The Reborn Sovereign of Ruin, Bound by His Star
Chapter 123: Like him.
"I don’t know."
Kamal did not answer immediately.
That, too, was old.
Kamal had never been the sort of man who filled silence simply because it existed. He let it sit when it deserved to sit. He let it become uncomfortable when discomfort was the point. Across from him, beyond the neat line of porcelain and silver, Arik looked too young for the exhaustion in his eyes and too ancient for the careful stillness of his hands.
Eventually, Kamal said, "That is also different."
Arik’s gaze shifted back to him.
"Is it?" 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢
"Yes." Kamal lifted his tea again. "He would have claimed certainty even when there was none."
Arik’s mouth curved faintly. "Goliath was often certain."
"Goliath was often unbearable."
"But also right."
Kamal’s expression remained composed, but the edge of fondness lingered there, dry and well-hidden beneath old professionalism. "You admit uncertainty more easily."
"I admit uncertainty because Liam is involved."
"An effective corrective force, then."
For a moment, Arik said nothing. His fingers moved once against the table, close to Liam’s abandoned cup, not touching it.
Then he asked, "How is Amara?"
The question changed the air between them.
Kamal’s face grew grave, worry and tiredness showing through the polished discipline he had carried for too many years.
"She is sleeping."
Arik’s expression did not move. "Still?"
"Yes."
"How long?"
"Since she talked to you." Kamal looked down into his tea. "She woke for perhaps an hour yesterday after the physician checked her. Long enough to drink, argue about the taste of the medicine, and ask whether the ceiling had always looked so offensively expensive."
Arik’s mouth softened despite himself.
"That sounds like her."
"It does." Kamal’s fingers tightened briefly around the cup before relaxing. "Then she slept again."
The glass walls caught the pale light of Alexandria and turned it cold around them. Below, the city kept shining, indifferent to one woman asleep in a diplomatic residence because the damage in her body had made ordinary life something she could only borrow in small pieces.
Kamal’s voice remained even. "She needs sleep more than she admits. If she rests enough, she can have a few hours where she seems almost herself. She can sit up. Speak. Complain. Threaten poor decisions. Pretend her hands are not shaking."
Arik’s gaze sharpened.
Kamal did not look at him.
"Without it, the pain consumes everything." He tapped one finger lightly against the cup, once, as if measuring the sound. "What about you?"
Arik’s eyes moved to him.
Kamal lifted his gaze. "Do you remember the years while you were poisoned?"
The room went quieter.
Arik rose from the table and fixed the fall of his sleeve with slow precision. "I can say yes, but the truth is that I remember very little. I can feel what I was and how I was, but the memories like Amara showed me? No. Not clearly, but the pain? The desperation that pushed me to sacrifice others to be here? Yes, that I remember."
He paused.
"Liam’s scent brought back an odd memory."
Kamal went still.
"What memory?" Kamal asked.
Arik looked toward the glass walls, though Alexandria was no longer what he saw.
"I had slept through council while on a terrace of an old palace."
Kamal’s face shifted, and for one brief second the old memory moved between them so vividly that the diplomatic suite seemed to thin around the edges.
"You instructed that no one was to disturb you unless the palace was burning, the western border collapsed, or Lord Felix attempted something imaginative," Kamal said, huffing amusedly. "You drank your weight in alcohol the night before, and the true reason we let you sleep was that consorts Hugo and Seraphina would have chewed us out for waking you."
The names settled between them.
Hugo.
Seraphina.
Arik knew them.
No.
That was not right... He knew of them.
He recognized them from Amara’s memories, from the terrible, torn places she had shown him when, for a brief moment, he stood inside Goliath’s ruin and understood the architecture of a life that should have been his own.
Hugo, sharp-eyed and calm, was one of the few people who could look at Goliath’s temper and call it theatrics without dying from the insult.
Seraphina, graceful, dry, and braver than her body had ever been built to survive.
They had died trying to shield their children after Felix poisoned Goliath.
They had failed.
Not because they lacked love.
Because neither of them had been fighters, and Felix’s pheromones had turned the air itself into a weapon.
Arik remembered that fact.
He remembered Amara’s grief.
But he did not feel what Goliath should have felt.
That was the cruelty of it.
He could be Goliath for a breath, a fracture, or the duration of a memory shattered by ether, blood, and Amara’s dying rage, but the soul was still incomplete.
Parts of him remained locked beyond reach, and all Arik felt now was a distant, human sadness, the kind one felt hearing of a tragedy too brutal to deserve silence.
Not the devastation of a man who had lost consorts.
Not the rage of a sovereign whose household had been slaughtered.
Not even the grief of a father.
His hand tightened once against the table.
Kamal saw it.
"You remember them," Kamal said quietly.
Arik’s mouth curved, but there was no humor in it. "Not enough."
Kamal did not answer.
Arik looked down at his own fingers, at the hand that should have carried more than fragments. "Amara showed me what happened. Enough to know their importance in my past life, enough to know Felix killed them by making the air poisonous."
His voice remained calm.
"But I do not remember loving them."
Kamal’s expression changed.
This time, he did not hide it quickly enough.
Arik looked back at him. "I should, shouldn’t I?"
Kamal’s jaw worked once before he answered. "Yes."
Arik nodded once.
"There it is," he said. "That is the missing part."
Kamal looked away first.
Outside, Alexandria sparkled in the morning light, elegant and treacherous, full of people who still spoke Felix Canmore’s name as if history hadn’t already prepared a grave for him.
Arik watched the city with dry eyes.
"I know they died," he said. "I know they tried to protect their children. I know they failed because Felix had turned his pheromones into poison and no one near him understood the danger until breathing became a death sentence. I know Goliath should have torn the world open for that."
His golden eyes cooled.
"But I only know it."
Kamal’s hand rested near his cup, no longer touching it.
For a long moment, he seemed to be looking not at Arik but at a man covered in old sunlight, stretched lazily on a terrace after drinking enough to make servants reconsider religion, grumbling about council while two consorts elsewhere in the palace prepared to lecture him for sleeping like a corpse and calling it rest.
"They were the only ones you listened to," Kamal said.
Arik looked at him.
"Hugo and Seraphina," Kamal continued. "Not always politely. Not immediately. But eventually. You listened when they spoke."
"That sounds unlikely."
"It was infuriatingly true."
Arik’s mouth moved faintly. "And you?"
"I was staff," Kamal said, with grave dignity. "I was obeyed when convenient and blamed when inconvenient."
"That also sounds familiar."
"Yes. Some traditions survive death."
For a moment, the humor almost held.
Then Kamal’s gaze softened.
"Hugo would have told you to stop making state policy while exhausted. Seraphina would have told you that if you were capable of drinking like an immortal beast, then you were also capable of attending breakfast without frightening the children."
Arik turned back toward the glass.
The saint’s breath from the memory still clung somewhere in the back of his mind.
An empty space beside him that had not yet known Liam’s name.
And somewhere outside the reach of memory, Hugo and Seraphina alive enough to complain, alive enough to be obeyed, and alive enough for Goliath to take their scolding as proof that his world had not yet broken.
Arik closed his eyes briefly.
"I want the rest back," he said.
Kamal did not pretend not to understand.
"Even the grief?"
Arik opened his eyes.
"Yes."