Ch.19

One pleasant evening.

“Ah, right.”

Rosetta set down her spoon. Then she said,

“I’m pregnant.”

At that moment, Leviathan had to question whether he had heard her correctly. Even though he had been watching his wife the entire dinner.

He blinked slowly.

“...What did you say?”

No, because.

Usually, when someone starts with Ah, right, what comes next is something far more trivial, isn’t it?

Something like, Ah, right. I bought clothes today. Or maybe, Ah, right. We’ve eaten, so how about a walk?

So he asked again like an idiot, but he had not misheard.

“I said I’m pregnant.”

“......”

“With your child and mine.”

Crash!

His large body shot upright. The tall chair toppled over without mercy, and Rosetta widened her eyes and murmured, “Oh my.”

The servants standing far enough away not to hear the couple’s voices quietly withdrew, tactfully respecting the privacy of newlyweds.

Crossing the distance in long strides, he came straight to her and lowered himself to the floor. Rosetta glanced aside and looked down at him.

“Say it again.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Ha......”

The first thing he felt was relief.

So that was why she had refused the wine she loved so much all through dinner and merely picked at her food. She wasn’t sick. The realization hit first.

Then he became a little dumbfounded.

“You’re telling me something this important... while violently murdering your dessert with a spoon?”

We’ve just spent two full hours at dinner.

“What matters is that I told you.”

Rosetta replied as if it were nothing, then went right back to attacking the pudding in front of her.

“Ha, honestly, you......”

Still clutching her thigh, he buried his face against her.

“What is this? You’re not... crying, are you?”

“I am. I’m crying. So... put down /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ that damned fork and look at me.”

“......”

“Why on earth are you only telling me something this important now—”

He stopped dead as he looked up at Rosetta.

Because her face, seen up close, was oddly stiff.

Only then did he realize that the restless movement of her hands had been an effort to hide her anxiety. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

“Rose.”

“...I do get nervous too, you know.”

That was all it took. He could not hold back any longer and pulled Rosetta into a fierce embrace.

Something indescribable came rushing over him like a wave.

“So that’s what happened.”

Rosetta muttered it with an embarrassed face.

“Ha......”

What was this?

Was he dreaming?

Leviathan was swallowed by a feeling he could not put into words.

“Leviathan, are you happy?”

“Am I happy?”

A breath of laughter escaped him.

Was happiness all he felt?

Happiness, joy, rapture, gratitude, love, bliss... in this moment, every beautiful word in the world belonged to him.

“...You don’t really like children that much.”

Rosetta muttered.

“I don’t really care for them either.”

More precisely, they frightened her.

Children were too white, too small, too clean.

If she were wrung dry, black and red liquid would probably seep out. Could someone like her really dare to hold children so blank and white as untouched paper?

Leviathan quietly stroked her back.

“Do you want to know how I really feel right now?”

“Mm.”

“The whole world feels like a blessing.”

“What is that? That’s unbearably cheesy. Get away from me.”

“That was me putting it as plainly as possible.”

Even when she playfully pushed him away, Leviathan only pressed closer and kissed her forehead.

As she received the countless kisses raining down on her, Rosetta idly played with the ornament on his clothes and murmured,

“You know... what if I’m not a good mother?”

“Well. The fact that you’re worrying about that already makes me think you’ll be a very good mother. And...”

Leviathan paused, then added it like a vow.

“You have me.”

“Excuse me. To be coldly honest, there’s no guarantee you’ll be such a good father either. You’ve never lived as a father before.”

“That’s brutally cold.”

A short laugh followed.

“Then let’s work at it together.”

He said,

“I’ll try harder.”

Rosetta gave a little laugh. Only then did it feel as though the tightly drawn thread of tension inside her had finally snapped loose.

“You know, my friend Yuris said babies’ first cries are incredibly loud. Is it because they’re hungry? What am I supposed to do for them? She said later on you can tell what they need just from the sound of their crying... will I end up like that too? Have you ever heard a baby cry?”

The words she had been holding in came tumbling out all at once.

“No.”

Leviathan swallowed a laugh. Her anxious excitement was almost contagious.

“Hm, well, I’m the one giving birth, so I’ll hear it first, won’t I? You’ll just be outside the door, dripping cold sweat and pacing in circles.”

“...That image alone makes me feel like throwing up.”

Rosetta laughed softly.

“Our baby will probably be adorable even when it cries. So adorable you won’t be able to bear not holding it.”

“Of course.”

Leviathan braced a hand against the chair to kiss her more deeply, then stopped.

The sensation at his fingertips was far too cold and hard. Like being splashed with ice water, his mind cleared in an instant.

“This chair is too hard.”

“Hm?”

“We need more cushions. Ah, and you need to eat again. You barely touched anything the whole time.”

“No, I’m fu—”

“We need more braziers too. Better yet, we should spend the winter somewhere warm in the South. No, no, that’s not right. Long-distance travel might be worse, so first we need to see how you are......”

On and on and on.

A man built like a mountain paced in circles nearby, his brow deeply furrowed in grave seriousness. Watching him, Rosetta stared blankly.

Baby, look at that.

Then she let out another little laugh.

Your father really is cute, isn’t he?

He was surprisingly full of charm.

Smiling in satisfaction, she cupped her stomach.

Still, if possible, take after your mother in looks. Your father is the most handsome man in the world, but he looks a little too difficult for ordinary social life.

Just look at those eyes. Weren’t they outrageously arrogant?

“Tell me what you need.”

As she looked at the man clutching her shoulders again, practically pleading, Rosetta thought calmly,

...Still, well, his eye color is beautiful.

That mysterious violet gaze.

It was the color she loved most in the world.

“If a little red mixed into my blue, would that do it......?”

Yes, if it blended just right, it would be the color of a precious ruby.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

Smiling, Rosetta wrapped her arms around Leviathan’s neck. He hesitated, then carefully lifted her into his arms.

“I love you, Leviathan.”

Then Leviathan—slightly younger than he was now—looked up at her and smiled gently.

“I love you.”

Ah......

At that moment, Rosetta felt a brief sense of wrongness.

Just as lips drenched in sweetness met.

Younger than he is now...

The sorrowful realization came quietly.

This is a dream.

The baby...

is gone now.

Rosetta Zebbert slowly lifted her eyelids. One hand was cradling her lower belly as though it were precious.

Just like in that dream.

“......”

The memory of the happiest day in the world. It had been a very long time since she had seen it in a dream.

Rosetta blinked vacantly for a moment, then smiled.

This is nice.

If only because this way, she could still remember.

“Yaaawn.”

When she stretched widely, the maid standing by the window turned around.

“My lady, are you uncomfortable anywhere?”

“No, not at all. When will we arrive?”

“It will still take about half a day.”

“I see......”

She was on her way back to the capital after finishing volunteer work in the South.

This winter, her youngest daughter would finally have her coming-of-age ceremony at eighteen.

“Ohhh, I’m dying to see my children!”

Rosetta bounced her feet.

Naturally, Rubian’s sweetly grown face rose in her mind.

Soft silver hair drifting in the air, and watery blue eyes like a crisp autumn sky. The round pale cheeks still had not quite lost all their baby fat.

Every time I come home, I measure her height...

Sadly, Rubian’s height had stopped at the tip of Rosetta’s nose... which also made her the perfect size to hold tight.

And she runs warm, so she’s always so nice and toasty.

My adorable daughter.

Rosetta laughed softly and looked out the window.

Before she knew it, the winter wind had turned sharp enough to brush cold against her cheek.

So it’s all right.

Quietly, she pressed a hand over the belly that somehow felt colder now.

I’m not empty.

The carriage rolled slowly on toward its destination.