Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive

Chapter 196: Julian’s confession

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Chapter 196: Julian’s confession

"I am... Kim Jowoon," The words slipped out of Julian’s mouth before he had time to think.

Yes, it was better this way. He would rather tell this man, the one who could even try to split the sun just to see him happy, everything.

"Just like he said, he was Julian Von Astrea, the real Julian Von Astrea, and I am Kim Jowoon. I came from another world and..." his voice got caught in the moment, and he panted, gulping down whatever was stuck in his throat. "Ah, it’s a lot harder to admit than I thought,"

Alaric did not interrupt him and let him speak.

"In my world, I was a teacher. I loved the silence of my home, I loved to water my plants by the window, I loved... my peaceful life." He pursed his lips, unable to meet the Duke’s eyes. "But even those who crave peace cannot escape trouble just because they are careful. On the day I tried to split my students who were fighting, I... I got pushed back and hit my head. Then, I woke up in this world as... Julian Von Astrea,"

Alaric didn’t flinch. He didn’t pull away or scrunch his face. Instead, his fingers, which had been resting tentatively on Julian’s cheek, slid back to cradle the nape of his neck, anchoring him.

His thumb traced the line of Julian’s jaw, steady and grounding, even as his own breath hitched in the hollow of his throat.

The silence of the cellar felt heavy, pressing in on them with the weight of two different worlds.

"A teacher," Alaric repeated quietly. The word felt clumsy and foreign on his tongue, a title from a life he couldn’t fathom.

He looked at Julian—at Kim Jowoon—and for the first time, the pieces of the puzzle began to form a picture that made a terrifying kind of sense.

The way Julian looked at the most mundane things was with a spark of alien wonder. The way he spoke of ’human rights’ and ’etiquette’ as if they were fluid concepts rather than divine laws.

The way he had handled Lucius was not with the cold distance of a noble tutor, but with the weary, practiced patience of a man who had spent years guiding children.

"I woke up in this world," Julian continued, his voice trembling as he finally forced himself to meet Alaric’s gaze. "I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know who you were. I just knew I was a dying man in a world that didn’t have cars, or electricity, or... or peace."

He waited for the rejection. He waited for Alaric to realize that the man he had fallen for, the man he had shared his bed and his secrets with, was a squatter in a dead man’s skin. A fraud.

But Alaric only tightened his grip, pulling Julian’s forehead against his own.

"So that is why," Alaric whispered, his voice thick with a sudden, raw realization. "That is why you looked at the stars in the North like you were seeing them for the first time."

"Ah, you saw me watching the stars?"

They weren’t that close then, but it seemed like the Duke had seen the things he thought no one did.

"I saw it in passing," Alaric said. "You stared at the stars so intently. Was it because in your world... you couldn’t see them?"

Julian let out a broken, wet laugh, a single tear finally escaping and splashing onto Alaric’s hand.

"The city lights... They were too bright. You could never see them like that."

"Then that’s that. I do not care about it." Alaric growled, the sound vibrating through Julian’s skull. "I don’t care if you came from the stars or from a world of silence. The man who stood up to Aurelian to save me was you. The man who held my son and made him smile was you. Kim Jowoon... Julian... it doesn’t matter. The soul I chose is the one sitting in this chair."

Julian’s heart did a soft pitta-patta, beating in a way that made the surrounding darkness in the cellar feel light. Being acknowledged like this... he didn’t know it would feel this good. It was like a massive burden had been lifted from his heart.

Alaric pulled back just an inch, his eyes burning with a fierce, tactical light. The confession was out, but the danger hadn’t moved. If anything, it had doubled.

"The truth serum," Alaric said, his mind already racing ahead. "If they ask if you are Julian Von Astrea, and you say no... they will call it a demonic possession. They will see a monster that ate a nobleman’s soul."

Julian’s breath hitched. He hadn’t even thought that far. The Royal Sanctum definitely did not have a category for ’accidental transmigration.’

"We cannot let you take that serum," Alaric stated, his voice turning into the cold, decisive tone of a Commander. "And we cannot stay here. If Aurelian thinks he can use the Sanctum to peel your mind apart just to satisfy his curiosity, he is mistaken."

Julian watched the Duke’s hand tighten on the hilt of his sword, the knuckles white and ready for slaughter.

For a moment, the temptation to run—to vanish into the North, hide in the Blackspire mountains and never look back—was overwhelming. But he knew the Emperor. Aurelian wouldn’t just let them go; he would hunt them until the North was nothing but ash.

If they ran now, they would be hunted as monsters forever. And that would just make things worse.

There was no rectification beyond that point.

"No," Julian said, his voice gaining a sudden, quiet strength. He shook his head, meeting Alaric’s fierce gaze. "I’ll take it. I’ll take the truth serum."

Alaric froze, his brow furrowing in deep confusion.

"Julian, you just told me... if you speak those words under the Sanctum’s influence, they will execute you on the spot. It is a death sentence."

"I have to," Julian insisted, though his insides were churning with a cold, hollow terror. "The peace I want... the life we want in the North... It can only happen if I face this. If we flee, you lose your title, your honor, and Lucius will lose his father. I won’t let that happen. I can’t let that happen because of me."

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