Chapter 64: I am a guest, not a porcelain doll

The ingredients materialized on the table. The Northern pine was cold, smelling of frost and pine leaves, while the sun seeds smelled like monster seeds. They were small, but not as small as incredibly tiny monster seeds. They were about the size of beans. These small things cost Julian over 150 SP, but well, it was worth it for what he was about to make.

Julian didn’t stare at the ingredients for long and began to work, moving according to the system’s directions. He ground the seeds until his wrist ached. For bean-sized seeds, they were unnecessarily hard to grind. But he made it work. He boiled the base, watching the liquid shift from a bruised purple to a violent, hissing blue as he added the pine he had plucked out one by one.

He stirred the liquid in the cylinder thirty-three times. Clockwise. Precisely. His reflection in the bubbling liquid looked gaunt, but he turned away from it.

The potion finally settled. It was clear, shimmering, and beautiful. He poured it into a vial, the glass cool against his palm. His hand shook as he raised it above his head to take a look at the wonder he had created, and the system chimed at his success.

> {SUCCESS]

> [High-Tier Soul-Stabilizing Potion]

> [EFFECT: Ensure a good night’s sleep]

> [NOTE: One-time use only]

The one-time use only was regrettable, but it didn’t matter.

Julian swallowed as he looked at the result of his dedication. Tonight, he would get to have a good night’s sleep. 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎

Then, as he brought the vial to his lips, the door thudded, and he flinched, nearly dropping the vial.

He immediately hid the vial as well as his alchemy set as he heard the heavy door groan. As it pushed open, Duke Alaric stepped into the room.

Seriously, this man never knocks. And when he did, he didn’t wait and just let himself in.

He stood at the door, his white shirt unlaced, exposing the pulse point at his neck, and his hair was wild, as always. He smelled of woodsmoke and the sharp, acidic tang of wine. His blue eyes locked onto Julian with a desperation that made Julian’s skin crawl.

What did he come to find at this time of the night?

"You’re still awake," Alaric said. The voice was a low rasp, stripped of its usual iron.

"And apparently, so are you, your Grace,"

Alaric didn’t stay by the door for long and walked into the room, his boots silent on the rug. He stopped just inches away, the heat of his body cutting through the chill of the alchemy steam. He looked at Julian’s face, finally ready to meet his gaze, but then he began searching his face for something Julian wasn’t ready to give, making Julian uncomfortable.

"Your grace, is there something you need?"

"The Emperor," Alaric began, his jaw tightening so hard Julian heard the bone click. Was he okay?

"What about the Emperor, Your Grace?" Julian didn’t like that he was dragging his words. He should say his peace and leave.

"The Emperor’s words at the pavilion during breakfast... I know he was mocking you, and I’ll apologize for that. I came to see if you were... if you were alright."

Was that what he wanted to say, that he was slurring his words so much? Julian understood it was awkward talking like this again after the previous night, but he felt in a hurry to go to sleep. His sweet night’s sleep was waiting for him.

Julian felt irritated but quickly let it slide with a little inhale and exhale. He looked at the Duke and said, "I am a guest, not a porcelain doll to be checked for cracks, Your Grace. If I cannot handle the Emperor’s words, then I am probably not fit to be a tutor."

The Duke shifted uncomfortably to his words. He was just concerned that something had snapped in Julian, seeing how terrified he was at the table.

"I just wanted to let you know that the Emperor meant no harm. He just knows how to pick at a man," Alaric pressed, his voice dropping a little low as he himself did not fully believe his brother meant no harm in that instant.

He just wanted to ease Julian’s worry, whatever it may be.

He looked at Julian, who was staring at him, waiting for any more words he might have to say. He looked at his odd colored eyes, from the blue to the purple, and then felt his stomach pool up with so many words to say.

So many things to do.

He reached out, his hand hovering near Julian’s shoulder, but he could not touch him, and let it fall away, useless.

The Duke’s conscience was bleeding through his skin. He clearly believed Julian had forgotten the night they spent together, and that was why he could still stand in front of him.

He believed it was all under the rug, and yet, he couldn’t stop himself from replaying the night in his head, as if he wanted it to happen again.

"I am fine," Julian said, his voice calm. He brushed his hand over his neck, feeling his body heat up all of a sudden.

Like the Duke, he had also been replaying the scenes of the previous night in his head, but unlike the Duke, who wished to reenact it in some way Julian would not remember, Julian wished for it to stay buried and become a thing that never happened.

As the Duke had pretended nothing had happened, he wished for the pretense to continue, because he didn’t want to have to face the reality of it.

"If that is all, Your Grace, I would like to rest."

But even as Julian said this, Alaric didn’t leave. He stepped even closer, his presence expanding until it filled every corner of Julian’s vision.

Julian’s heart did a dull, heavy thud that his own ear caught the sound of it. He stayed perfectly still, his throat hitched.

He knew that if he tried to evade the Duke, it was the same as him admitting he felt the tension... that he knew something. So, he had to stand there like a statue.