Inside his room, Callan shut the door behind him gently and stood still for a moment.

Then he ran a hand over his face.

"Reckless..." he muttered under his breath.

Her words stayed in his head. They echoed.

It hurt him more than anything because it was Emily who had said them.

Because it seemed that no matter what he said or did, she would always judge him by his past actions, and there was little or nothing he could do about it.

For the first time since he had started trying to change and to be more open, it felt like none of it mattered.

None of it showed or counted.

Should he just break up with her? Maybe ending things with her would be the best option. He would never be good enough for her. She would never really be happy being with him.

Or maybe he should make her end things with him herself. Maybe if he pulled back and started giving her space or if he just went back to his previous lifestyle she’d end things.

His heart ached at the thought of not being with her. 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎

He shook his head and walked to the window and stared out, but he wasn’t seeing anything.

All he could hear was her voice. All he could remember was her words.

Maybe he deserved it. He had no right to be upset. He was the one who had not only deflowered her but impregnated her and made her go through the whole abortion herself while he recklessly tried to get over her by jumping from one woman to another.

Recklessly.

He let out a short, quiet laugh, but there was no humor in it.

He walked over to his bedside table and picked up his phone. He stared at it for a second, then dropped it back on the bed.

Jamal was asleep and wouldn’t be able to talk. And even if he wasn’t, what was the point of calling him? What would he say? That he was hurt by what Emily said?

It wasn’t like she’d lied. What right did he have to tell her what to do or not do after all the pain he’d caused her?

He sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees, his head bowed.

He stayed like that for a while. Just sitting there quietly and trying to swallow the tight feeling in his chest.

His heart skipped a beat when a soft knock came on the door.

"Callan..." Emily’s soft voice came from the other side.

He closed his eyes briefly. Then he straightened up. By the time he stood, his face was already composed like nothing was wrong.

He walked to the door and opened it.

She stood there, looking at him carefully. "I’m sorry," she said softly. "I overreacted."

He looked at her for a moment, his expression calm and blank. He’d probably have been happy that they were about to make up now, if he hadn’t just stood outside her door listening to her tear him down.

Then he gave a small, easy nod.

"It’s okay," he said lightly. "You didn’t overreact. It’s all my fault. I was wrong. I had no right to tell you what to do or not do. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry." Although his chest tightened as he said the words, he made sure to keep his tone even.

His voice sounded so normal it made Emily hesitate. "You’re not upset?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nope. I have no right to be," he said again with a faint smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

But he didn’t let it slip.

Emily looked at him, wondering why his words made her heart to ache. "You have every right to be. You’re my boyfriend."

Ignoring that, he stepped aside. "Do you want to come in?"

She nodded, and walked in slowly.

He closed the door behind her.

There was a small pause, then he moved past her casually, like everything was normal.

"Did you eat?" he asked in an easy tone.

Emily watched him unable to shake off the feeling that something felt off. But she couldn’t place it.

And he didn’t give her anything to hold on to. Because he had already decided before opening the door that if that was the way she saw him, then maybe it was better she never saw how much it hurt.

Emily sat on the edge of the bed and watched him as he moved around the room like nothing had happened.

She didn’t like this cool version of him.

"I ate," she said slowly.

Callan nodded. "Good."

He picked up his phone again, then dropped it, then walked to the wardrobe like he suddenly remembered something.

Emily frowned slightly. "Did you eat?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said without turning. "I ate mine too."

That wasn’t true.

She knew it wasn’t because she’d taken what was left of her dinner to the refrigerator and saw that he’d packed his away without touching it.

But she didn’t call him out on it since it was an obviously stupid lie and she was more worried about why he was acting the way he was.

Was he sulking?

She just sat there, unsure of what to say next.

The silence stretched between them, pressing against her chest.

"Callan..." she called softly.

"Hmm?" he answered, still not looking at her.

She hesitated. "I said I’m sorry," she repeated.

"I said I’m sorry too," he said simply.

"And?" she asked.

He turned this time. "What do you want me to say?" he asked calmly.

The question caught her off guard. "I don’t know... something," she said.

He gave a small shrug. "There’s nothing to say. It’s fine," he replied.

Emily’s brows pulled together. "It doesn’t feel fine," she said quietly.

Callan looked at her.

His expression didn’t change. "It is," he said.

But his eyes were distant. Like he wasn’t fully there with her.

Emily rose and took a step closer. "What’s wrong?" She asked, wondering why he seemed to be shutting her out over such a minor argument.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"You don’t seem okay," she insisted.

He sighed softly. "Emily..." he said, his voice still calm. "I said am fine. Let’s not drag it."

That hurt her because she knew him and this wasn’t him.

Maybe him in the past before he opened up to her, but not the Callan she was dating now.

"You promised to be vulnerable and to communicate," she whispered.

He held her gaze for a moment and the calm slipped for a second.

Just a second.

The hurt came rushing back but he swallowed it again and pushed it down. Because if he started talking, he wasn’t sure the extent he would go.

So he looked away from her. "I just don’t think there’s anything to talk about," he said.

Emily’s chest tightened. "There is," she said.

He didn’t answer. He walked past her and picked up his phone again then headed for the door.

Emily watched him. Her throat felt tight.

"Are you walking out on me?" she asked softly.

That made him pause for a second.

Then he turned to look at her. "No. I just don’t think I’m ready for all of this."

Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes widened. "All of what?" She asked, wondering if he wanted to end things with her over such an argument.

"Emily please. I’ve told you everything is fine. I just need a moment alone. I don’t want to say something we both might regret," he said after a brief pause.

Emily swallowed.

Why did he suddenly need a moment alone if entering was fine as he had said? It didn’t feel fine.

What could he say that they would regret? Why would it occur to him to say such a thing?

It felt like something had shifted and there was a wall between them now.

She didn’t know how to break it and he wasn’t letting her try.

She stood there for a few more seconds. Waiting and hoping he would say something else.

But he didn’t.

Callan just walked away and quietly shut the door behind him like he had already decided that whatever it was, wasn’t worth talking about.

Her chest tightened.

For a moment she contemplated whether she should stay in the room until he returned or go to her room.

She shook her head.

There was no need waiting here for him. She had swallowed her pride and had come to apologize to him, yet he was being this way.

She exhaled slowly. "I’ve tried," she said softly to herself.

Then she walked out quietly too and closed the door behind her.