Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive
Chapter 28: The child did not take my life
Julian was taken aback by the appreciation but he took it. He looked at the Duchess and bowed, she bowed lightly in turn, and he stepped back a few paces to let them be.
The silver mist began to shimmer around the Duchess’s phantasm more violently as the timer ticked down, the seconds bleeding away like the stardust in the broken glass. Duke Alaric didn’t care about the magic; he only cared about the warmth of her hands on his face, even if they were made of light.
"I missed you every single day," The Duke choked out, his voice raw with a decade’s worth of unshed tears. "Every morning I woke up and reached for you, only to find the bed cold. I was sorry... Bella, I am so sorry I didn’t listen. When you begged me not to go to the border, when you asked me to stay... I thought I was protecting the North. I didn’t know I was losing everything."
Bellanora’s phantasm sighed, a sound like wind through silk. She reached out her second hand, her glowing fingers tracing the rough line of his jaw.
"The war was never the tragedy, my love," she whispered, her purple eyes brimming with a sadness that made Julian look away.
What was this despair he was feeling?
"It is not your fault that I left. You must stop carrying my death as if it were a sin you committed." She said. "But..."
Her expression shifted, turning into a look of such profound disappointment mixed with pain that the Duke flinched as if she had struck him.
"Your fault is not in my passing, Lucien. It is in the child I left for you. I have been watching from the other side... and each time you cast him aside, each time he cried in the dark because he thought he was a curse... my heart broke anew. I could never truly rest in peace knowing our son was suffering while you didn’t even look at him. Perhaps that is why I am standing here now—because my soul could not turn away from his pain."
The Duke stiffened, his face contorting.
"But Bella... the child took you! He took your light, your breath—"
"No!" Her voice rang out, surprisingly sharp for a spirit. "The child did not take my life. It was my own weak body to blame, Lucien." Her eyes grew teary and she bit her lip. "Do not put the weight of a woman’s frailty on the innocent child’s shoulders. He did not kill me; he gave me a reason to smile even as I breathed my last. He was my pride and joy."
Even then, she could remember how happy she was as she held the boy in her arms, seeing his skin, his hair and his unopened eyes... He had his father’s everything. She was proud, she was glad... That even if she left, she would leave him with a gift he would cherish.
But what happened after that? He abandoned the child, made him suffer from neglect, cold, and being pointed fingers at.
He disappointed her.
But she wasn’t here to make him feel more guilty. She was here to make sure they moved on.
"Please... do not cast our child away anymore. And even if I am not here anymore, I hope you can find happiness... Be happy, Lucien. That is all I want for you."
> [Moonlit Echo — Time Remaining: 1:45]
The Duke’s shoulders slumped, the last of his defensive walls crumbling into the dust. He looked at Lucius, then back at the gradually fading image of his wife. The guilt he had used as armor was now a poison he was finally vomiting out.
"I... I was afraid," Alaric admitted, his voice barely audible.
"Then be brave for him," she said, pressing her head against his. "And for me. The child will not blame you if your walls crumble before him. He will love you and cherish you as much as you love and cherish him."
That was true. The child would not judge him, he would not hate him just because he failed once or just because he was vulnerable.
"Bella, do you resent me?"
"How could I, my love?" She said, smiling as tears rolled down her cheeks again. "I can never resent you. I love you, and I love him. So, love him for me, Lucien."
> [Moonlit Echo — Time Remaining: 0:25]
"Can you promise me that?" She asked and he looked down.
He could not make promises he couldn’t keep so he said,
"I will try."
She smiled.
"That is enough for me."
As the time fell into a countdown, her form began to dissolve into sparkles of light. She leaned forward, her translucent lips ghosting over his forehead.
Then, she raised her gaze to meet Julian’s and said,
"Thank you for this. And please, take care of him for me."
Julian did not know why the Duchess left such a responsibility for him, but at the time she was disappearing, and he could not bring himself to decline, so he bowed his head, giving not a yes or no answer.
With one final, lingering look at the sleeping boy and a soft, knowing nod toward Julian, the Duchess vanished. The silver light sucked back into the center of the room and disappeared with a soft pop.
The silence that followed was heavy, but it wasn’t the suffocating silence of the past. It felt... clean.
The Duke remained on his knees for a long time, his head bowed. Julian didn’t move, holding his breath as he watched the ’Lingering Peace’ buff settle over the Duke’s stats.
Finally, Alaric stood up. He didn’t look at Julian. He turned to the bed and sat there, he reached out and gently brushed a stray lock of dark hair away from Lucius’s forehead.
"He really does have my nose," the Duke whispered, a faint, sad smile appearing on his lips but even if he had found peace, he could not stop the tears from flowing down.
He bowed his head into his palms and cried, his broad and massive shoulders quaking.