Chapter 447: What It Means to Stay

Orion didn’t say anything.

He stood just inside the room, the door still half-closed behind him, his hand resting loosely on the handle. His eyes were on Sophia, steady and unreadable.

But he didn’t need to speak.

Sophia inhaled slowly.

"I understand," she said quietly.

Her voice sounded steadier than she felt.

"I really do. I understand where you’re coming from."

Sophia swallowed.

"I know you were angry because I got hurt," she continued. "And because I didn’t take care of myself. And especially because I collapsed."

Her fingers twisted together in her lap.

"You were scared too."

Orion’s jaw shifted.

She lifted her eyes to him.

"And you were...right."

That made his brows draw together.

Sophia let out a small, breathless laugh.

"I hate that I’m admitting it, so enjoy it while it lasts."

His mouth twitched despite himself.

She went on before he could speak.

"I really do neglect myself most of the time, especially when there’s someone in danger. I put other people first... almost automatically."

Her voice dropped.

Sophia stared down at her hands.

"It’s not that I want to get hurt," she said slowly. "I don’t... go looking for pain. Even you know that I don’t go about looking for situations where I injure myself. I mean, take the training ground for instance—the day we first started training officially, I didn’t even touch the weapons rack and it fell down."

Orion chuckled at that. That was certainly true.

"But I think a part of me really does believe that if something bad has to happen, especially to people I care about, then it should be me instead," she told him.

Orion stiffened. He was about to speak, but she shook her head.

"No—listen. Let me finish."

She raised her hand slightly toward him.

Sophia gave him a small, pleading look.

"Please."

After a moment, Orion nodded once.

Her hand lowered.

"I think," she said carefully, choosing her words like fragile glass, "I... I’m not really sure, but maybe it’s something that has been stuck with me for a while. I think I have this issue where I see myself as less important than those I care about, than those in danger."

Orion’s eyes darkened, but Sophia rushed on.

"I don’t mean it in a dramatic way. I’m not trying to sound tragic."

A soft, humourless huff slipped out of her.

"It’s just... if someone has to get hurt, there’s this feeling that I have where I think it would be better if it was me instead and not them. If someone has to take the risk, then it should be me and not people like Tarin."

She lifted her shoulders faintly.

"I did it subconsciously and I had no idea I was even doing it. I think maybe this has something to do with my memories... I’m not sure."

Her throat tightened.

"But as I was saying, I see it now."

She looked at him properly.

"I see why it hurts you."

She exhaled.

"And... it’s also because of you."

That caught his full attention.

"That I’m willing to try to be better and take care of myself better," her voice softened as she spoke. "Now I can’t stop asking myself, what if something had happened and I couldn’t return back to you? What if I endanger myself and endanger my friends too—my family, this pack?"

"I can’t have you sobbing over me like a child. I’d rather see you sobbing than be gone and not witness it," she told him.

Orion let out a light chuckle at that.

Sophia gathered herself.

"But there’s one thing you should know."

She stared directly into his eyes.

"If I was in that same situation again... and Tarin was dying in front of me... I would still do everything in my power to save him," she told him.

"And I would do everything in my power to save Ronan," she added. "And the others too."

Her voice did not waver.

"But I would also take myself into consideration."

She spoke slowly.

"I would work within what I can actually do. I would look for help if I can get it, or look for a way that will help minimize the danger to both parties."

A small, determined smile touched her lips.

"Like you said, I can still help people... without destroying myself in the process. So here’s me promising that I’ll try to be better."

When she finished, the room felt very, very quiet.

They just stared at each other. 𝒇𝒓𝙚𝒆𝔀𝓮𝓫𝒏𝓸𝙫𝓮𝓵.𝓬𝙤𝙢

Orion didn’t move.

For a long moment, Sophia wondered if she had said too much.

Or not enough.

Then Orion closed his eyes. He exhaled slowly and crossed the room, closing the distance between the both of them in a few long strides.

Before Sophia could say another word, his hands were already at her face.

He leaned down and kissed her.

It was sudden and deep and full of everything he had been holding back since she opened her eyes.

Sophia wasted no time and kissed him back just as eagerly.

Her fingers curled into his shirt, and his hand slid into her hair.

For a brief, dizzy moment, the room disappeared completely.

They broke apart only when they had no choice but to breathe.

Orion rested his forehead against hers.

His voice was low.

"Shorty... you are incredibly stubborn."

Sophia smiled at him.

"You like it, you oaf."

A soft chuckle escaped him.

He leaned back slightly, his thumb brushing her cheek.

"I do."

He exhaled.

"I’m glad you’re okay, shorty."

His voice dropped.

"And I’m sorry for attacking you like that the moment you woke up."

Sophia shook her head.

"It’s okay."

She smiled faintly.

"Honestly... I deserved it."

He frowned.

"No, you—"

She cut him off with a light touch to his chest.

"It’s fine. Really."

Her expression softened.

"I needed to hear it."

Orion studied her face for a moment.

Then, finally, some of the tension in his shoulders loosened.

Sophia hesitated.

"Marta told me something."

He lifted a brow.

"She said I was unconscious for almost two days."

"Yes, you were. Those two days were torture," he told her with a smile.

"I know you missed me a lot," she told him.

"I did," he told her.

Orion moved closer and carefully shifted onto the edge of the bed beside her.

The mattress dipped under his weight.

He leaned back against the headboard, stretching his legs out a little.

Sophia leaned against him, breathing his familiar scent in.

"I wonder what happened during those two days."

Orion glanced at her. It was only then that she noticed the bags under his eyes.

"A lot," he said with a yawn.

Sophia frowned.

"And the only way we’re even getting proper answers is when you join us again," he told her.

"What could possibly happen in two days for you to say a lot like that?" she asked quietly.

Orion chuckled and kissed her softly, playing with her hair.

"Shorty, you have no idea."