"What are you thinking about?" Tom asked Dawn after she had been silent for a while as he drove them to the office.

Dawn turned to look at him, "Just random stuff," she said, then hesitated before adding, "Last time at Jamal’s, there was an incident between his mum and his sister."

Tom raised an eyebrow, "Candace and Mila?

Dawn nodded. "Jamal was sort of caught up in the middle."

"What incident?" He asked, and Dawn went on to tell him what had transpired.

Tom listened without interrupting.

He sighed when she was done. "I see. Why are you thinking about it now? Do you think it has something to do with why she wants to see you?"

Dawn shrugged. "I don’t know. Maybe," she said, then looked at the backseat to check on Josh, who had been busy on his tablet.

She smiled when she saw that he had dozed off. He always seemed to fall asleep so easily whenever a car was in motion.

"It just sort of brought our last conversation to mind. You know, about work and family balance," she explained, facing him again.

Tom nodded. "Candace does her best. She works hard, and she’s a good mum too."

Dawn nodded, "What would you advise her if she asked? Would you ask her to quit her job or take fewer assignments and focus on her family?"

Tom smiled. "Candace came a long way to get here. I can’t ask her to give it up. No one can. It wouldn’t be fair to her. Besides, she’s not the only parent, so why does she have to be the one to make that sacrifice? I trust Matt would handle it."

Dawn looked at him with interest, "How do you think he would do that?"

"You will have to wait and see. I believe he will ask for counsel from the men of the gentlemen’s club if he can’t handle it," Tom said.

"Is Jamal a member of the club?" She asked curiously.

"He is."

Dawn was silent for a moment, then she said, "You know you have a lot of influence on Jamal, right?"

Tom glanced at her, "I am his mentor, am I not? It’s nature I have a lot of influence on him. Does it bother you? Or do you not consider me fit to be his role model?"

Dawn was silent for a moment. "That’s not what I meant."

"Oh. What did you mean then?" Tom asked curiously.

Dawn sighed softly as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Uhm, we sort of had a misunderstanding the other day over what happened with Mila. We have resolved it now though. But it sort of made it dawn on me that we both have very separate personalities. And I was talking to Lucy last night. She mentioned she used to talk to your Dad a lot when you both had misunderstandings, because your Dad helped her get a clearer perspective of things..." she trailed off. 𝒇𝓻𝓮𝓮𝙬𝙚𝒃𝒏𝓸𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝓬𝓸𝒎

Tom turned to her when she didn’t say anything after a while. "Are you asking me to be to you what my Dad was to my wife?"

Dawn nodded slowly. "Yes. I don’t know much about relationships. But I love what you have with Lucy. And I know Jamal wants us to have something this strong too. So I’d like you to guide me from a male perspective, while Lucy guides me from a female perspective," then she added, "Only if you don’t mind."

Tom smiled. "I don’t mind," he said.

Dawn looked at him. "Thank you.

"But," he added gently, "there is something you need to understand."

She waited.

Tom glanced at her again. "We can guide," he said. "We can help you see things clearer. But we won’t stand between you and Jamal. And we won’t take sides."

Dawn nodded slowly. "I wouldn’t want that," she said.

"Good," Tom said. "Because what you both are building, it has to be yours. What Lucy and I share is ours. All our shared experience, both good and bad, brought us this far. In like manner, yours will take you far. You won’t need to copy and paste our relationship styles. You’ll both have to figure out what works for you. Every relationship is unique."

Dawn’s lips curved into a small smile. "Yes. I deeply believe that too."

Tom nodded once.

They drove in silence for a while, then Dawn turned her head slightly to look at him as she spoke again, "So, about the misunderstanding I had with Jamal... do you want to hear about it?"

Tom smiled. "Only if you want to share. But why do you want to talk about it if you’ve resolved it?"

Dawn shrugged. "I guess it’s still on my mind. Not the misunderstanding itself. The discussion we had while resolving it."

Tom nodded. "I’m listening."

Dawn went on to tell him about her discussion with Jamal about communicating clearly and talking over their misunderstandings rather than just moving on from it.

Tom’s expression grew a little more serious. "There is something you need to learn early," he said.

"What is it?" she asked softly.

Tom kept his eyes on the road. "Communication," he said. "Healthy communication."

Dawn listened.

"Misunderstandings will always come," he continued. "You’re two different people with two different ways of thinking. It is normal."

She nodded slowly.

"But what you do during and after the misunderstanding is what matters," he added.

Dawn watched him quietly.

Tom continued, his voice calm but firm, but he kept his gaze on the road. "When two people argue, it is easy to forget something very important."

She tilted her head slightly. "What?"

"That you are not enemies," he said. "I learned this early in life from my father, and so it helped me a lot in my relationship with Lucy."

Dawn’s brows pulled together a little.

Tom went on, "In the middle of an argument, it may feel like you are enemies. Voices rise. Emotions get strong. Words come out fast. But you must always remember that it is not you versus him."

She held his words.

"It is both of you versus the problem that’s making you argue," he said.

Dawn looked ahead, thinking.

"If you forget that," Tom added, "you will start fighting each other instead of fixing what is wrong."

She nodded slowly.

"And when that happens," he continued, "respect starts to slip. You find yourself saying things you don’t mean," Tom said. "You use words to win instead of trying to understand. You try to prove a point instead of trying to protect the relationship."

Dawn reflected back on her misunderstanding with Jamal.

Tom glanced at her briefly. "Have you ever said something in anger and later wished you could take it back?"

She paused. "I always try to be careful with my words. But I’ve done things in anger and wished I could take it back."

"That is what I mean," he said.

Silence filled the car for a second.

Tom spoke again, softer now. "You can disagree with someone and still respect them. Especially your partner. You can be upset with them and still treat them with kindness," he added. "You can fight. But fight right."

Dawn frowned slightly. "What does that mean?"

"It means you don’t insult," he said. "You don’t belittle. You don’t bring up past mistakes just to hurt the other person’s feelings. You must stay on the issue. You don’t turn it into a war."

Dawn nodded slowly.

"And you don’t try to win," he added. "An argument between a couple must not be about winning."

She frowned. "Why not?"

Tom smiled at her. "Because if one person wins and the other loses, the relationship loses. Think of your relationship as partnership. We call our husband or wife our life partners, right? It means you’re both on the same team for life. Does it make sense for one member of a team to win while the other loses? You win together, and lose together. It’s you both against whatever problem that comes up."

That stayed with her. "Hm. That makes sense."

Tom smiled. "As long as you always remember that Jamal is your partner, not your opponent, you’ll both be fine."

"So if I am not fighting to win, how do I get my point across?" she asked after a moment.

"You try understand," Tom said. "You listen to him. You make him listen to you and explain in a way he understands. And then you find a middle ground. If you both are able to put the other first in your search for a middle ground, it becomes easier. And sometimes," he continued, "you will need to give your partner time. Not every issue is solved in one conversation."

Dawn leaned back a little in her seat and let out a small breath. "Jamal needs to hear this lecture too," she muttered under her breath.

Tom chuckled at that. "This is for you. Never walk away from an argument and pretend nothing happened. A lot of people think peace means silence. They think if they don’t talk about it, it will go away. It doesn’t. That kind of silence builds distance," he said. "It may look like peace, but it is not. It is just two people avoiding each other’s truth. So talk even when it is uncomfortable. Talk, especially when it is uncomfortable."

Dawn was quiet for a while.

Then she spoke softly. "I feel like... if we talk too much about it, it might make things worse."

Tom shook his head slightly. "Only if you talk the wrong way," he said. "If you talk to hurt, yes, it will get worse," he added. "But if you talk to understand, it will always bring you closer."

Dawn took a deep breath. "I understand," she said quietly.

Tom gave a small nod. "Good."

She looked out the window, thinking deeply.

"Protect what you have together," he said after a while. "Even when you are upset with each other. That’s what works for us."

Then a small smile touched her lips. "I’ll try to remember that," she said.

Tom smiled. "That is all it takes," he said.

"You should be a relationship counselor or coach," Dawn teased and Tom laughed out loud.

"I don’t think anyone would be able to pay for my time. My service won’t be affordable."

"I guess I’m lucky then."

"You are. Aunt privilege," he said, turning to wink at her.

Dawn giggled.