Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive
Chapter 223: Why would you put your hand on him?
Alaric stood there. He was still in his leathers from the mines, covered in soot, his golden hair wild, and his face a mask of such raw fury that the air in the library seemed to freeze instantly.
He saw Zane looming over Julian. He saw the proximity. He saw Julian’s hand on Zane’s chest, the flush on his face that looked, from a distance, like a guilty heat.
"Lu-Lucien!" Julian gasped, finally pushing Zane off and scrambling backward, his hip hitting the edge of the desk with a sharp thud.
He winced, but he did not pay attention to the pain; his heart was racing, worried that Alaric would misunderstand.
Alaric didn’t say a word. He walked into the room, his boots sounding like the tolling of a funeral bell as they clicked on the marble floor.
He didn’t look at Julian. His blue eyes—darker than a winter midnight—were fixed solely on Zane.
Zane slowly straightened, a lazy, unbothered grin spreading across his face.
"Ah, Cousin. You’re back early. We were just finishing a... private tutorial."
Alaric reached the desk. Without a word, he shoved Zane back with a force that sent the Prince stumbling into a bookshelf, the heavy mahogany creaking under the impact.
Then, Alaric turned. He grabbed Julian’s arm—not painfully, but with a possessive, trembling intensity that spoke of a man who was seconds away from losing his mind.
"Get out," Alaric rasped, his voice low, a vibrating promise of death directed at Zane.
"Lucien, wait, it’s not what—" Julian started, his voice small and terrified.
"I said," Alaric’s grip tightened on Julian’s arm as his gaze remained locked on his cousin, "Get. Out."
Zane let out a bright, mocking laugh, brushing the dust from his shimmering gold sleeves.
"Always the brute, Lucien. You should thank me. I was just trying to fix what you broke." He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest.
He took one last look at Julian before turning to the door.
"I guess we can pick up our lesson some other time."
His words vexed Alaric, and he was this close to unsheathing his sword when Julian grabbed his hand.
"Lucien," his eyes held glazed fear. "Don’t..."
Zane watched this exchange and felt it was more entertaining than any soap opera he had ever watched.
He chuckled deeply once again and finally strolled out, his laughter echoing down the hallway.
The library fell into a silence so heavy it felt like it would crush Julian’s ribs. Alaric finally turned to him, and the look in his eyes wasn’t just anger. It was a deep, bleeding hurt; his brows knitted hurtfully.
"Why?" Alaric whispered, the word sounding like it was being torn from his throat. "Why, Julian?"
Julian’s heart broke. For the first time, he didn’t have any words to say. He was... speechless.
The silence that followed was suffocating, filled only by the ragged breathing of two men standing in the wreckage of a sanctuary.
Julian’s hand was still wrapped around Alaric’s, but the skin beneath his touch felt like vibrating iron. 𝚏𝕣𝐞𝗲𝐰𝕖𝐛𝐧𝕠𝕧𝚎𝚕.𝐜𝚘𝗺
Alaric’s eyes, usually a fortress of cold blue, were fractured—not with suspicion of Julian’s heart, but with a raw, bleeding bafflement. The soot from the mines he had come from still shadowed his cheekbones, making him look older and dangerously exhausted.
He looked at Julian, searching for the logic he knew was always there.
"Why, Julian?" Alaric whispered, the word sounding like it was being torn from his throat. His brows were knitted in a pained furrow. "I told you what he was. I told you he was a snake who collects people like common things of interest. I trust you with my life... but I don’t understand why you would let him stand this close... Why you would put your hand on him?"
Julian’s heart was thumping heavily. He saw that Alaric wasn’t accusing him of infidelity; he was accusing himself of not being a safe enough harbor. Alaric was hurt that Julian felt the need to turn elsewhere, even for a moment, for whatever reason it was.
And Julian just stood speechless, his throat feeling as though it were filled with the very ash that had ruined their room the night before. The sight of Alaric’s trembling hands was more painful than any sword jabbed in his heart.
"Lucien," Julian finally managed, his voice a broken thread. "It wasn’t... I wasn’t looking for him. He found me."
"He was touching you," Alaric rasped, his grip on Julian’s arm tightening instinctively, as if he were trying to pull him back from a ledge. "He had his arms wrapped around you, and you were flushed. I saw your hands on his chest. I know you would never play with another man, but there is no changing what I saw, so tell me what is happening, Julian. Talk to me."
"My hands were on his chest because I was trying to shove him off!" Julian cried out, the words finally bursting forth as his eyes flooded with tears. "I was trying to get him to stop! I didn’t know he would stand so close and..." he felt like there was bile in his throat. "Hold me."
"Why did you stay in a secluded space with him? You know he’s a snake, and he will cross every boundary you draw." He was stating the obvious. Julian knew Zane had no boundaries, and that was why he planned to be careful. He... thought he was being careful.
"Why did you let him come this close before you realized it?" Alaric asked, his voice thick with breaking emotions.
"It’s because I... I let him speak to me because I felt like a failure!"
Alaric went still, his eyes narrowing in genuine confusion.
"A failure? What are you talking about?"
Julian let go of Alaric’s hand and covered his own face, his shoulders shaking.
"Last night. The Hearth-Gift. I ruined the room, I burnt the tea, and I even burnt the gift I made for you. You had to come back and take care of me when you were already exhausted instead of the other way round."
"Is that what this is all about?" Alaric asked, a little taken aback as he could not see a reason behind it. "Julian, I already told you it was fine. I don’t need you to prove anything. No matter what you do, it doesn’t matter because I already know you love me."
"But that doesn’t change how I feel." Julian suddenly yelled back, his emotions exploding everywhere.