The Last Place Hero's Return
Chapter 237: Mayday (2)
Silence settled over the lounge. In the stillness that followed, so complete it felt as though time itself had frozen, Iris subtly turned her head and glanced at Berald, Camilla, and Senior Sophia. “I’m sorry, everyone, but could you head back first today? Dale has something he needs to discuss with us for a moment.”
“Please,” Yurina added.
With gentle smiles playing at their lips, Iris and Yurina issued what was unmistakably a polite but firm dismissal.
I desperately looked at them with an expression that said, No! Please don’t go!
Perhaps because my desperate inner plea reached him, Berald shot me a quick look before abruptly leaping to his feet.
He said, “Sister Iris! Sister Yurina! Aren’t you being a bit too harsh on Big Bro?”
Oh yes! I knew I could count on you, you brat!
“Big Bro probably had his reasons and couldn’t help it, so—”
“Shut it,” Iris replied.
Berald apologetically looked at me. “Sorry, Big Bro. Sister Iris is terrifying.”
You little shit.
“T-then we’ll be heading out first!” Berald effortlessly scooped up Senior Sophia. “Come on, Senior Sophia! Let’s go, let’s go!”
“Eek! H-hey! Where are you touching right now?” yelled Senior Sophia, as Berald bolted out of the lounge in a flash.
Camilla clicked her tongue and rose from her seat. “This is all the karma you’ve built up for yourself. Accept it graciously.”
Damn it! I can’t even think of a single thing to argue back with!
“Well then. See you in your next life— No, I mean, later,” she added.
“I definitely heard ‘next life’ just now.”
“You imagined it.”
Drawing a quick sign of the cross in the air, Camilla swiftly exited the room.
Just like that, the only ones left in the lounge were Iris, Yurina, and me.
Iris looked at me. “Dale!”
I turned to Iris, tense all over. “Y-yes.”
However, to my surprise, she wore a gentle smile, one befitting the title of Saintess. “Do you have any idea how worried I was while we couldn’t reach you?”
“I’m sorry. I promise it won’t happen again.”
Sitting to my right, Iris clung to my arm like she was being affectionate, softly resting her head against my shoulder. “I’ll believe you. Hah! It’s only been about ten days, but it felt like we were apart for years.”
“Come on, even if so, that’s a bit of an exagge—”
Before I could finish, she smiled sweetly and said, “You feel the same way too, don’t you, Dale?”
“Yes. Of course.”
It really did feel like the world had changed while I wasn’t looking.
Beaming, Iris rubbed her cheek affectionately against my shoulder. “Heehee. I knew you’d say that.”
Yurina butted in. “That’s unfair. Only Iris gets to do that.”
Still disguised as Yuren, she puffed out her cheeks cutely and wrapped her arms around my other arm as if refusing to lose. Because she was wearing the pendant, what pressed against my arm wasn’t soft flesh but the firm, solid feel of muscle, vividly transmitted even through our clothes.
I looked at her. “U-um, Yurina?”
“Hm? What is it?”
“T-that pendant... You’re still wearing it.”
With a sly smile in her eyes, Yurina pressed even closer. “So? Just in case, I should keep it on while we’re inside the academy.”
Up until now, she had always taken it off inside the party house.
“Aaah, if I had gone outside the academy with you, Dale, I could’ve stayed as Yurina the whole time,” she added.
“Urgh!”
Damn it. When you put it like that, I’ve got nothing to say!
“Heehee. By the way, Dale, have you eaten yet?” Iris asked.
“Huh? No, not yet.”
“Then I’ll make you something first.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
It had been a long time since Iris had cooked for me. Sure, I had been enjoying luxurious meals served at the Imperial Palace every day lately, but maybe because of that, I had been craving the simple, home-style food Iris made herself.
“Please wait just a moment.”
Iris stood up and headed into the kitchen. Soon, clattering sounds echoed, followed by an appetizing aroma, or so I thought.
“Huh?”
Wait. What is she making that smells this fishy? I wondered,
After returning to the room, with a bright smile on her face, Iris placed a golden-brown baked pie on the table. “Alright! Today’s menu is a pie made in the traditional style of the Holy Empire.”
Yes, technically speaking, it was a pie, but it didn’t look like one.
“Why is there a fish head sticking out of it?” I asked out of genuine concern.
“Oh my! Don’t you know? In some regions of the Holy Empire, this is a healthy food that they eat from time to time. It’s a sardine pie, ground sardine meat mixed into the dough and baked.”
Sardine pie? A pie made by grinding fish meat into it? Why would anyone commit such an atrocity? I thought.
I hadn’t even tasted it yet, but the visuals alone were overwhelming. A fish head blooming like a grotesque flower atop the pastry, paired with a strong fishy odor mixed into an otherwise sweet aroma. Even though I had eaten nothing all morning and was quite hungry, instead of stimulating my appetite, this dish made my stomach churn with nausea.
Smiling brightly, Iris offered me a fork. “Go on, Dale. Please eat.”
Given my guilt, I couldn’t bring myself to say I didn’t want to eat it.
Alright. Even if it looks like this, maybe it tastes surprisingly good? No matter how bad the reputation of the Holy Empire’s food is, surely, they wouldn’t make something completely inedible, right? I wondered.
“Thanks for the meal.”
Forcing an awkward smile, I cut a bite-sized piece of the sardine pie and put it into my mouth. And then, the overpowering fishy taste flooded my mouth.
“Ugh!”
If it were just fishy, that would’ve been manageable, but mixed with the sweetness of sugar, it delivered a level of horror my taste buds had never experienced before. It was like biting into grilled fish coated in sugar.
“Guh! Ngh— urgh.”
Iris lowered her eyes, her expression turning sorrowful. “Does it not suit your taste? I worked really hard on it, thinking of you, Dale.”
“N-no, it’s fine. R-really. It’s, um, edible.”
“Oh my, really? That’s such a relief.”
Smiling sweetly, she picked up a large piece of the pie, with the fish head still attached, and brought it right up to my mouth. “Dale. Say ah!”
I was speechless.
“Come on. Say ah.”
“Yes, Saintess.”
Yeah. I knew it. Things had gone way too smoothly earlier.
After having a sardine pie shoved halfway into my mouth like that, I clamped my lips shut and endured the nauseating, fishy stench rising from my gut. “Guhk.”
Iris gently rubbed my head, as if praising a child who had just forced down vegetables they hated, like bell peppers. “Heehee. Well done. Alright then, shall we move on to dessert now?”
I flinched. The word dessert made my shoulders tremble on their own. When I looked up at Iris with a pitiful expression, she stuck close beside me and sat down, a deep smile curling on her lips.
“For dessert, I prepared some cherries,” she said.
“Cherries?”
I turned my head and scanned the area, but there was no sign of any cherries.
“What are you looking for? They’re right here, beside you, Dale.”
Iris tapped her lips with her finger. Only then did I understand what she meant by dessert.
“Uh, could I maybe brush my teeth first before we eat?” I asked.
“Nope. I can’t wait any longer.”
Iris pulled me in by the neck and pressed her lips to mine. The soft, pliant sensation of our tongues tangling together filled my mouth. I had just eaten that horrific monstrosity called sardine pie, so I had expected a lingering fishy taste, but whether it was some kind of magic or not, all I could sense in Iris’s kiss was sweetness.
After the long kiss ended, Iris gazed at me with hazy eyes, as if intoxicated. “Haa! Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since I last tasted you, Dale. It feels extra special.”
Hey, the way you put that makes me sound like some kind of regional specialty.
“I enjoyed dessert too,” I replied.
“Oh my! You can’t say that like you’re already finished. There’s still more dessert left, you know.”
“Huh?”
Thinking she was asking for another kiss, I looked at Iris, only to see a mischievous smile forming at the corner of her lips.
She took my hand and placed it against her chest. “See? Right in here. There are still two cherries left.”
“Excuse me?”
I was pretty sure I had misheard that.
“It’s a little embarrassing, but you and Yurina already have a bond, don’t you? We all know everything about each other by now. There’s no reason to be shy.”
“N-no, even so, that’s a bit too.”
“Dale’s right, Iris,” Yurina said.
Yes. See? Yurina gets it. Unlike that wicked Saintess, she’s actually sensible, I thought.
However, betraying my expectations, Yurina continued, “Iris, you kissed him first, so this time I get to go first!”
What was she even saying now?
Yurina enthusiastically shouted, “Come on, Dale! Over here!”
She unbuttoned her shirt and bared her chest. My eyes were immediately drawn to the firm, muscular torso before me. “No no no no no no no no no no no.”
Please calm down, Yurina. This is not okay in Yuren form! I shouted inwardly.
“What do you mean, not okay? Come on, Dale! Get over here!”
“S-stop!”
A-at least take off the pendant first!
“Hyah!”
* * *
After experiencing an intense reunion with Iris and Yurina, I staggered through the darkened academy grounds on my way back to the dormitory. It felt like a warning not to go out of contact again.
With bitter regret weighing on my heart, I arrived in front of my dorm room door. At least it felt like I had managed to smooth things over between the two of them. Things would be fine from here on out.
Right now, I felt even more exhausted than I was after fighting the Apostles of Ruin. However, since neither of them had followed me all the way to my room, I figured I could sleep peacefully tonight.
With that thought, I opened the door, only to hear a familiar moan echo from inside the room.
“Ugh, ahh! Haa! Dale’s scent. I love it. Dale, where are you? Why didn’t you contact me? I’m... so cold like this, I can’t last even a single day without you, Dale. Why? Why didn’t you send me anything? Huh? Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale.”
The blanket on the bed was raised into a rounded mound. Something inside it was wriggling restlessly.
“Haa! My scent alone isn’t enough, Dale... I need your warmth. Ahh. I-I knew it. I should have cut you into little pieces and frozen them. I really should have.”
I quietly closed the door again.
“Hoo!”
I lifted my head and gazed up at the night sky. Pitch-black darkness stretched overhead, so deep that not even starlight was visible.
“I’ll sleep at the party house tonight.”
Just as I turned to head back there, the door slowly opened.
Wrapped in a blanket with only her mouth visible, Laneige stepped outside, beaming brightly. “Dale, you’re back?”
Then, she murmured some intelligible phrases, “I... constantly... here... shivering in the cold. On your bed, believing you’d come back... Only waiting, for you, for the day we’d meet again. Replaying memories of you...”
Finally, she calmly added, “I’ve been waiting.”