“You really don’t know how to milk a sponsor.”

“I’m saving it to blow it big later. One massive shot. Bang.”

I mimed firing a gun as a joke. It must’ve landed, because Lee Kangjoo laughed out loud. No matter how many times I heard it, that laugh sent a low ripple through my chest.

“I’m serious. When the time comes, you’re not allowed to complain that I spent too much.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Let’s see how big you go.”

While we talked, the sun slowly sank beneath the sea. The sky that had been burning red pulled a black curtain over itself, and a half-crushed moon stamped its mark above it. Waves rolled in, stirring up pearly foam.

“It’s been forever since I’ve seen the ocean at night.”

“When was the last time?”

I rubbed my chin, digging through my memory. It was not long after I’d escaped that cramped back room. One day, out of nowhere, Yohan threw me onto the back of his bike and took me to the sea.

We sat on the beach all night. We didn’t need to talk much. We didn’t even drink. Just smoked a few cigarettes, hummed songs we both knew, and when we got sleepy, leaned on each other’s shoulders and dozed off.

All the while, I kept feeling this urge to throw myself into the waves. Every time it crept up, Yohan would somehow catch it instantly and start talking, dragging my attention elsewhere. We crawled through that long night and made it to dawn alive. Watched the sun rise in all its grandeur over the horizon.

“I came with Yohan a few years ago. We watched the sunrise... it was really amazing.”

That sunrise stayed with me for a long time. Even now, when everything feels too heavy, I think about that day—the sun climbing up and dyeing the whole world red. It fills up my drained courage just a little.

But maybe that had an expiration date too. It didn’t work as well anymore. Next time, maybe I should ask Yohan to watch the sunrise from a mountain instead of the sea. I found myself worrying about stupid shit like that.

“Want to walk for a bit?”

I tore my gaze from the distant horizon and suggested it to Lee Kangjoo. He never refused. We walked side by side across the damp, packed sand.

The wind and waves blended softly together when, like a jarring note, a ringtone cut through. His phone. I caught a glimpse of the name Yang Seokho and quietly stepped away. It felt like basic manners not to overhear business talk.

I stopped far enough that I couldn’t hear his voice. From behind, I watched him as he took the call. It didn’t look like it’d be short.

Left alone, I kicked at seashells half-buried in the sand. A wave crept up and licked the front of my sneakers, making me pause. When I looked up, there was nothing but the vast, empty sea. It felt like only me and that black water existed in the world.

“......”

We came all this way. Could I really leave without dipping a foot in?

On impulse, I took off my sneakers and socks, rolled up my pants. Step by step, the shallow water splashed around my feet. The winter air was dry and biting, but the water was warmer than that. Lukewarm currents brushed gently over my bare ankles.

And suddenly, that old impulse from back then rose again. I stepped forward once more. The waves rolled in and retreated, over and over, like they were beckoning me.

A reckless kind of courage surged up. It felt like it would be fine to go a little deeper. The dark sea and its heaving waves looked almost comforting.

If I went in there, I could probably rest peacefully. No more worries.

The water was already sloshing around my shins. A few more steps and it’d reach my chest—my neck.

By the time the softened current swallowed my knees, a force yanked me back from behind. My body tumbled. The waves tickled my shoulders. “Cha Haejun!” My name hit my ears half a beat late, like an echo.

I fell backward into the water. Seawater splashed across my face and upper body. The warmth I’d thought I felt vanished—it was shockingly cold. That snapped me awake.

“Uh......”

Lee Kangjoo stood over me.

I’d never seen that expression before. It looked like fire was about to drop from his eyes, his lips pressed into a straight line like he might erupt any second. 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

He might hit me. I was used to violence. But being hit by Lee Kangjoo would be... far worse. For my body. For my head.

I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself. Instead, he dragged a hand down his own face. After a long breath, he [N O V E L I G H T] grabbed me by the back of the neck and hauled me up from where I sat trembling in the water. I must’ve looked pathetic—soaked like a drowned rat, blue and shivering.

“You did it on the bridge too. You see water and you just want to jump in?”

I slowly cracked one eye open. He was looking at me like I couldn’t possibly get any more pathetic than this. I shook my head hard, droplets flying from my wet hair.

“No! No, it’s not like that. I was just going to dip my feet for a second, but then I snapped out of it and somehow I was already—”

Even I didn’t understand why I’d done that. The only explanation was that some water ghost had dragged me in. The sea had just looked so soft. Like if I lay down inside it, I wouldn’t have to struggle anymore.

“I’m serious. I was just going to wet my feet while waiting for you, sir—”

The soaked clothes clung to my skin like thin sheets of ice layered over me. My teeth chattered violently.

He gripped my wrist tightly and pulled me out of the water. I hadn’t noticed going in, but trying to walk on wet feet through sand made me sink in with every step. I stumbled, but he didn’t slow down. It was like his sole objective was to get me as far from the sea as possible. He didn’t release my wrist until we reached the car.

“Get in.”

“I, uh... I left my shoes. Can I just go grab them?”

I was shaking, but I still forced the words out. I only owned two pairs of sneakers, and I’d just abandoned one on the beach. I kept glancing back regretfully, but he said nothing and opened the car door.

I felt bad about dirtying the seat with my soaked clothes, sand sticking everywhere. But I couldn’t go back for my shoes, and I couldn’t strip naked outside either, so I just got in quietly.

He cranked the heater up high and stayed outside. I fidgeted my fingers and peeked through the window.

A cigarette hung from his lips. The lighter flared like a candle flame.

I’d wanted to see him smoke again. Just not like this.

He glanced at me once inside the car, then turned away and exhaled smoke that looked suspiciously like a sigh. He pressed his thumb to the furrow between his brows, then brought the filter back to his lips.

He really did smoke like it tasted good.

The sight alone made me crave one. I wanted to go stand next to him and light one up too. Obviously, that was just a fantasy. I’d just pulled a massive stunt—what right did I have to slink out and casually smoke beside him?

He must’ve gotten wet hauling me out, but even after finishing his cigarette, he didn’t get back into the warm car. Sometimes he looked at me with a gaze I couldn’t read, then turned away like something irritated him.

Maybe he was watching me. In case I got another urge and tried to run back into the water.

“......”

Still. He saved me this time.

When I was hanging over that railing before, he just watched. Compared to that, this was a huge improvement. Maybe he just didn’t want to get charged with aiding suicide.

The air inside the car grew warm. My wet clothes turned lukewarm as they dried, and my frozen body slowly melted.

I forced my eyes open to watch for him. I’d messed up, so at the very least I shouldn’t fall asleep before the car’s owner came back. I pinched my thigh, but pain wasn’t enough to fight off the drowsiness.

My head started to nod. Then it tipped sideways with a small jerk. My lips parted slightly as I fell into a deep sleep, steady breaths slipping out.

Not long after, the car door opened. Even with the sound, I didn’t wake.

At the faint wheeze of my breathing, Lee Kangjoo brushed the back of his hand lightly across my forehead. No fever this time.

He stared down at the warmth lingering in his palm and faintly furrowed his brow.

I really had a talent for making things troublesome. It might be easier to just dump me here and leave.

But if he left me like this, I’d probably wake up half-asleep and mistake the sea for a bed, staggering back toward it. I’d tried to jump from a bridge, and now I couldn’t resist water. I’d only just recovered from a cold and already I was out here doing stupid shit again.

And it irritated him that someone who lost every last coin in his pocket to loan sharks every month still insisted on buying drinks with his own money.

I sniffled in my sleep. With this grimy face, pale cheeks, chapped lips, and a jaw sharpened by illness, I probably looked pitiful to most people.

He watched me for a moment, then took off his coat and draped it over me. Like I was seeking a heated floor, I burrowed into it instinctively.

“......”

Better to dry me off properly first.

He raised the temperature even higher and gripped the steering wheel. If he wanted to stop Cha Haejun from diving into the water again, he needed to get us out of here as fast as possible.