Chapter 919: Chapter 431: Xiling’s Merciful Lord, Can Forgiveness Be Granted? (Part 3)

f*ck, Chen Tianming is really devious.

Good thing I can talk tough.

Just now, when he heard his own answer didn’t match the solution, Lin Li looked calm on the surface, but inside he was panicking like crazy, frantically replaying his steps, trying to figure out where he messed up and how to patch it.

After all, even though he was indeed more perceptive and quick-thinking now, he couldn’t guarantee he hadn’t missed some condition; even a Cultivator in tribulation can misread something, let alone a little Foundation Establishment like him.

"Who even wants a water bottle like this?" Chen Tianming chuckled, then picked his worksheet back up, frowned, his tone a bit serious: "Damn, even a small contest like this is this hard to learn... don’t tell me this is the limit of this body..."

One glance and boom, full-on chuunibyou flare‑up.

"Oh right, Lin Li, I’m planning to stay on campus this weekend. Why don’t you call the class monitor, we can all hit the library and prep for the contest?" Chen Tianming suddenly looked at Lin Li with expectation.

"Nah, I’ve got plans this weekend." Lin Li shook his head without hesitation.

"What plans?" Chen Tianming raised a brow.

"Tomorrow I’m going with Class Monitor Bufan and the others to hang out near Xiling Church." Lin Li explained.

Chen Tianming raised a brow.

— They’re actually going to a church to play?

Chen Yu Ying also raised a brow.

— "Bufan" actually comes before "class monitor"? His priority’s that high? Hmph, this is going in the little notebook.

Wang Yuezhi raised a brow.

— f*ck, I finally solved this problem, I’m amazing!

— Wang Yuezhi is a man of ambition; he can’t be bothered eavesdropping on Lin Li and Chen Tianming’s conversation.

"Church? What are you guys doing at a church?" Chen Tianming looked at Lin Li in disbelief, voicing his confusion: "Lin Li, don’t you dare say some crap like you believe in Christ or Catholicism. With someone like you, if a priest sprinkles Holy Water on you, by the time he’s done he’d have to spontaneously combust himself—backlash damage."

As everyone knows, "Jesus, Lao Da, Xi’Er, Louis XVI" are the four great overseas heads of Hell-humor; every boy in the back rows of Class 4, Grade 10 has roasted at least one of them. Every last one of them is going to be treated as a VIP by Satan down in Hell, with Lin Li and Bai Bufan being the frontrunners.

If you say those two are going to church out of faith, I feel like during mass Jesus would be so pissed he’d raise both hands, and using the principle of pinhole imaging, send down an oracle telling the believers to burn the two of them at the stake.

If Lin Li and Bai Bufan read out their life’s résumé, halfway through it the statue of Guan Yu would resurrect itself and chop them into mince meat—then Satan would jump out yelling "Do not harm my lord!" and block Guan Yu’s blade.

"Why wouldn’t I believe? I’ve always thought Jesus is almighty and all‑seeing, I really respect and cherish him." Lin Li shot back.

"Mm‑hmm." Chen Tianming spread his hands, ten fingers aimed at Lin Li, and mm‑hmm’d while nodding, like he was introducing Lin Li to the world.

The "respect and cherish" cheat code, huh.

The sentence itself is already disrespectful.

Seeing how firmly Chen Tianming felt about it, Lin Li just smiled: "I’m definitely not going for faith, we’re just going to have some fun."

To be honest, in Nansang, religion really can have an impact on your life, even your future.

Grandpas and grandmas in small towns take this pretty seriously. Lin Li had occasionally heard of couples dating for years, but when it came time to talk marriage, they split because their elders’ faiths were different—like one side being Buddhist and the other Christian. Even if the couple themselves didn’t care, the families refused to support it for that reason, and they ended up breaking up over something that ridiculous.

"Fun? Huh? Fun with what?" Hearing this, Chen Tianming was even more confused. "What is there to do in a church?"

"Normally nothing, but Christmas is just around the corner. That Xiling Catholic Church four kilometers from school is holding some kind of charity sale this week. It’s pretty flashy. We’ll just go check it out: if it’s fun we’ll stay a bit, if it’s not we’ll bail."

Lin Li explained with a grin.

This was Ding Sihan’s plan; she apparently has relatives volunteering at the church.

Since Lin Li had promised his girl he’d go with her, he naturally had no reason to refuse.

Of course, it’s just a county‑level church; even with an event, there isn’t enough content to keep a group of them entertained for long. They’ll probably spend the rest of the time wandering around nearby, maybe catching a movie.

"Oh, right! Next week really is Christmas!" Chen Tianming smacked his forehead.

He honestly only remembered that holiday because Lin Li brought it up.

Nothing to be done—holidays that don’t come with days off really don’t have much gold content in the eyes of primary and secondary schoolers.

— Compared to New Year’s Day, where you get a one‑day holiday, Christmas can go to Red Stone; that’s the simple, honest value system of China’s schoolkids.

Why specify primary and secondary school? Because most college students still care.

After all, most of the "hotel‑staying" happens on foreign holidays, and most of the "family‑eating" happens on domestic ones.

For college students, which is more important, opening a room or opening a room—that’s hard to say, unless you’re College‑Edition Zhou Baowei.

But then Chen Tianming kept trying to persuade Lin Li, hoping to change his mind: "C’mon, Lin Li, don’t celebrate that Western stuff. People I look down on the most are Western‑boot‑lickers like you. And with the competition coming up, I really think it’d be better if we just studied together."

Actually, Chen Tianming had another purpose: to use this as an excuse to invite Yao Qiaoqiao to study with them over the weekend.

Then, after one plus one, they’d basically have a double date.

"Western holiday?" Lin Li immediately refuted him: "Who told you Christmas is a Western holiday?"

"First of all, the three characters ’Shèng Dàn Jié’ are Chinese. How can a Western holiday use Chinese characters?"

"Second, Christmas is a holiday celebrating Hong Xiuquan’s big bro. All of us getting together to celebrate a Chinese guy’s older brother’s birthday—how can that be called celebrating a Western holiday?!"

Chen Tianming: "(;☉_☉)?"

Put that way, it kind of tracked.

Brothers look out for each other; for all we know, Hong Xiuquan might’ve taught Jesus a few things.

Seeing Chen Tianming fall silent, clearly convinced by his logic, Lin Li chuckled:

"My afternoon and evening are already booked, no way to change that. If you’re really that anxious, I’m free tomorrow morning this weekend. I can even skip sleeping in and come tutor you."

As for Sunday morning, Lin Li had plans too—tests for driving license subjects three and four; Yu Jian’an had booked those slots for him.

"I’ll see..."

Since the lunch bell had already rung, Chen Tianming lowered his voice a bit, furrowing his brow as he pondered:

"After school tonight I’ll see if I can use you as bait to get Qiaoqiao to the library. If I can, then tomorrow morning I’ll ask you to play wingman again. If I can’t, then forget it, you can sleep."

"So in the end it’s still all for Qiaoqiao, huh. Figures. Anyway, I’ll wait for your message tonight." Lin Li sneered playfully, "Any other problems you can’t solve?"

"Nope, you can go back now."

"Cool."

Lin Li nodded and went back to his seat.

"No more electrician duty?"

Sitting in the seat she usually lent to Bai Bufan, Chen Yu Ying asked with a soft smile once he came back.

"Yup. Under my brilliant leadership, a task that was supposed to take half an hour only took one hour to complete. Pretty impressive, right?" Lin Li nodded, fishing for praise.

"That’s awesome~" Chen Yu Ying smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

"Right? I think so too."

Since lunch break had officially started, the two didn’t chat much and dove into studying.

After a few minutes, out of habit, Chen Yu Ying glanced at her boyfriend and found Lin Li rubbing his chin, staring out the window like he was deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" She poked his arm with her pen cap, and once he looked over, asked in a soft, gentle voice.

"What Tianming just said actually reminded me of something..." Lin Li muttered:

"You three are fine, you just laugh at Hell jokes from time to time. But me and Bufan going to church tomorrow might give Jesus the chance to really lay into us. We might need some precautions..."

Chen Yu Ying blinked, a bit helpless yet amused: "True, there is that. So what are you planning to do?" 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

"I already have an idea, actually." Lin Li let out a confident little laugh.

"What idea?"

"It’s not human language, I don’t recommend you listen." Lin Li blinked and looked at her.

"Oh, then you’re not allowed to say it!"

This wasn’t one of those "girl says no but means yes" moments, because she immediately covered her ears, even turning her head away so she couldn’t even see his lips move.

She was scared.

Lin Li was very satisfied.

If you don’t want Jesus to take revenge on you, it’s simple: make him hesitate, make him scared too.

So what is Jesus afraid of?

He’s afraid of male‑male action.

Because even with one hand he can’t cover his ass. According to unofficial history, when Jesus was in Chengdu he tried covering his ass with one hand, and the locals suggested he use both hands—said it’d go deeper and feel better.

As long as Bufan and I go to church disguised as a gay couple, we’ll basically be invincible!

But I gotta talk it through with him in afternoon classes first.

I have to be the top.

I don’t trust Bufan not to be a chaos‑stirring little shit.