me too long.”
I blinked before staring at her. “Seriously?”
Bianca burst into laughter immediately.
“I’m serious,” she said while laughing harder. “He literally glared at the poor man for ten minutes straight.”
That surprised me enough to distract me from my own emotions briefly.
“Marcel?” I asked in disbelief. “He’s back?”
“Yes,” Bianca said dramatically. “He becomes terrifying when jealous.”
I couldn’t help laughing softly.
The image felt strangely unbelievable. He was always the one cheating yet he had the nerve to be jealous.
Bianca smiled. “Trust me, Alpha males are all insane.”
That immediately made me think of Zade again. I remembered the way his eyes went dark when I mentioned Damien. The possessiveness in his eyes had been intense.
“So,” I asked quietly, “Marcel is still pursuing you?”
She smiled a little “Unfortunately.”
I stared at her suspiciously. “That smile says otherwise.”
She groaned softly. “He’s persistent.”
“How persistent?”
Bianca sighed dramatically before leaning back against the bench beside me. “Flowers every morning. He calls constantly. He somehow knows whenever I skip meals.” She looked genuinely confused now. “I don’t even know how he keeps finding out.”
I shook my head “Don’t fall for it, Bianca”
She sighed “I won’t. It’s just....hard”
I took her hand “I know. I’m very proud of you”
She turned to look at me “Thank you”
Suddenly, a familiar voice interrupted us.
“Miss Sophia?”
I turned immediately. It was Franca.
Franca hurried toward us across the garden path with relief written all over her face. She looked slightly out of breath like she had been searching for me for a while.
“Franca?” I said in surprise.
She finally reached us. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
I sat up straighter immediately. “Hey. Is something wrong?”
“No, no,” she shook her head. “Actually, I came to give you good news.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Ashley?”
Franca nodded and smiled. “Her condition improved significantly this afternoon. The doctors moved her out of the ICU an hour ago.”
I felt relief so strongly that I nearly cried again.
“Oh thank the goddess” I said.
My wolf softened immediately too.
Ashley being stable eased a huge weight inside me that I hadn’t even fully realized I was carrying. I had been so consumed by my emotional mess with Zade that I kept forgetting how terrified I was about Ashley.
“She woke up briefly too,” Franca continued. “She’s still weak, but she’s responding much better now.”
“That’s amazing,” Bianca said.
I pressed a hand against my chest while trying to steady my breathing. “Can I see her later?”
“Probably tomorrow,” Franca said. “The doctors still want her resting tonight.”
I nodded.
I felt more relieved now. Ashley getting better gave me hope I desperately needed right now.
Then suddenly, another familiar scent reached me. My wolf instantly recognized it.
Damien.
I looked up and immediately spotted him walking toward us from the hospital entrance. His eyes found me instantly.
“Sophia.” He said.
Bianca glanced between us carefully before quietly standing up. “I’ll give you both a minute.”
I wanted to stop her, but she was already walking away with Franca toward another pathway.
Now, it was just Damien and me. The atmosphere immediately became awkward.
Damien walked to the bench before stopping in front of me. He looked exhausted. His hair was slightly messy like he had been running his hands through it repeatedly, and he had dark circles under his eyes.
Damien sat beside me on the bench. “Sophia... about earlier.”
I stayed silent.
He sighed heavily before rubbing his face tiredly. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you.”
The memory of our argument earlier flashed through my mind again. Back then, his anger had hurt me deeply.
Now I mostly just felt emotionally tired.
“I was frustrated,” Damien admitted quietly. “But that doesn’t excuse it.”
I finally looked at him properly.
For the first time in a long while, Damien genuinely looked vulnerable sitting there beside me. His usual calm confidence seemed weaker now.
“I was surprised to know you’ve been sick,” he continued softly. “Why didn’t anyone call me?”
I swallowed slowly.
Because another man had stayed beside me all night instead. Because another man’s touch comforted me more now.
Because my heart had already started leaving Damien long before I admitted it to myself.
“I didn’t think it mattered,” I answered honestly.
“It matters to me.”
I looked away again because guilt suddenly crept into my chest.
Damien sighed “I came to check on you earlier, but you were resting”
“I was.”
He nodded. “You still look pale.”
“I had a fever.”
“You should still be resting upstairs instead of sitting outside in the cold.”
The concern in his tone almost reminded me of old times, back when we still functioned like a normal couple.
But the feeling still wasn’t the same anymore. My wolf remained emotionally detached.
“Ashley’s room was moved to a private recovery ward.”
I blinked. “Oh.”
“You could move there too,” he offered softly. “It would be more comfortable than staying alone.”
“No.”
He frowned “Sophia-”
“I’m fine where I am.”
“You shouldn’t stay alone after what happened”
Technically... I hadn’t been alone. Zade had been there, watching over me and taking care of me.
My wolf whined again at the memory.
I quickly forced the feeling away before Damien noticed anything strange in my expression.
“You don’t have to worry about me anymore,” I said quietly.
“Sophia...”
I slowly stood up from the bench despite the weakness in my body. The movement made Damien immediately stand too like he was ready to steady me if needed.
But I stepped back before he could touch me.
“Our divorce is almost finalized anyway.” I said.
The words sounded cold even to my own ears, but I forced myself to continue.
“There’s no point pretending otherwise anymore.”
Damien stared at me silently. The sadness in his eyes was obvious now. But strangely enough... I didn’t care.
Maybe it was because my own heart was already too damaged.
“I never wanted things to end like this,” he admitted quietly.
I swallowed hard. “Neither did I.”
For a moment, neither of us moved.
Damien looked like he wanted to say something else, maybe argue, maybe apologize more. But in the end, he stayed silent.
And honestly... so did I. Because there was nothing left to fix anymore.
I gave him one final nod before turning away.
Then without hesitation... I walked away.