Chapter 39: Be careful, Astrea

Julian had asked the Duke for a favor, just after they paid for the rooms. He said he wanted to be alone, if possible, and that he should use this opportunity to bond with his son more.

Hearing it was a good opportunity to bond with his son, the Duke agreed, but he made a statement about it being better if they shared the room.

This got Julian anxious, and he quickly dismissed the idea that it would be rude on his part to try to share a room with the Duke, no matter how familiar they were with each other.

Etiquette would not allow it, and if word got out... No one knows how... It would only put him, Julian, in a tight spot.

And that was how he was able to convince the Duke.

But the Duke was here again, looking for an excuse to talk to Julian, or maybe an excuse to see what he was up to, so that he wanted a room to himself.

Duke Alaric walked over and sat on the edge of the only chair in the room, his presence making the space feel like a cage for Julian.

He looked at Julian’s face—now shielded by the Veil of the Commoner as a test run—and he frowned.

"You look different tonight, Astrea," the Duke muttered, leaning forward. "Faded. Like a memory I can’t quite grasp."

Julian’s heart skipped, but he forced a calm smile. "Perhaps it is just the dim light, Your Grace." He guessed the veil was working out, after all.

"Perhaps." The Duke sighed, still keeping his tone soft. "Tell me... in the Capital... people will try to buy your loyalty. They will offer you gold and titles just to know the little secrets I have kept within my fortress. When that happens," his eyes turned a little cold. "...what will you tell them?"

Julian looked the Duke in the eye and without hesitation, he answered,

"I will tell them that I am a simple teacher, and that my only interest is in making sure my student grows up following what is right and hating what is wrong."

The Duke barked out a short, dry laugh. "Honest. I suppose that’s why the kid likes you. He seems to like honest people." He had a lingering guilt in his face but brushed it off and stood up to leave, but then he stopped at the door.

"Be careful, Astrea." He said those simple words and left.

As the door clicked shut, Julian slumped against the bed and pressed his palms on his face.

The realization that he was still ’medically’ defenseless hit him hard. He had the high-end silver beakers and the enchanted burner he got from the alchemy set tucked away in his inventory, but they were useless without the specific recipe and the stabilized ingredients he’d find in the Capital’s markets.

Tonight, he would have to face the darkness alone. Again.

He curled himself on his bed, wishing he didn’t have to face it again, wishing he could just not sleep, but there was no fighting exhaustion.

He had to sleep, and as he closed his eyes, he had a dream.

It was more like a nightmare because he found himself sitting in a dark space, and the only light was from the reflection of the broken mirror in front of him, which displayed a shattered version of his past life self.

Julian did not move, did not speak, and just sat in front of that mirror, hugging his knees like a child. He watched the broken mirror, like one would watch an old TV box that had only black and white displayed. Nothing of interest.

His body lay lifeless in the classroom, blood trickling out of his head.

There was no one else... He died a lonely life, it seemed.

’What am I doing here?’ he asked himself.

He didn’t know why he was seeing this or why he had no interest in fighting and struggling. He was just dull, like nothing and the world didn’t matter at all.

’I’m just going to wake up with the cold sweat and racing heart again. It’ll feel like I’m going to die, but I’m not dying,’ he thought and blinked his eyes.

Then, the mirror shattered further, and the scene shifted. The cold, sterile classroom was replaced by the image of a young boy with bright blue eyes—Lucius—reaching out toward the mirror. Behind him, the hulking shadow of the Duke loomed, his golden hair glowing like a dying sun.

’What... Are they doing here?’

He looked at the image of the Duke and Young Lucius, but noticed their faces, the ones he knew so well, were blurry.

He slowly began to panic, the dullness in his eyes vanishing. What was going on?

Even the eyes... The eyes that were looking at him just now had also vanished.

He lifted his head and then knelt down, looking at the broken mirror. He was still trying to figure out what was going on when they both turned around, and panic spread across his entire being.

"No, wait... Wait... Don’t go." He called, but it was as if his voice had drowned in his own throat.

’Don’t go!’ he screamed inaudibly, and then the dream fractured.

Julian’s eyes snapped open. The transition was like being hit by a tidal wave of ice water. His lungs seized, his throat closing as he let out a sharp, strangled gasp.

His heart didn’t just race; it hammered against his ribs with a violence that made his chest ache. Cold sweat poured down his neck, soaking the thin linen of his shirt in seconds.

He sat up, his body trembling so hard the bedframe creaked in the silence of the inn.

Inhale. Exhale.

He gripped his own shoulders, his fingers digging into his skin through the damp fabric.

It was 3:12 AM.

The room felt so small all of a sudden, the shadows in the corners closing in on him, and he trembled.

"Again," he whispered, his voice cracking.

He stayed there for an hour, huddled in a ball, waiting for his pulse to drop and his body to stop shaking.

He didn’t dare move, and it almost felt like he couldn’t breathe either.

The air in the room was too cold, and the sudden chill on his wet skin would only trigger another panic reflex.

He clutched his arm, wishing he no longer had to endure such suffering.

By the morning when the sun rose, he had calmed down and wore the mask of indifference, but there was no hiding the dark circles underneath his eyes.