Princess's Struggle for Survival
Chapter 585: "I’m a very greedy person.”
"Astrid, in truth, I’m not as good as you imagine me to be."
Under the clear, bright moonlight, the cherry-pink haired girl in a white dress sat on the bench. Flickering shadows of leaves danced across Lyra’s snow-white legs sheathed in pristine white thigh-highs, forming slender gaps of white and gray. Her smooth, delicate silk-stockinged feet rested quietly inside tiny black leather shoes, making the glossy black tips even more prominent.
Lyra gazed at Astrid, her hands pressed against the bench, her voice soft as a mosquito’s hum yet distinctly audible beneath the night sky.
"Perhaps it’s just my illusion, or maybe mere wild speculation..."
"In Astrid’s heart, Lyra Beckett has always been an exceptionally, exceptionally noble person?"
This feeling hadn’t formed overnight; it had naturally emerged from Lyra’s prolonged interactions with Astrid.
"No matter how much you tease me, I never get angry. No matter how much you provoke me, I never cross the line. Even when Astrid makes the most suggestive movements, I still strive to maintain my knightly demeanor and maintain my chaste virtues."
Lyra spoke softly, slowly extending her silk-covered legs. Her soft ceremonial dress draped slightly over them, like an elegant tablecloth covering a tempting dessert.
"It’s as if... Astrid has already read my entire life in a storybook, understood every choice I would make, knew my expectations for future life, and was aware of my cowardice when facing danger and the occasional anxieties that rise within my heart."
Long, long ago, Lyra had realized that Astrid was intimately familiar with every aspect of her, as if she had observed her from the very beginning.
Including the words she spoke upon first arriving in the garden, how, from a seemingly insignificant detail, Astrid deduced she was unhappy, then deliberately led her away from the banquet to chat in the garden, allowing her to vent her emotions.
Beyond the affection Astrid had developed for her early on, it seemed she knew everything.
As the girl’s voice faded, the light reflection on Lyra’s fingernail flickered, and a semi-transparent holy sword materialized atop her outstretched legs. The blade’s tip converged with the tips of her crossed shoes.
Even her taming of this holy sword was something Astrid had long believed she was absolutely capable of achieving, certain she could pass its moral trials and become one favored by the light.
"This special favor made me believe, for a time, that the Lyra Beckett in Astrid’s eyes was completely transparent, the real me."
Lyra turned her head, her gaze meeting Astrid’s vivid crimson eyes, her pink lips parting.
"Was it because of this... that Astrid didn’t become my lover back then? Why did we never take that final step?"
If everything had truly happened, given her personality, she would never abandon someone with whom she’d shared complete physical intimacy.
Doing so would violate the knight’s code, regardless of Lyra’s personal feelings.
Hearing Lyra’s words, Astrid didn’t deny it, merely silently watching the pink-haired girl before her.
Lyra took a deep breath. Her blue eyes seemed to shimmer with moisture as she continued.
"Astrid wanted me to make my own decision only after fully understanding everything, rather than taking responsibility due to ignorance and compromising my final judgment."
"That seems a singular decision... for a Holy Light Knight."
Astrid and Amalia had already confirmed their relationship as lovers. In such circumstances, how could someone as radiant as the sun possibly break that bond for personal desire?
Even if she had been the first to fall in love, even if the other person loved her just the same.
"Astrid... believes that, doesn’t she..." Lyra’s voice trembled slightly as her legs gently rubbed against the sword’s blade.
Believing that after knowing everything, she would voluntarily withdraw, just as she’d always shown, restraining her hand, reaching out only to pull it back.
Upon hearing this, Astrid’s beautiful narrow eyes were slightly, a fleeting emotional shift instantly caught by Lyra, who had been intently watching her.
Judging by the original Lyra’s personality, this was indeed the choice she would most likely make.
Rather than competing, she preferred to sacrifice herself, to give, or even self-destruct.
The pink-haired girl murmured her lips, speaking softly.
"But Astrid... the Holy Light Knight Lyra isn’t me..."
"The person before you right now, that’s the real me."
"I get angry, I feel wronged, I’m unhappy, I feel resentful, I want to claim more."
She was far from perfect, and she, too, yearned for a beautiful romance.
"Everything was progressing so well, why suddenly tell me this now..."
Closing her eyes, warm tears welled in her eyes. Even as she tried hard not to be infected by negative emotions, Lyra couldn’t suppress her sorrow.
She had come first, understood her feelings for Astrid first, and chose to act first.
Yet Amalia still took that step with her beloved first.
Why...?
Feeling Lyra’s low mood, Astrid paused for a moment, then finally reached out, gently stroking the pink-haired girl’s eyelids.
Brushing aside the strands of hair near the teary-eyed puppy’s ears, the girl’s normally clear blue eyes grew hazy from moisture. Tears rolled down her gloves, as if scalding Astrid’s skin through the fabric.
"Why were you so kind to me from the beginning? Why did you help me with pre-academy tutoring? Why did you give me so much money to support my family? Why did you write letters to Lina to protect my parents? Why was Astrid always there whenever I was unhappy? Why did Astrid anticipate every one of my worries?"
"Why... are you so gentle, so outstanding, so good...."
Her fragmented words fell like broken beads from a shattered curtain, scattering together with her tears.
"Couldn’t you... just have a few more flaws?"
If the original Astrid Calliste had been exactly as she’d imagined, a haughty, arrogant, spoiled noble brat relying on her parents’ status, she wouldn’t have been so torn, nor so heartbroken.
But, Astrid was exactly this person, so exceptionally tolerant, so peerlessly beautiful, so extraordinarily brilliant.
Born an imperial princess, she should have been high above, yet she willingly stooped to listen to the mundane worries beneath low eaves. Although she could have stained herself like other nobles, becoming one who indulged in pleasure and actively exploited others, she instead thought long-term, advocating for the underprivileged, and gave her freedom and love.
Almost every trait Astrid possessed perfectly matched Lyra’s ideal vision of a life partner. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it was because of the silver-haired regent before her that Lyra had gradually awakened her sexual orientation. Combined with over four years of constant companionship, how could she possibly let go so easily?
Even when she closed her eyes again, Lyra couldn’t escape that cool, silver silhouette in her mind.
There was Astrid, the lazy princess, just waking up with drowsy eyes; Astrid, the elegant noble, sitting upright and attentively in class; Astrid, the domineering imperial princess, standing before her to shield her from others’ doubts; Astrid, the cool beauty, offering her a lap pillow in the academy square.
Even though Amalia had gotten ahead, even though Astrid harbored similar feelings for that younger sister, even though this beauty couldn’t be hers alone, she still refused to let go.
"Astrid, I want to confirm one last time..."
Soft sobs echoed through the garden. Lyra wiped her tears herself, swallowed, and spoke.
"Do you like me?"
No matter how many times she’d rationally considered it, Lyra still hoped Astrid could give her an answer that allowed no other interpretation, absolutely accurate.
Astrid’s hand remained on Lyra’s eyelids, her black gloves soaked with tears. She looked at the girl, her voice clear.
"I like you, Lyra."
From their very first meeting, seeing that bedraggled, drenched Lyra, her heart had already been inclined, wishing for this pink-haired girl’s happiness.
Hearing Astrid’s answer, Lyra continued to meet her gaze. After a moment, she moistened her lips and replied hoarsely.
"I understand... Astrid...."
"I like you too."
"But I’m not that person you defined, the one forever constrained by knightly codes, chasing the light."
This time, she wanted to be selfish, instead of being the one who strictly followed the rules, only to be exploited by a cheater, losing and losing until nothing remained.
From affection to ambiguity, until just before parting, they had only relied on that final, thin pane of glass to become lovers. She refused to hand it all over to Amalia, even if she were the sovereign ruler, the Empress of the empire.
"I’ve said it... I’m Astrid’s knight alone...."
"So, I won’t let go. I don’t want to let go."
If endless gentleness and retreat only brought her pain and inner turmoil, then she refused to continue that way.
This was also a lesson Astrid had once taught Lyra.
"I’m a very greedy person."
Perhaps the resentment accumulated over too long had finally erupted at this moment. Lyra grasped Astrid’s hand, her tear-streaked face now unusually resolute, her sapphire eyes reflected the silver-haired beauty before her.
The holy sword clattered to the ground. In the span of a single breath, the two women sitting properly shifted positions. Lyra’s hand pressed beside Astrid’s neck, her lingering tears sliding down her cheeks and dripping onto the regent’s lips.
Warm and bitter, slightly salty, like warm water with salt added.
The next second, Lyra’s legs swung across Astrid’s knees, firmly pinning the person beneath her down, then she covered her lips with her own.
Even in the past, for certain pleasures, Lyra had never shown such dominance before Astrid. Even brief moments of control were only done with Astrid’s implicit permission.
Only this time did Lyra refuse to meet Astrid’s eyes, attacking purely on instinct, whether it was her tightly clenched legs or the fierce battle between lips and teeth.
Astrid... was just too hateful...
Wasn’t I enough?
Lyra boldly thrust her knees forward, doing something only Astrid would ever do to her. Her little fangs wanted to bite the person before her, yet she feared truly hurting her.
Only when their scents had mingled into each other did this kiss finally end. Astrid used her smooth, white wrist to wipe her slightly swollen lips, then raised her hand again to gently wipe away Lyra’s tears.
With just that one gesture, Lyra no longer felt so miserable. Although her hand is still braced beside Astrid’s neck, her tears no longer flow incessantly as before.
Was she really such a puppy or kitten? So easily satisfied...
Internally mocking her own lack of resolution, Lyra relaxes her tense calves. Her smooth, delicate silk-stockinged feet revealed their soft pink soles before stepping back into her shoes to steady her body.
"Astrid..."
"I’m here."
"Love me a little more."
Hearing the faintly misty voice before her, Astrid gently rubbed her legs against Lyra’s, the smooth black fabric acting like a soothing balm, slowly calming Lyra’s heart.
"Alright, Lyra..."
"...my knight lady."
Wrapping her arms around Lyra’s waist, the pink-haired girl’s tear ducts trembled again. She rested her head against Astrid’s shoulders. But this time, she didn’t aggressively pry open the other’s lips, she simply leaned quietly together.
"Don’t take it back..."
"I won’t."
"You must keep the promises from before too."
"Okay."
"..."
"You agreed so ready, does Astrid know what I’m referring to?"
"Traveling the world..."
Finishing her words, Astrid stroked Lyra’s head. The girl obediently nestled her body into the other’s embrace, her delicate, silk-sheathed ankles still refused to release their grip around Astrid’s leg.
"...together with you." Astrid added.
Lyra softly hummed in response, pressing her lips against Astrid’s neck, feeling the blood flowing beneath the thin skin.
After a while, Lyra asked.
"So... are we lovers now?"
After knowing everything, she still couldn’t leave Astrid. The silver-haired regent in her arms had accompanied her through so much time, completely altering the trajectory of her life.
Hearing this, Astrid turned her head, meeting Lyra’s sidelong glance. Her fingertip lifted a strand of pink hair, and her damp lips brushed against the other’s ear.
"Mm."
If anyone was greedy, she was the greediest one.
Having won the heart of the imperial Empress, and now also capturing the love of the Holy Light Knight.
Hearing Astrid’s words, Lyra’s breathing gradually steadied. She mimicked what Astrid had just done, pressing a kiss beside the cool, dignified beauty’s ear.
"So much... I love being with Astrid."
Under the night sky, a pair of exquisitely crafted, lace-up high heels stepped onto the corridor tiles, blue ribbons wrapped around the ankles fluttering in the breeze, making the wearer appear even more noble.
The golden-haired girl in a white dress stood in the hallway, holding her scepter, exchanging a glance with Elise beside her, signaling that there was no need to announce her arrival to Astrid.
They were in the sweet phase of confession. Even with the head maid guarding nearby, Lyra, despite being a novice Arbiter, couldn’t possibly detect the concealed presence nearby. Amalia watched the silver hair flowing like a galaxy across the bench, and the midnight-blue high heel lying on the ground. Her blue eyes flickered with a flame.
Her meager chest rose and fell gently. Amalia raised her hand to lightly touch it, taking a deep breath of the garden’s fresh air.
Lyra Beckett...
What an enviable girl.