Chapter 53: The girl named himari ( part one )

After the meeting with her grandfather in the park, things changed faster than Himari expected.

Not better.

Just...different.

Katsuro kept his promise.

Within two weeks, she was moved out of her father’s house and into a modest apartment near Maxford State College. It wasn’t luxurious, but it was quiet, clean, and far enough from home that she could finally breathe without hearing shouting through paper-thin walls.

For the first time in years, she had a room that didn’t smell like alcohol and cigarette smoke.

A kitchen with working lights.

Windows that actually opened.

A door she could lock.

And somehow...

That made the loneliness worse.

Her father knew Katsuro was back in her life now.

At first, the requests came carefully wrapped in guilt.

"Himari," he would say over the phone in that tired voice of his, "you know I protected you after your mother died."

Or:

"There are bills piling up around the house. You know your old man can’t exactly hold down a job in this condition."

Then eventually:

"Your grandfather’s loaded anyway. What’s a few thousand dollars to people like him?"

Emotional blackmail became routine after that.

Mortgage payments.

Medical expenses.

"Unexpected emergencies."

Her father always sounded ashamed while asking, which somehow made it harder to refuse.

And Himari...

Himari was terrified of losing another parent.

So she obeyed.

Katsuro handled everything else from Japan.

Tuition.

Housing.

Books.

Living expenses.

Sometimes packages would arrive at her apartment without warning: clothes, electronics, expensive stationery she never asked for. No note attached. No explanation.

Just proof that somewhere across the world, her grandfather was watching.

The first day she moved into the dorm in Maxford State College, she arrived with only a single storage box and a duffel bag.

Inside the box were a few folded clothes, old photographs of her mother, some worn novels, headphones, sketchbooks, and a cracked music player she refused to throw away.

That was it.

Her roommate stared at the tiny pile in confusion.

"That’s...all your stuff?"

Himari glanced up from unpacking.

"Yes."

The girl blinked.

Then smiled.

"Well, that’s depressing."

Himari slowly looked at her.

The girl extended her hand immediately.

"I’m Susan."

Himari stared at the hand like it was some kind of trap.

Susan laughed awkwardly.

"Okay wow, tough crowd."

After a few seconds, Himari finally shook it.

"Himari."

"Well," Susan said brightly, "welcome to Maxford State College, Himari."

From the beginning, Susan talked too much.

Far too much.

She talked while brushing her hair.

Talked while studying.

Talked while eating.

Sometimes Himari would wake up at two in the morning and Susan would somehow still be talking.

It should have annoyed her more than it did.

"Come out with me tonight," Susan said one evening while trying on jackets in front of the mirror.

"No."

"You didn’t even think about it."

"I did."

"And?"

"No."

Susan groaned dramatically.

"You are seriously the most antisocial person I’ve ever met."

Himari kept reading her book.

"That’s fine."

"No, it’s not fine," Susan argued. "You can’t spend your entire life hiding in corners like some haunted Victorian child."

Himari slowly looked up.

"What does that even mean?"

"I don’t know," Susan admitted. "But it sounded accurate."

Against all logic...

Himari found herself almost liking her.

Almost.

It helped that Susan never looked at her the way other people did.

Most people avoided Himari instinctively.

Something about her unsettled them.

Teachers became overly careful around her. Students whispered after conversations with her. Even when she said nothing, people often acted like she had.

Susan didn’t.

Susan dragged her places.

Unfortunately, that became necessary because Himari had a terrible sense of direction.

A truly catastrophic one.

"You got lost going to the cafeteria?" Susan asked in disbelief.

"I took a wrong turn."

"Himari, the cafeteria is downstairs."

"There were too many hallways."

"There are two hallways."

Himari frowned at the campus map upside down.

"They all look identical."

Susan stared at her for a long moment.

Then burst out laughing.

After that, Susan started walking her to classes herself.

Which was exactly how everything started.

—

The lecture hall was half full by the time Himari arrived that morning.

Professor Harmon droned on at the front of the room while students typed lazily into laptops or pretended to pay attention.

Himari sat near the middle row, notebook open but untouched.

Outside the tall windows, gray clouds drifted slowly across the October sky.

Her thoughts wandered.

Back home.

To her father.

To unpaid bills.

To Katsuro.

To the strange feeling that her life didn’t actually belong to her anymore.

"Uh... excuse me?"

She blinked.

A boy stood beside her seat holding a notebook against his chest.

Dark hair slightly messy.

Tie crooked.

Out of breath like he’d sprinted across campus.

"Can I sit here?" he asked.

Himari looked around.

There were literally empty seats everywhere.

"...Why?"

The boy blinked at the question.

"Because every other seat feels weird now."

"What?"

"I came late," he explained awkwardly. "If I sit too far forward everyone looks at me. If I sit too far back the professor notices. This seat feels...safe."

Himari stared at him for several seconds.

What a strange person.

"...Do whatever you want."

"Thanks."

He sat down beside her with visible relief.

Then immediately dropped his pen.

"...Great."

Himari ignored him.

Throughout the lecture, he whispered occasional comments under his breath whenever the professor said something ridiculous.

At one point she caught herself almost reacting to one of them.

Almost.

When class ended, students immediately began packing up.

The boy turned toward her.

"Thanks again for letting me sit here."

Himari shoved her notebook into her bag.

"No problem."

Then she walked away.

Behind her, Ethan stood there looking mildly offended.

"Well she’s awfully nice?" he muttered to himself.

—

The cafeteria was crowded that afternoon.

Himari sat alone near the windows eating quietly while scrolling through her phone.

Peaceful.

Finally.

Then—

"Hey."

She looked up slowly.

Of course it was him.

"It’s you from class," Ethan said brightly.

"Hi."

He stood right in front of her like he was asking for permission to sit .

Bold.

"I’m Ethan."

"And I don’t care."

That finally made him pause.

Good.

Before the awkward silence could fully settle, another familiar voice suddenly appeared nearby.

"Did you already pick a seat for us?"

Susan approached holding a tray of food.

Ethan looked up immediately.

"Oh—hey Susan."

Himari blinked once.

Wait.

They knew each other?

"Hi Ethan," Susan said with a smile.

Before Himari could process that further, Ethan looked between them.

"Wait... you two know each other?"

Susan laughed softly.

"She’s my roommate."

Ethan looked genuinely surprised.

"No way."

"Yes way," Susan teased.

"Himari barely talks to anybody though, so congratulations."

"I talk."

"Threats don’t count."

Unfortunately...

"You know each other?" Susan asked.

"Barely," Himari answered immediately.

Ethan looked offended again.

"I sat beside you for an entire lecture."

"Against my will."

Susan burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, this is amazing."

"It wasn’t that bad," Ethan argued.

"You talked too much."

"I made like three comments."

"Three too many."

Susan grinned between them.

"You two are weirdly funny together."

"We’re not together," Himari said instantly.

"Right," Ethan added quickly.

A strange silence followed.

Susan looked between them suspiciously before pushing an extra chair out with her foot.

"Sit down, Ethan."

He hesitated.

"You sure?"

"Obviously."

Ethan sat.

And somehow...

That became a habit too.

Lunches turned into conversations.

Conversations turned into familiarity.

Familiarity turned into routine.

At first, Himari only tolerated him because he was attached to Susan.

But over time, she started noticing things.

Ethan remembered small details people usually ignored.

He always shared lecture notes when she missed classes.

He waited for Susan after evening lectures even when he was tired.

And unlike most people...

He didn’t seem afraid of her.

The first time someone openly blamed Himari for something she didn’t do happened during a group presentation.

A girl accused her of deleting project files the night before submission.

"She was the last one online," the girl snapped. "Obviously it was her."

The rest of the group immediately went quiet.

Himari recognized the silence instantly.

The kind where people already decided you were guilty before you spoke.

Then Ethan frowned.

"That doesn’t even make sense."

Everyone looked at him.

"She literally sent me the finished slides herself last night," he continued calmly. "Why would she delete her own work?"

The girl stumbled slightly.

"Well maybe she changed her mind or—"

"Or maybe you forgot to save your own file," Ethan cut in.

The room went quiet.

And just like that...

The blame shifted away from her.

Simple.

Effortless.

Like protecting her wasn’t even something he had to think about.

That stayed with Himari longer than it should have.

Because nobody had ever done that before.

Not once.

After that day, she started relying on him more than she realized.

He became...steady.

Predictable.

Safe.

If Ethan said he would show up somewhere, he did.

If he promised something, he kept it.

He listened when she spoke.

He noticed when she stopped speaking too.

And slowly, without meaning to...

Himari started waiting for him.

Looking for him in crowds.

Watching classroom doors for him.

Listening for his voice.

At first she told herself it was friendship.

Nothing more.

Then one evening she walked into the dorm room and found Susan lying upside down across her bed smiling at her phone.

"You look happy," Himari said.

Susan grinned.

"Ethan finally asked me out properly."

Something twisted sharply inside Himari’s chest.

Painful.

Unexpected.

Susan sat up immediately.

"Oh my God, wait till you hear how awkward it was."

Himari stood there silently while Susan kept talking excitedly.

Words blurred together after that.

Because for the first time...

She understood exactly what the feeling in her chest was becoming.

And it terrified her.

That night, long after Susan fell asleep, Himari sat alone by the dorm window staring out at the campus lights below.

Her phone buzzed softly beside her.

A text message.

From Ethan.

Did Susan tell you?

Another message followed immediately.

She’s been smiling nonstop for twenty minutes.

Himari stared at the screen.

Then slowly typed back:

You seem happy.

Three dots appeared instantly.

Then:

Yeah.

A long pause.

Then another message.

I think she makes me better.

Himari read the sentence three times.

Something cold settled quietly beneath her ribs.

Deep enough that she almost didn’t notice it yet.

Almost.

Outside, the campus lights flickered softly against the dark.

And for the first time since meeting Ethan...

Himari realized Susan was standing between them.