"Hey," I called to her with a weak smile.

"Nice space," she said, walking in with her arms crossed and eyes shifting about.

Maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me, but she looked thinner than before. She looked a bit awkward and small, but she was putting on a pleasant enough of an expression.

I hadn’t seen her since I had asked her to be apart of the charity. It was nice to see her, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she had been getting up to.

"Thanks," I breathed. "How’s it going?" I asked.

"It’s going," she muttered. "Not been up to much. Just going around, really. Traveling the area."

I nodded, and for some reason felt a deep awkwardness. Something was in the air and I couldn’t identify it. It was like she had something to say, but was afraid to say it.

That wasn’t like Kristen, though. Kristen had always been headstrong, opinionated, and never afraid to speak her mind.

What could it be that got to her like that? Nothing could come to mind.

Still, she moved about with a bit of a reluctant shuffle as she took in the sights of the room. "Looks like you could open up your own little shop in here," she commented.

"Roman went a bit overboard," I chuckled softly. "He wasn’t sure what I would like."

"Have you found anything?" she asked as she opened a drawer and pilfered through the items.

"I like pottery and painting," I said with a shrug. "They’ve been the only things that have really captured my attention."

"Pretty good choices." Kristen nodded as she spotted the pottery wheel. She moved over and ran her fingertips across the top of it. "I think the last time I made anything pottery wise was a fish in the second grade," she chuckled. "It was so round and lumpy, it looked more like a rotten orange than the goldfish I was going for."

I chuckled with her. "I’m sure it was cute, though."

When the thick atmosphere returned, I cleared my throat and eyed her cautiously. "Is there something on your mind, Kristen? You seem a bit... distracted."

"Yeah, there is," she breathed. "I’m just working up the courage to say it."

I was still, leaning against the massive workbench in the middle of the room.

I didn’t want to push her to talk, or risk pushing any of her many buttons. I would let her take all the time she needed to get it out. Whatever it was, I knew it had to be serious, and I didn’t want to leave her at a time like that.

Kristen continued about the room, making comments over things here and there that she saw. I replied where appropriate, but for the most part, I kept quiet.

Eventually, she found her way to the workbench and stood next to me.

She leaned back against it and crossed her arms. "I’ve been thinking a lot about the charity you’re starting," she muttered.

"Oh?" I muttered. "If you’ve decided against joining, that’s okay—"

"It’s not that," she said, shaking her head. "It’s not that. It’s... I don’t think you should start it."

"What?" I blinked. "Why? I thought you said it was a great idea."

"It is a great idea," she nodded. "I do. I think it’s a beautiful thought and mission. I think you’ve thought out so much of it, better than I ever could... But..."

Kristen sucked in a deep breath and eyed me before looking down.

"I’m afraid that it’s going to keep you in the life. You know? You’re going to be surrounded by people and things that remind you of the Auction House and your experience there. It’s going to keep you in this headspace of hurt and ache, when you have the opportunity to get away from it all, you know? You and Roman could move away and leave everything behind. I mean, I know he has his business—but it could be managed from a distance, you know? You could leave and heal and have it be nothing but a stain on the memory of your past."

I was silent, soaking in what she was saying. I could tell that she had put a lot of thought and consideration into coming to me with that.

Still, I was lost. I didn’t know why she was saying something now, when we had already discussed this before.

"Where is this coming from?" I asked with a gentle push.

She shrugged. "I heard what happened at the charity. I’m worried you making it your mission to help other women is just going to keep a target on your back, and keep you in the same headspace as you have been since the Auction House. Which is horrible, when you have the opportunity to be free from all of it."

"Do you think it’s stupid of me?" I asked, my voice sincere instead of defensive.

She shook her head. "I think it’s reckless, not stupid. I think that, if there had ever been a chance for me to get away from it all, I would have."

"That’s still an option for you," I urged.

Kristen shook her head again. "No. It’s not. I was in too long, and it’s already made me who I am. There’s no choice for me out there other than this. Other than making a difference and fighting against them."

"Are you saying you want to run the charity instead of me?" I asked her, a bit of hurt seeping into my tone.

"It’s not like that," Kristen muttered. "It’s not like I think I could do it better. If anything, it would be worse. But I’m just... I don’t know. You were in so briefly, that I can’t help but be hopeful for you that you could get away from it and stay away. And heal and leave it behind you."

I slowly put an arm around her in a comforting manner. To my surprise, she leaned into it.

"I think any amount of time in there would be enough to change anyone," I whispered. "I don’t think that moving will make it go away. And I would rather use this position of privilege I have being married to Roman to give back, rather than just trying to run away from what I can’t forget."

Kristen eyed me curiously. "When did you get so wise?"

"Too much time by myself thinking through things, I think," I chuckled shyly.

Kristen pulled me into a hug. "I’m still going to help. It was just weighing on me. I want you to promise me you’ll think about it."

"I’ll think on it," I assured her, "If you promise to set an appointment with one of my counselors."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because say I do listen to you and I leave, I want to leave knowing I at least helped you."

She squeezed me and nodded.

"Okay, deal."

With that, she headed toward the door.

"What have you been out doing?" I called after her, the curiosity gripping me. She came and went like an apparition; I couldn’t help but wonder what it was she did while away from the mansion all the time.

"A little of this, a little of that," she winked at me.

And just like that, she was gone, leaving me none the wiser as to what it was she did when not at the house.

I think she liked being an allusion, a mystery, a question mark of a person. And, likely above all else, she enjoyed her privacy. I had to respect that, and I wouldn’t pry any further.

Once she left, I put away my sketchbook and pencils, but gave myself some time to think over my conversation with Kristen.

My heart was touched that she felt so moved and concerned for my safety, that she had that talk with me. I would consider what she had to say, but I really didn’t think it would change my mind. The charity gave me purpose and I couldn’t imagine wanting to do anything else but give back and help women like the ones I had met during my brief stint at the Auction House.

I prided myself for standing by my own experience and trauma from the Auction house. It would have been so easy, just a few months ago, for a talk like that to move me to question myself and my own feelings. However, I knew better now—and I knew that Kristen didn’t mean harm by any of it. Nothing had been a slight at me, and it had only been concern.

Taking in a deep breath, I moved to the door to head down to the gym. I needed a run to clear my head at that point. It was the only thing I could think to do.

As I left the room, I almost face planted into Roman’s chest.

Looking up at him, I gave him a weak smile. "Hey."

He looked nervous and my heart fluttered.

Was something wrong? Had something happened?